One Week

Greetings.


Well, it's exactly one week from my birthday. Major psychage. I'll be seventeen. It's weird; the teen years are supposed to be definitive, a special event every year. 13: you're officially a teen. 14: you enter high school. 15: you get your permit. 16: you get your license. 18: you're an adult and you can vote. But 17 isn't as special or marked by something fascinating. Maybe it's the year where you can transport minors in California, but I don't know about other states. 17 is what I have dubbed the "blah year". Some of us graduate high school that year, and that's something, but the majority is 18.

Either way, it's one week away from my "blah year". I wonder what presents I'll get. All of my friends know this about me: I'm as impatient to get presents as I am to give them. I love giving presents as much as I love getting them. Christmas is an emotional overload for me, don't even get me started. But my birthday... it kind of lacks the joy I get for giving presents too. It's weird really. Luckily, Nana's birthday is three days before mine and cousin Ginger's is three days before Nana's. So I have SOME gift-giving opportunities. The problem: I never know what to get Ginger. She's flamboyant, larger than life, and provocative in her own way. She's awesome and I love her but because we have such different personalities, I never know what to give her. Nana is easy: art supplies, rom-coms, and Liam Neeson. (ha ha. Maybe i was thinking wishfully. I know I wouldn't mind Liam for MY birthday. I <3 British accents and Qui-Gon Jin. I'm a goner.)

But I don't know... maybe it's because "blah year" is coming, I am not as excited for my birthday as I usually am. I was reluctant to have a party, most likely because I hate seeing how many people don't care if they come or not (see "What Should I Do...?" from 5/19/10), and I just... don't feel it anymore. You know? That wonderful birthday vibe that kids exude naturally and a self-conscious women turning thirty has to fake. Maybe I'm worried about getting older. You know how, when you're a kid, you want to grow up?

WHAT WERE WE THINKING?

The future frightens me, and a birthday is just a stepping stone to that fear, I guess. But the presents help. =)


Hugz
HM