Thursday, April 7, 2011

Worried... To Say the Least

Greetings.


Nothing is going right this week. I stayed the night at Gramps and Nana's last night, Dad and I fought yesterday about the stupidest thing - seriously, he just snapped at me for NOTHING - Joseph and I had a fight earlier today...

But none of that is as important as what's on my mind now. Nana is in the hospital. Everyone's saying "Oh, she's fine, she just needs medicine from and IV, that's all." Bull. Never in my life do I remember Nana being in the hospital. She was sick when I stayed there yesterday - diverticulosis, or something like that, I think I spelled it right. And she was in pain. But... today she was checked into the hospital by HER DOCTOR. That's the doom flag right there. That's like a newscaster saying, "A hurricane has been spotted off the coast of- PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!"

I don't want to sleep. What if she calls and needs me? I know the chances are slim, but I don't want to risk it. Nana was there when I was born. She's who I run to. She understands me better than my parents. She's fun. She's my rock. I need my Nana. And though everyone tells me that she's going to be fine, I can't help having this gut feeling that something's wrong! Something is going to go wrong and I can't help feeling that way. I am scared for my Nana. I don't want to sleep. I want to go to the hospital and sit in her room and watch her, maybe sleep there.

I'm scared. That's not enough to describe it. Excuse my French in advance: I am damn terrified.


Prayerz
HM

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Stupid Thing I Did Today

Greetings.


I don't know what your opinion of me may be based on this blog, but most people will tell you I am not impulsive and I normally make wise decisions. Well, okay, maybe not wise, but certainly not stupid. Sensible decisions is almost what I am known for. I'm indecisive when it comes to personal problems, but when there is a choice I have to make, I usually choose the one that works out the best for everyone involved and these choices usually come up everyday.

Today, however, I may have made the wrong one.

Chill out, it's not like I killed anyone or anything. Picture this: It's state "No-Child-Left-Behind" testing week at Horizon and the seniors don't have to take them. (Ha ha) So, we go to the theater and of course we have a speaker. Not just any speaker, a local policeman talking about local teens who are affected by car crashes. He even brought one of the mothers of one of the teens who died. I cried, but I freaked out at a couple points because of the blood. Okay, that didn't go too bad.

After that, we went out to the basketball courts where the car show was. Car show? What car show? Horizon has a car show and the winners of certain categories get something in the yearbook about them. I entered my new royal blue Prius - named Grover, like from Sesame Street - that I got on Sunday (I don't remember if I said anything about that) in two categories: Best Looking Ride and Nicest Interior. Bennie, Joss, Joseph and I just hung out in the car while everyone else sweat in the uncharacteristically hot sun. It was fun. I won Nicest Interior. I should; Grover has built-in sheepskin (I didn't order it) seat covers and still has that new car smell. =)

So far, so good, right? Nothing stupid. Yet.

Well, we go back to the theater for the awards and whatnot and we finish everything a little early. We have about half an hour before we're allowed to go to an all-school lunch. (The weird thing is they usually give us more time during all-school lunches and today they didn't.) Anyways, the activities director staff person whatever called for two girls and two guys. Two guys immediately went up and a single girl went up after much prodding. No other girl wanted to participate - which is weird because almost all of the cheerleaders were in the front three rows - so I just walked up there. It started with a quiz show - I won with the question "What is sand?" and my answer was "granulated sedimentary rock". The boys surrendered. - and then progressed to a dance-off. Here's the stupid part. I didn't sit down. Instead, they played some unidentified song with a kind of sweet sticky sexy beat and I just went with it. I was swaying, rocking, body-rolling, shaking, shimmying, I even took off my sweater in kind of a striptease-y way. The crowd went wild. I won. Normally I get second but the other guy who usually wins didn't participate today.

I'm not done. After the dance off, we still had 10 minutes left, so the activity lady called for singers. I volunteered. I was up there all ready. I sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. The crowd was clapping and having a good time. I fumbled a bit on the lyrics - I don't know the song as well as I know, say, "Hot N Cold" - but they were having fun. This decision was probably not a stupid as my striptease (ha ha), but I saw my friends' faces. They were embarrassed during all of it, especially the dance. It made me feel really sad. I know I did something stupid, but Bennie, Joss, and Joseph could have at least tried to have fun...

It kind of hurt my feelings. The others' friends were having a great time, cheering for them. Mine were blushing, sinking down in their seats, covering their faces. They didn't even try to be supportive of me. Oh well... it just kind of hurt, you know? Sigh... And people wonder why I don't volunteer more.


Hugz
HM

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Why? I don't know.

Greetings.


Okay, for those of you who CAN'T see the timestamp on this, I'm writing this at 3:13 a.m. Why? I'm stressing and it's REALLY hot in my house. OKay, let's go with the stressing. I applied for my community college in February. I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THEM! I am worried, no BEYOND worried. I have a back-up - a college in New Orleans - but frankly I am scared of New Orleans ever since Hurricane Katrina. I know that's kind of stupid, but THEY GET HURRICANES A LOT. Aunt Gia and Uncle Buzz live there and I could stay with them but I haven't seen them or talked to them since I was 10 years old. I wouldn't want to burden them like that. Their house was one of the ones damaged. It wasn't completely destroyed - my uncle's an engineer for the Navy so he designed it to endure anything - but it was still damaged as well as the place where Gia works. So, yeah, New Orleans is bad.

I am stressing about the community college. Someone come visit me in the nuthouse.


Hugz
HM
P.S. I didn't get to April Fool anyone this year... Wah.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Concerned Granddaughter's Log

Greetings.


(รก la Shatner's Captain Kirk) Concerned Granddaughter's Log. Stardate 64745.9. Yes, I actually calculated the stardate from STAR TREK. It's not that hard. Anyways, Poppy is worse off than we all thought. It turns out he needs a triple bypass surgery. He has three completely blocked arteries. The problem is that the doctors are reluctant to operate - though they already assured us they will on Saturday - because he's weak from the pneumonia he's had for the past while. I'm extremely worried. Dad is teaching tomorrow and then he's going straight up to Fort Yates to see Poppy. Lara and Dewey are still there. Dad's brother and sister-in-law, Uncle Buzz and Aunt Gia Walker, are coming up from Louisiana but Dad's sister and brother-in-law, Aunt Abigail and Uncle Reggie Potts, can't come. Buzz and Gia can come because Buzz makes a KILLING working for the Navy but Uncle Reggie and Aunt Abigail aren't that lucky. Anyways, Dad should be home soon. Meanwhile, I'm still hacking, swallowing, and breathing painfully. But I'm more worried about Poppy.

If only Bones were here.


Hugz
HM

Monday, March 28, 2011

Nothing's Going Right

Greetings.


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY BLOG! WHEEEEEEE! I STARTED ON FRIDAY MARCH 26, 2010! WOW, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING YEAR! WAHOO!

Okay, time for the depressing stuff. As the intelligent ones among you readers can guess by the title, things are not going so hot for me. Let's start off with the easy one: I am sick. Not throwing-up-sick anymore, but I have a throat infection (though to me it feels like something else, but, hey, I can't see my own throat because I don't have a flashlight that small) and IT HURTS LIKE A @&^$(&@)&#$)^&)(*^&@(*^(*@*#$*^&@^^@*^$#&^*@&*(#*^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Obviously, I didn't really curse, but you get the idea.)

The sad part is, and I know I have addressed this a MILLION times before, that none of my sisters nor my best friend have called to ask me what's wrong. Bennie did last week on Thursday, but there was nothing on Wednesday. I went to school on Friday - had a choir festival, kicked MAJOR WELLER PREPARATORY ACADEMY SAILORS' BUTT! - but felt sick by the end. I stayed in bed from Saturday to today. I didn't go to church yesterday. (It's Monday @ 11:54 when I am writing this part.) Joseph didn't call, nor did Petrie, but I didn't expect him to. Today, I got a text from Chase and then a reply from an earlier text message I sent to William. THAT'S IT! THAT'S ALL THE CONSIDERATION I GET WHEN I AM SICK! I shall have you know, I always make an effort to call, visit, email excessively, or, at the least, text insanely until I know every detail and diagnosis of their illness. I was worried sick when Ally tore her ACL, but, because she was always so busy, I could never visit. Not for lack of trying; I asked at least once a day. And when Claire was sick, I called her three times to check on her. Joseph? I took home after school and then I stopped by Jackson's and got him a piece of cake. Joss? Bennie? Texts, calls, the whole shebang. They just live a whole lot farther than the others otherwise I would have visited. I'd do the same for Chase and the rest but Chase has never been sick in the short time I've known him and the others I call and do whatever the second I hear about them because I don't see them on a daily basis.

But me? Nah. Maybe I'd just be better off if I just left for a while. It's not like people notice. And you want to know the saddest part? When Nana and I went to the doctor today, I was praying that I had tonsillitis so that I could have my tonsils out. Why? Maybe people would notice a major surgery, the fact that I couldn't talk, the legal pad or white board in my hands. (Okay, now it's Tuesday @ 12:03. Just so you know.) Whenever I get sick, I think of this one story I read in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL FOR TEENS.

This girl was invisible at her high school, or so she felt. Always alone, no one spoke to her and she spoke to no one. I can't remember, but she was in between the ages of 15 and 17. One day, they diagnose her with ovarian cancer. She had her hysterectomy and suddenly she started to realize that people hadn't been shunning her; she had been shunning them. Whenever I get sick, I pray for it to be major so that I can have that happen to me. I know it's completely shallow and terrible and really REALLY pathetic, but that's what happens. Can you blame me? No one notices me when I'm well and not even my sisters/best friend notice when I'm sick. Which is sadder?

Oh, I forgot, there's worse news. Poppy, the man who is spending all of his money on me (and Bentley a little bit too, but not as much) is in the hospital with not only pneumonia BUT ALSO AN ANEURYSM IN ONE OF HIS MAJOR VEINS. Yeah, that's right. They wouldn't have noticed the aneurysm had he not gone in for pneumonia! He could have died! Dad's kind of shaking and he's been keeping close tabs on his half-brother, Dewey, and half-sister-in-law, Lara, for updates. I'm scared. This is why I hate people spending money on me. What if I never get to tell them thank you or pay them back? I want to talk to Poppy, but he's in ICU. Dad says he's fine and that the only thing he's complaining about is that he doesn't have his laptop to manage his stocks.

But I keep dwelling. He's a Christian Scientist and has been since his last wife, Nim, or Helena, died of pancreatic cancer about three years ago. He wouldn't even be in the hospital now if it weren't for Lara. She's monitoring him constantly and making sure he follows orders. I'm scared. I'm sorry, but I am. If you think it's wimpy of me to get all weepy about this, BACK THE HELL OFF. I am PMSing, I am sick, and I almost lost my grandfather. And for those of you heartless jerks out there who think I want his money? Shame on you. Then again, it's not my place to lay judgment.

GOD will punish you.


Hugz
HM
Dedicated to all of those frightened or suffering for a loved one. And everyone who is sick right this second. God bless.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Update

Greetings.


NEWS FLASH! LINKARA IS JUST AS AWESOME AS THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!!!!

Sorry, I had to put it there. I love Linkara. He is younger than the Critic and I think kind of cuter (but then again, I have weird tastes. If you've seen Joseph, you know.) than the Critic and he doesn't curse! I love him! <3

Okay, I'm done being crazy fangirl. I have been sick the last two days and I have done squat. AND I LOVE IT! I have been amazingly stressed and wired for the last few days. It's been agonizing and doing nothing for my health. Which is probably why I got sick. Not like KOFF KOFF HACK HACK can't breathe sick, but spill-your-guts sick. Sorry. Anyways, I did do some of my Spanish homework and I got a lot of my English done, so yay me, but Bev still wants me to call this place about a job, I still have to cook, clean, and pick up Bentley, and do everything else around here. What part of "BLEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGHHH!" doesn't anyone understand?

Yeah, I know I am griping but I've been kind of pissy the last few days. I apologize sincerely. Staying home all day makes me antsy but I don't feel like going anywhere because I'm sick. Ugh, this is why I hate being sick. It's no fun. Sure, some people play video games. But I don't for two reasons. One: I really suck at video games. Yeah, I try and learn about video games, and I LOVE watching them, but I can't play first person shooters because they make me dizzy, online games I can't get the controls down on, and other video games are either too hard or complicated. Here is the complete list of video games I can kick butt while playing:

Marvel Ultimate Alliance (XBOX 360 and PS2)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS2. Boy, did THAT take me forever)
Teen Titans (PS2)
Soul Caliber IV (XBOX 360)
LEGO Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Star Wars: The Original Trilogy (PS2, XBOX 360, and PS2 respectively)

And that's it! And the second reason: Dr. Craig said it would be a good idea for Bentley to stay home today. No reason, or at least none that I get told. So Bentley plays video games all day instead of doing the homework I KNOW he has because I had the exact same teachers in eighth grade that he has now. I have done most of mine. I just have to finish up the more tedious assignments. He hasn't done DIDDLY.

Ugh, just thinking about it is making me frustrated and making my stomach hurt, so I am moving on. I don't know if I've said this but MY THEATER TROUPE IS DOING MY ADAPTATION OF "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS"! If I have said this before, I'm sorry. If I haven't, BOO-YAH I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!

Okay, now I am REALLY feeling sick... I gotta go.


Hugz
HM

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Animal and Prius

Greetings.


I think my Poppy needs a new hobby. The hobby he has now? BUYING ME CARS. I mean, my gosh, he JUST gave me Animal last month - LITERALLY LESS THAN A MONTH AGO - and NOW he wants me to test drive A FREAKING PRIUS. My gosh, what am I gonna tell Animal? I just got my license plate - "HMANML" - for Animal. Plus, I put a sticky flag on the window. STICKY. I am worried that I am going to damage him. And that's IF he buys me the Prius. Good grief, I know I shouldn't be complaining about getting ANOTHER new car - I mean, how evil is Poppy? - but I am worried that he's going to bankrupt himself when he was already generous enough to just GIVE me Animal. Maybe I'll get another red car and name it Animal so I can keep the license plates... Anyways, yeah, I might get a Prius. I just wanted to tell you.


Hugz
HM

Monday, March 7, 2011

Punching Bag

Greetings.


I could use a bag of ice for my knuckles on both hands right now, but then Bev and Dad (maybe Bentley too) would ask questions and I don't really feel like talking right now. So, I'll just type.

I like Mrs. Yates, the librarian. We get along, talk about books, and agree on most things. So much so, that now I work for her, as I am fairly sure I mentioned before, every sixth period. Well, I am not alone. Here are the cast of characters in what has become my daily hell a.k.a. sixth period:

Serena Kyle - senior, slutty ho-bag, all-around b***h, lazy, harasses me, makes me out to be the bad guy for doing my work, slacker, idiot, doesn't listen or take direction, purposefully distracts others, smack-talker.
Sarah Jones - junior, see above.
Porter "Pothead" Travers - junior, lazy, fazed, smack-talker, harasses me almost as much as Sarah and Serena, constantly zoning out, perpetually looks as if he's stoned, hence the nickname, dumb as a box of hair.
Brody Hopkins - senior, the only one I can even come close to tolerate, quiet, shy, deaf in one ear, keeps to himself, pretty smart.

Now, why am I telling you this? Well, I'm introducing these people to you so you will understand why I made Joseph hold up my backpack in front of him so I could hit it repeatedly like a punching bag after school. (By the way, I need a new backpack.)

For months - MONTHS - Sarah and Serena having been doing nothing except for the few times I do their job and they take the credit. Fine. Pothead does the same thing. Fine. I don't care. But today, I had had it. We had built displays and Mrs. Yates had told Serena, Sarah, Pothead, Brody, and I to clear displays. Guess who was the only one who did it. Brody went into the back to read after he shelved his section of books that had been returned. Pothead, Serena, and Sarah got on the front computers even though it's only Pothead's week to do circulation desk. Serena and Sarah are whispering about me and looking up picture of mostly naked guys. (These are the same girls who, last Friday, had thought it would be funny to flash me through the window of Mrs. Yates's office while I was working at the front desk. Mrs. Yates, Pothead, and Brody were elsewhere.) I am putting away four tables worth of books - I counted over 100, I swear on the life of my mother - cleaning the tables, straightening chairs, AND shelving my section of books, which just so happens to house the manga section, our library's most popular section. All of this is going on while Mrs. Yates is trying to instruct a class on the proper use of our school's databases.

Now you know the set up, here's what happened:

A student comes in to check out a book. Okay. I am shelving the displays in the 300 section of the library. Then I hear the grating whine of "HarmoneeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeee" from Serena, who always leaves off the "Margaret" even though I have reminded her scores of times. "What?" I yell back. "We need the security code!" Sarah moaned. "I don't know it!" "Go ask Mrs. Yates!" Serena orders. "It's Pothead's job, it's his week at circ desk, make him get off his lazy butt and do it! And you two aren't even supposed to be up there!" "It's none of your business! Just go get the code!" Sarah snaps. Meanwhile, the student, who is supposed to be our first priority is just staring at the scene. Three minutes passed and no one had gotten Mrs. Yates. I finally decided I had had enough and went to Mrs. Yates and asked for the code. She gave it to me, I typed it into the computer, and got the student his book. During this whole thing, Serena and Sarah were smack-talking me and being purposefully rude to the student. I told them to shut up, gave the student his book, politely instructed him to have a nice day, and went back to the fourth table of books I had been working on.

Five minutes after this little episode, Mrs. Yates finishes teaching and comes back to the circ desk to ask how things went. SERENA AND SARAH SAID THAT I NOT ONLY TOLD THEM TO SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK, BUT THAT I HAD ANTAGONIZED OUR GUEST AND DID NO WORK! PLUS, THEY LIED AND SAID THAT THEY HAD CLEANED UP TWO TABLES WORTH OF DISPLAY WHEN IN FACT THEY HAD SAT AT THE COMPUTER TRYING TO LOOK UP PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES ON BING! Pothead didn't say anything. From Mrs. Yates's tone, she sounded skeptical, but that she may believe them.

I had had it. I stormed over to the circ desk, said sternly "If you're going to lie about me, then have the courtesy not to do it while I'm in the same room!" to Serena, ran into the back bathroom, and began to cry. I had been putting up with their insults, their lewd comments, their constant prodding, their disturbing questions (They kept asking me about my sex life and if I was a virgin. It makes me uncomfortable, mostly because these are the kinds of girls that like to see you squirm and who will use any information you give them to make you feel even smaller.), and their flashing. I finally broke. Give me a break. I haven't cried at school in a while.

After I reemerged from the bathroom, Mrs. Yates came back and asked me my side. I told her and she believed me. Now here's the part that made me mad. Earlier this year, I used her email to try and help a student. The consequence? Removal of most of my privileges for the rest of the month. And last week Mrs. Yates fired a girl from one of her other classes for bad work. What do these girls and Pothead get for A) doing absolutely no work for the past three quarters, B) harassing me, C) disrespecting a patron of the library, D) misusing school property, and E) framing me for antagonizing a student when in reality I had been the only one who had helped him?

They get a small lecture - not even two minutes long - on how we all need to "work together or else we'll fall apart". WHAT THE @%%$&^@%&*^%&^@(^*^&#$%*^!%(*^@#(&%@*^%#(&^@(^@*^%@#(&#()^@*&%@(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! THIS IS THE KIND OF CRAP YOU GIVE LITTLE FOUR-YEAR-OLDS WHO ARE FIGHTING OVER A TOY! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL WITH DESTRUCTIVE TEENAGED LOAFERS!

I was so frustrated, to put it lightly. After school, I just broke again. I told Ernie, Todd, Claire, and Joseph what happened and I cried again. Ernie and Claire group hugged me. I don't know about Todd and Joseph. And then when I finished crying, I asked Joseph to hold my backpack up in front of him, which he did, and I beat the snot out of it. My knuckles are still red and painful. And I want to cry again. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Mrs. Yates. I don't know what I'm going to say yet...


Hugz
HM

Friday, March 4, 2011

Can't Make Up My Mind

Greetings.


Anyone ever notice how indecisive I am? I know it's kind of self-centered to bring this up, but I am. I can't make a solid decision on anything. I have no favorite movie, song, artist, actor/actress, manga series, nothing! Well, okay, NOTHING may be a bit too harsh, I have SOME things that I have decided for sure. Like, for instance, I made up what I wanted to do for the next twenty years of my life. Everything; where I want to live, who I want to marry, where I want to work, when I want to have kids, their names, everything. (Actually, I have a LONG list of names to sift through, but I have it kind of narrowed down. Second thought, forget I mentioned it.) Also, I have decided that my favorite author is Meg Cabot. Her books are vivid, clever, have a brazen heroine, and ALWAYS have a happy ending.

I DETEST sad endings or anti-climactic endings in a book. LOATHE them. DESPISE them. I just got done reading a great book, until I got to the end. It's called HOW TO SAY GOODBYE IN ROBOT.

Off track. But that just illustrated my point! I can't even pick a topic to stick to! Sweet crispy cinnamon rolls, I need some sort of help!


Hugz
HM

Monday, February 28, 2011

Life... And What We Must Put Up With In It

Greetings.


Life sucks. Anyone else notice this? Of course you do, who hasn't? That's the harder question. Right now, I am going to give you a few tips on how to live life. Or not. It all depends on you. (That's not the first tip, but you can take it or leave it.)

1) If you're happy now, keep being happy for as long as you can. Example: Claire and Jean-Luc broke up again earlier today, 2/28. I don't know if I told you all or not but Jean-Luc dumped Claire in January so he could date another girl (DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!) and I was pissed. Claire was depressed, I could tell, despite her facade. She can't fool me. And I don't care if I get reamed out by her for this, but I have to say it: she should not have taken him back. He started dating Lizzie Gomez LESS THAN A WEEK after he and she broke up. I really was pissed, as were most of her friends, especially Ernie and William. (Moral I could care less about.) Well, about a month ago, she took him back. And earlier today, they broke up again. Why? "It was inevitable" was pretty much the only valid reason she gave me. THAT'S NUTS! That's like saying, "It's inevitable that we're all going to die, so why don't we all go kill ourselves?" BE HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU CAN, UNLESS IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT AN OPTION, BE FRICKING HAPPY.

2) Expect the unexpected.

3) Learn when to stop. Example: Joseph was in our theater troupe's performance of PINOCCHIO and boy was he the cutest Gepetto that ever walked the earth. He was also the only one with an Italian accent. Well, for some reason, Joseph doesn't like to sing, or at least he only sings "when he feels like it". But he sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" at the end of the show with the rest of the cast and I could hear him because his microphone was up. Now, I hounded this all day at lunch today, singing lines from the song in a helium voice so he would try to gag me, smush my face, and get play mad at me in general. I can tell when he's really mad; no one is safe. But when he's play mad - which means he's really enjoying the attention that I give him, but I'm still kind of annoying him, a talent I have - he does things like try to stop me. I know when to stop. Usually it's after the chorus, but today I was tired so I quit early. ;)

4) Laugh. At EVERY opportunity. It's a blessing to laugh, a release. It's better than blogging. Ha ha. Here's the last one.

5) Learn how to say goodbye and hello. This is the lesson I have the most problems with. I can't say goodbye. I still have BARBIES from when I was three. I am a pack rat, but that's not really what I mean. Here's the example: Allyson, my hero and my oldest friend, is leaving, going 1,200 miles southwest to a little-not-so-little college called USC. Now, I hardly see her as is, what with her supremely busy schedule. But I can't fly 1200 miles to dye Easter eggs, exchange birthday/Christmas presents (by the way, yes, I still have her Christmas presents), go trick-or-treating, or just hang out and talk with her. She is my guiding light, my Clarence the Angel, my Jiminy Cricket. And now I have to say goodbye for God knows how long. There isn't much here in East Westerfield to bring her back and I'm planning on staying here. What am I going to do? I am terrible with goodbyes; I blubber worse than a baby. And now I'm going to have to say goodbye to Allyson Vivian Clay, who is practically my sister, for I don't know how long.

And you know what scares me the most? I'm scared that she, and all of my other friends - Joseph, Bennie, Joss, Claire - will go away and never come back for me.

Okay, I have GOT to stop now. I'm crying.


Hugz
HM