Christmas... and Scroogedom

Greetings.


Bev has a Christmas complex. I swear. She insists, the SECOND that Thanksgiving is over, that Christmas is ushered in. She set up the Christmas tree THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING. It's like, "Hey. pig out, eat the food! 12:01 a.m.? Oh, no! JESUS WILL BE MAD AT ME IF I DON'T SET UP THE TREE RIGHT THIS SECOND!" Yes, that's pretty much what she's like. She loves Christmas. Like, she would cheat on Dad with it if she could.

I love Christmas too. WHEN IT'S FRICKING DECEMBER!!!!!!!!! It's not even December and we're suiting up for Christmas. Does anyone else think that this is wrong? For one, Jesus's birthday was in the SUMMER. But let's ignore that for a moment. Aren't there supposed to be twelve days of Christmas? So why are we starting to prepare for it twelve WEEKS before it?

I guess you could call me a Scrooge - humbug and all that - but truthfully, I haven't really felt the Christmas spirit in a long time. Sure I feel good on Christmas Day and the presents are nice. But I can't remember what the Christmas Spirit feels like. I remember I used to have it... then poof. One year it was gone. Maybe it was during the worst year of my life - seventh grade, age 12 - that I lost it. I'm watching even THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC and he has great Christmas cheer. The biggest cynic I know loves Christmas. What does that make me? Oh, my gosh...

I am Scrooge! I'm seriously Scrooge! He had Christmas spirit with his sister Fan and Fezziwig and Belle and then he lost it and became a rich miser! I'M FRICKING SCROOGE! (except I'm not rich) Dude, I need some GHOSTS. I need help! HELP ME, SOMEONE! Oh, Lord!

On a related note, I have been asked to play a part in the Dove Creek Bible Church's Christmas show. Maybe that will help me get my spirit back. I used to be in play all the time at my old church - Southington Heights Christian Church, the mother organization to Southington Heights Christian Academy - and I loved it.

And now for something completely different. I had the worst nightmare last night. I dreamt that Joseph was on a date WITH A GUY FROM MY THEATER TROUPE (I am unsure if the guy from my troupe is gay or not) NAMED GARRISON OTTEN. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? I HAVE NO CHRISTMAS SPIRIT AND I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THE GUY I LOVE AS A GAY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE GET ME SOME PSYCHIATRIC HELP!!!!!!!!!!! I woke up in a cold sweat, I was so freaked out. Mind you I was only asleep for an hour last night, I crap you not, mostly because I was stupid enough to watch the Nostalgia Critic's Old vs. New of WILLY WONKA/CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.

Guess what I have a pathological fear of. Yep. The fricking Blueberry in those movies.

I am going to go check myself into Arkham Asylum now.


Cuckooz
HM (Why so serious?)