Greetings.
As I described in "My Love Life Part Two: Freddy Ackerby", Freddy broke my heart into a thousand miniscule pieces and sent me into a spiral of depression, causing me to seek solace in food products and gain 40 pounds.
And now he's dating my sister Joss. (I'm not worried about the fat part; she's got the best metabolism in the world, matched only by her new boyfriend.)
Let me explain. I had my AP English Language and Composition test today. (Every school in the nation who offers that class did.) I got to school that morning with the remnants of a terrible nightmare (my physics teacher, Mr. Reuben, revealed, during our final exam, that he was a cannibal by taking a member of the class into the room next door and splitting them with the Bennie's physics teacher, Mr. Graves. I finished my exam and then bolted out of the classroom, making sure to grab Bennie on the way. Then we ran by Joss and Joseph's classroom, bolted to my car, and drove FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away.) and what was left of the review my English class had gone over the previous day. And then, when I got to the table that Bennie, Joss, Stan, Claire, her friends, Chase Fuller, Ernie Rodham, Louisa Tyler, and Kira Pulliam, and I share in the mornings to find that Joss and Bennie were discussing me. Weird. But not as weird as them revealing that Joss, indeed, was dating Freddy. The irony: I was just laughing at the impossibility of that happening (like seriously rolling on the floor laughing, so not kidding) yesterday with our friends in choir.
That kept me nice and distracted during the AP exam. Not a good thing to be distracted during. But the test was SO easy that I finished it easily and I think I may get at least a 4. So, no big. (10/1/10: I got a 5, by the way)
At lunch, though, I kept feeling as if I wanted to cry. I had to sit NEXT TO THEM. They had linked arms. They were being... well... the same way he and I were sophomore year. I couldn't take it. As soon as I finished lunch, I beat a hasty retreat to my Spanish teacher, Señor de Soto's, room, given that that was my next class. Even though I was ten minutes early. (AP test, a morning thing, had let out halfway through lunch.)
I know Freddy isn't mine. He hasn't been mine for over a year now. But... He was the first guy I truly cared about. More than Aaron. He was the first guy to truly appreciate me. Call me beautiful. Treat me special. Ignore the fact that I was physically imperfect and try to get to know the real me. The first to truly break my heart. And it still hurts. There's a bruise on my heart. I thought it had gone away... But the memory of how he treated me is still there. And now he's got Joss. What if he does the same thing to her? I threatened him, in a way.
I looked up at him (he's six-six, I'm five-five) and said, "If you break her heart the same way you broke mine, your stepmother will look like Mother Teresa because I will be on you like a John Deere riding mower on grass. You are no longer my priority. Joss is. And if you hurt her in ANY way, make her cry at ANY time, I swear, there will be Hell to pay."
I guess I did threaten him. Oh well. He deserved it.
On the bright side, I had an interview at Jamba Juice and it went pretty well. I may get the job. More details to follow.
Hugz
HM
Showing posts with label Freddy Ackerby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Freddy Ackerby. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My Love Life Part Two: Freddy Ackerby
Greetings.
Onward into my life.
Freddy Ackerby and I met when I transferred to Bennie's school. He had just transferred there too. He gazed on me from afar (I looked better back then) and developed a crush on me. The feeling was not returned.
Freshman year, he was alone. So I invited him to sit at the table with Bennie, Joseph, and I. Now, Bennie and Joseph had just met themselves and now I was adding a SUPER tall gawky relative stranger into the mix. I was asking for trouble. But surprisingly none came. Freddy and Joseph (whom I have known for approximately six years) hit it off imeediately with their shared love of sci-fi and video games. Bennie and Joseph got along when he wasn't reading, Freddy and she got along well, and I was feeling very proud of myself. Then Bennie asked the dreaded question: "Do you still like Harmony Margaret?" she asked one day. Freddy looked straight at me and said, "Yes." I was flattered, but I still was head-over-heels for Aaron. Or so I thought.
April Fool's Day, I kissed him on the cheek as a dare. (I think Bennie still has the video...) That sparked a revelation: I liked Freddy. He was sweet, tall, smart but lazy, funny, caring. The ideal TEENAGED guy. We bonded over the summer. I went away for my job like I had been doing since I was eleven and he came over every time I came home for the day. He called me every day. He asked me to homecoming. I was in heaven. I liked him and he liked me. I loved the attention, the first romantic attention I had ever gotten. It was bliss. Short-lived bliss, at any rate.
Around late September, it started crumbling. He told me that he had developed feelings for Bennie and that he wanted to ask her to winter formal. I was crushed. (Thank God she said no.) He came later that day, apologized, and asked me to go. I said yes but I wanted to be left alone. (It wasn't going to happen; Joseph and Bennie came and found us. Bennie was very worried and Joseph, despite his robotic demeanor, was even concerned.)
Then on October 7th, Bentley and soon-to-be-best-friend/sister Joss's birthday, he sat me down and said he didn't like me like that anymore. I was brave. That whole day I was in shock. I felt nothing. Then the next morning I crashed. I cried and cried and cried and cried all morning. Bennie, Aaron, Claire, and a few others tried to console me. Freddy said he didn't know why I was being so crazy. It hurt. He smashed my heart, my vulnerable first-love heart into little tiny pieces and he didn't know what he had done wrong. I wanted to hit him.
He got a girlfriend later in late November, early December. And I got a boyfriend a few days after the incident. (Find out more in Part Three: Victor Hausen.) I guess we're still friends. I don't hate him. But on October 7th, every year, I will remind him how he hurt me. At least, until the pain goes away...
To be continued.
Hugz
HM
Onward into my life.
Freddy Ackerby and I met when I transferred to Bennie's school. He had just transferred there too. He gazed on me from afar (I looked better back then) and developed a crush on me. The feeling was not returned.
Freshman year, he was alone. So I invited him to sit at the table with Bennie, Joseph, and I. Now, Bennie and Joseph had just met themselves and now I was adding a SUPER tall gawky relative stranger into the mix. I was asking for trouble. But surprisingly none came. Freddy and Joseph (whom I have known for approximately six years) hit it off imeediately with their shared love of sci-fi and video games. Bennie and Joseph got along when he wasn't reading, Freddy and she got along well, and I was feeling very proud of myself. Then Bennie asked the dreaded question: "Do you still like Harmony Margaret?" she asked one day. Freddy looked straight at me and said, "Yes." I was flattered, but I still was head-over-heels for Aaron. Or so I thought.
April Fool's Day, I kissed him on the cheek as a dare. (I think Bennie still has the video...) That sparked a revelation: I liked Freddy. He was sweet, tall, smart but lazy, funny, caring. The ideal TEENAGED guy. We bonded over the summer. I went away for my job like I had been doing since I was eleven and he came over every time I came home for the day. He called me every day. He asked me to homecoming. I was in heaven. I liked him and he liked me. I loved the attention, the first romantic attention I had ever gotten. It was bliss. Short-lived bliss, at any rate.
Around late September, it started crumbling. He told me that he had developed feelings for Bennie and that he wanted to ask her to winter formal. I was crushed. (Thank God she said no.) He came later that day, apologized, and asked me to go. I said yes but I wanted to be left alone. (It wasn't going to happen; Joseph and Bennie came and found us. Bennie was very worried and Joseph, despite his robotic demeanor, was even concerned.)
Then on October 7th, Bentley and soon-to-be-best-friend/sister Joss's birthday, he sat me down and said he didn't like me like that anymore. I was brave. That whole day I was in shock. I felt nothing. Then the next morning I crashed. I cried and cried and cried and cried all morning. Bennie, Aaron, Claire, and a few others tried to console me. Freddy said he didn't know why I was being so crazy. It hurt. He smashed my heart, my vulnerable first-love heart into little tiny pieces and he didn't know what he had done wrong. I wanted to hit him.
He got a girlfriend later in late November, early December. And I got a boyfriend a few days after the incident. (Find out more in Part Three: Victor Hausen.) I guess we're still friends. I don't hate him. But on October 7th, every year, I will remind him how he hurt me. At least, until the pain goes away...
To be continued.
Hugz
HM
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