Welcome Back, Kotter

Greetings.


I'm just messing around with the title, guys. My name is not now, nor has it ever been, Kotter. I was just commenting on how long it's been since I have posted a blog. And truthfully, I missed it so much. It's so very therapeutic. I love it! The reason I haven't been on recently is because at the Sheraton, where the Gaming Convention (WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!) was held, made you pay for Internet in the rooms and I was usually in one of the ballrooms which only has Internet with a password. So, basically, no Internet. Which also meant that I had, like, 20 updates on Facebook and seventy billion emails. And I missed talking to Ally... Wah... I still have her birthday presents!

Anyways, I am having a birthday party and its another one of those pool party dealios with all of my friends. I wish I could think of something better, but as a consolation, we're watching ALICE IN WONDERLAND while we eat so YAY!!!!!!!! It's in my top 3 for Favorite Fantasies, the other two being THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE and HELLBOY. (omg, Hellboy is so smexy! I love him! I'm weird, get over it.) The LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy occupies slots 4, 5, and 6, btw. (Also, I'd like to point out that two of the INUYASHA movies, AFFECTIONS TOUCHING ACROSS TIME and THE CASTLE BEYOND THE LOOKING GLASS are my numbers 4 and 5 slots for animated. I LOVE INUYASHA!!!!)

Wow, I got way off track. So, birthday. I don't know when exactly I'm going to have it, but definitely on my birthweek... I'm worried that it'll coincide with rehearsal for ALICE IN WONDERLAND, for which I got the QUEEN OF HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!! (...omg, did I seriously just say "Yahoo"???????) And I'm so psyched to be seventeen. I can finally buy Joseph BIOSHOCK 2. ... Wow, that's a really lame reason. Also, in October, I can transport minors. Bennie, Joss, and I have plans to go get Bennie's hair cut and donated to Locks for Love and I'm treating them to mani-pedis.

I can't wait to be seventeen!


Hugz
HM

Gaming Convention

Greetings.


I am in a good mood for the first time in a while. That stupid thing with Joaquin and Dillon blew over. Dillon's just a ginormous idiot and I can't wait to squish him like a bug. I'm getting my Horizon High yearbook tomorrow. SO psyched. However, tomorrow's good mood will be marred by a (ugh) rally seventh period. I'm so tired of rallies. JUST LET THE YEAR BE OVER ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I finished my choir final project all by myself. I edited everything, even made a DVD menu. EEEEEK sooooo excited! Freddy, Joss, Chase, and Bennie will be so proud of me and Mr. Privett... well he may not LOVE it, but we'll get an A. Also, Señor de Soto's study guide for the final that I've been procrastinating on is finally done! Yay fear! (He came around and checked them. I finished two pages in five minutes. Tell me that breaks a world record.)

But the main reason for my good mood is this: DAD AND I ARE GOING TO LOS ANGELES TOMORROW FOR THE GAMING CONVENTION, THE VACATION THAT I LIVE AND BREATHE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!! Three days of pretty much nonstop gaming. Bentley, Bev, and Dad all love Yosemite, but I'm pretty indoorsy, especially in the winter, which is when they all want to go to Yosemite... Skiing holds no allure for me, I can't snowboard, and ice skating hurts after a while. But The Con (which is what everyone who goes there calls it) is my Heaven. I sit around, trounce people at games, and see my friend Dan O'Hare. He's kind of an older guy, late forties, early fifties, who works in LA as an interpreter for the deaf and a track coach. We hang out the whole time. I spend a lot of quality time with my daddy too. Bev always complains that we always fight. We don't ALWAYS fight. Leave us alone long enough, we'll come out alive. We cooperate best alone. However, the part I'm dreading is him making me drive most of the way down... (shudder) LA traffic, no thank you.

Oh, well, I am SO psyched. No rally is going to get in the way of my weekend.


Hugz
HM

Bliss

Greetings.


I am in total bliss right now. I just spent three and a half hours at Joseph's house, two of which we spent watching YouTube. I went over there to deliver Mrs. Morton's birthday present (THE HOST by Stephenie Meyer) and she loved it and I wound up staying WAY longer than I planned. We ate leftover pizza, I watched him play a new video game, "Alan Wake", which is actually pretty interesting, and then we went into his dad's office and watched everything he could think of. Like this one thing, "Civil Protection"... oh, MAN, it is HILARIOUS!!!! I mean, the guy who does this is a genius. He takes Half Life 2 and he turns it into a comedy show starring two patrolmen, Mike and Dave. So. Funny.

Also, Joseph introduced me to this a cappella group, Straight No Chaser, who are AMAZING. I mean, I love a cappella groups, like Voice Male and The Voca People (I think they're so funny), but these guys... wow. Just wow.

But that's not even the highlight. Joseph and I were being all flirty and pokey and our knees touched a lot and I loved it. We used each other as foot rests. It was funny. And sort of not... It was wonderful. Definitely. Like I said, bliss.


Hugz
HM

Dillon Xavier: Satan's Spawn

Greetings.


Dillon Xavier derives some sort of sick pleasure in tormenting me. I have a Facebook account and I "liked" one of Joaquin Valdez's statuses. You remember Joaquin, the guy I lost the VP election to here at Horizon High School? Well, he's one of the most POPULAR, and for good reason, guys at the school. And Dillon, just because I liked his status thingy, is calling me his girlfriend. I swear, that fool is tripping on acid. Ever since freshman year in first period when he first laid eyes on me, he has made it his mission to make my life Hell. He teases me, he calls me names, he's sexist, he's misogynistic, he's selfish and he's got an ego larger than our national debt. He doesn't know when to stop. One time, freshman year, when our teacher was taking a call from the office in Spanish class, he and Tim Schreader deliberately got out one of those Spanish to English dictionaries and started calling me every single filthy, insulting, and vulgar names they could find. I had had it; I burst into tears, ran out of the room, and straight to the library, where I was safe. The Spanish teacher, Sra. Santos, made them apologize, in English and Spanish, verbally and written, in front of the whole class the next day. I liked that.

But seriously, he is possibly the one human being on this Earth that I truly, truly loathe and despise. Now, in my case, loathe and hate are different. Hate, there are people I hate, like Ian and Tim, whom I just wish horrible things would happen to. But loathe and despise, for me, are far worse. Loathing is consuming and it makes me want to hurt the person I loathe. I wish for terrible, awful things to happen to him, and I cannot help it. Nor, when I am so angry that I want to rip something in two, can it be stopped. Normally, I have enough self-control not to hurt anything living. But I will take him out one day if he ticks me off bad enough. And then... no one, not even Joseph, (well maybe if Joseph kisses me) will be able to stop me. That's how much I loathe Dillon Xavier.


Hugz
HM

Broke Month

Greetings.


Mrs. Morton's birthday was today. Joseph's was a little over a week ago. Ally's is tomorrow. I swear when I am out on my own supporting myself, May is going to be my official broke month. Seriously, aside from January, which is Bev, Aunt Gertie, Josie, AND Jeremy's birthdays, May is my most financially draining birthday month. Plus, there's Mother's Day! AUGH!!!!

I got four hours of sleep last night. So I am going to bed early. Like, seriously, now. I just don't feel right going to sleep without writing SOMETHING in my blog. Good night.

Hugz
HM

A Day with My Mom

Greetings.


Yesterday I spent pretty much the entire day with Bev, my mom. Bev likes it when I call her Bev because it makes her feel younger, which is silly because she's only 43 and that's not SUPER old, you know? She used to be a model back when she was younger. In fact, she and Dad met when he was a reporter for "People Magazine" and he was at a fashion show benefit she was modeling at. (Now he's a journalism teacher. Where's the justice in that?) But the company she was a model for went under about a month after Bentley was born. In fact, she named us Harmony Margaret Juniper Leeann Heloise Walker-Lowell and Bartholomew Horatio Montgomery Walker-Lowell just because she wanted us to be distinguishable as the children of a model. I think she was the one who started the trend of celebrities naming your kid weird things. Well, her and that dude who named his daughter Moon Unit, Frank Zappa. Now she's a personal shopper for Chico's.

Anyways, yesterday we spent the entire day together. Dad took Bentley down to his acting class and so Bev and I had the house to ourselves. We went out to Famous Dave's, one of our favorite places to go when we have the house to ourselves, and we had fun. Then we went to go get Ally's birthday present at Kohl's (I'm not putting what i got her because I KNOW she's going to read this) and we went a little overboard. Bev's a cool mom; she doesn't care that I'm overweight, except maybe in the health department, when it comes to buying clothes except for when we find this absolutely adorable shirt or something and it doesn't fit right. Bev's the kind of lady that everything fits right onto and I know it bums her out when we shop. Like we saw this beautiful leisure dress and I couldn't get it because it didn't fit right. She wasn't happy. She hates it when I see something I love and I can't buy it because it doesn't fit. And this is especially disappointing to a former model. For obvious reasons.

Well, either way, we had fun. And I FINALLY found an Abbey Dawn shirt that fits me! So, yay!


Hugz
HM

Life's Most Important Lesson

Greetings.


Well, you know how you do silly things with your friends that you probably wouldn't do with people you don't know as well? Well, Pete Sanders is the supreme king of such things. He is weird; his favorite silly, yet creepy, thing to do is to place his hand under the table and squeeze Lucky, Joss, and Joseph's knees. Just those three because those are the three that always sit near him. On one side of the table is usually Pete, Emma, Joss, and Bennie or Freddy. On the other side is Lucky, Joseph, me, and Bennie when Freddy joins us. We share a booth that really should only accommodate six people but no one listens to the squished big girl. Well anyways, Pete was squeezing their knees again and it was particularly annoying Joseph, who sits next to me on my left. He told Pete that he was going to leave and that I would not be happy and kill him (Pete), and I so would. Joseph even let me grab onto his shoulders as my way of saying "Make him leave and die, Pete" and "Please don't go, Joseph". But of course, Pete being the butthead he is, he won't stop. So Joseph turns to me and says, "Please make him stop." I kid you not; I'm like his bodyguard. Well, in this case, more like his poke shield. So I told Pete to stop, but he didn't, so Joseph turned to me and whispered, "Give him incentive to stop." I smiled; the guy I love was giving me permission to beat the hell out of a guy I don't care whether or not I beat up. I was happy. So I looked Pete directly in the eyes and said, "Touch him one more time and I swear, I'll make you eat your math book." (And our books are over 1100 pages!) His eyes got wide, because he knew I meant it. And he stopped. I'm proud of myself. Pete doesn't usually listen to people.

But pretty much my whole school knows not to tick me off; once sophomore year, (it was after school) The Three Stooges, Dillon Xavier, Tim Schraeder, and Ian Randall, came up to me, Bennie, Joss, and Joseph, and started being obscenely rude to Bennie and Joss. They were making jokes about both Bennie and Joss's physicality, Joss's nationality (like I said before, she's from South Korea), and they even were abusing Joseph and me. I saw the look of terror in Joseph's eyes (he was almost sexually molested freshman year by these two guys whom he had known since sixth grade and who have always had him on the chopping block; luckily I intervened in time and I got them both suspended) and Bennie looked like she was about to cry and Joss looked angry but, given that she's as big around as my pinky, she couldn't stand up to them. So I got up from where I was sitting and said to the Stooges, "Hey, guys, I wanna show you something." So I took all of them to the gym; my P.E. teacher had left the kickboxing bags out. I told them to imagine that the bags (heavily padded and anchored to the ground by over fifty pounds of sand in a hollow stand) were them. They sneered and said okay. I took off my shoes, walked up to a row of three of the bags, and proceeded to demonstrate. I roundhouse kicked the first one; it fell over. The second one I punched twice, once where Tim's nose would be and the other where his ... would be; that one fell over as well. The third one I pretended was Dillon, who had been the most aggressive toward my friends, I performed a spinning kick where his face would be; the bag fell over and rolled away, hitting the wall. I turned back to my assailants and my friends; Ian, Dillon, and Tim stood there open-mouthed. Joss, Bennie, and Joseph were smiling at me. I walked up to the Stooges, got right up in their faces, and said, really quiet and scary-like, "Now, are you going to bother my friends again?"

I have never seen three athletic and self-proclaimedly macho guys shuffle out of a gym so fast. It just goes to show one thing, Life's Most Important Lesson: No matter who you are, be you Steve Urkel or Chuck Norris, you NEVER mess with Harmony Margaret Walker's friends.


Hugz
HM

Senior Schedule

Greetings.


Well, I can safely say that I don't think my senior year is going to go like I planned. My schedule that I had personally planned had gone as follows: 12AP English, Gov/Econ CP, Spanish 4AP, Concert Choir, Teacher Aide, Library Science Aide. My ideal year. I was so psyched. It was what I had been waiting all of high school for.

Apparently, I can't have two aide periods. My counselor said I had to pick another elective or take another year of (gulp) math. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's like making George W. Bush think! I hate it! SO now I have several options, most of which I hate and the other little bit I can only tolerate. Treble (beginning women's) Choir; more chances of a solo, however, it's blindingly easy so it's boring and I'd have no friends in there. Forensics; I hate memorization but both Stan and Claire would most likely be there. Period off; I could still help my librarian, Mrs. Yates, but i want credits. Screenwriting; I wouldn't mind doing it but I am unsure if the film teacher is having that class next year and again no friends. Math; DEFINITELY NOT. Art; Bev says I'd be miserable but I doodle when I'm bored in class. But the only thing I'm good at is close-ups of people's hands.

I so want to cry. I really wanted to help both Mrs. Shikomu and Mrs. Yates. My counselor says that she'll ask around to see if I can do both. I pray that I can. It's my ideal schedule. Sigh... On the plus side today, I won my first game of BS. Joseph was a sore loser; he was one card away from winning himself and he was sitting right next to me. He poked me in the side and we did a quick round of Poke Wars. (squeal)


Hugz
HM

Helping Others

Greetings.


I cannot frankly say that Roland Patrick Glibb is the greatest of thinkers. He got "married" to Bennie (for Cinco de Mayo, just FYI) last year. And he hasn't talked to her in weeks. He met my cousin Ginger once last year. And then they dated even when she went back to Roswell, New Mexico. He had a girlfriend, who is two and a half years younger than him, for a year and a half. The problem: she lived in NORTH CAROLINA. He's now living with his current girlfriend, Veronika "Ronnie" DeLuca. I am at a loss for words. I have no idea why we're friends.

And yet, he always treats me well. He considers me his little sister. He visits me at home sometimes. He works full time for a carpet cleaning service, he does independent studies, and he still manages to find time to visit me. It's very sweet.

The reason I mention him is that Dad and I just had to bail him, Ronnie, and six of his friends out. They ran out of gas about two miles from our house so Dad and I got them gas. (We still had to drive to the gas station and I can't drive after eleven so I couldn't do it. I would have though.) Roland is so sweet; he promised to pay my dad back and he was very courteous to him. I was very proud of him. But poor Dad, he's so tired now, he just fell asleep with his clothes on. He was about to sleep before Roland called. I apologized to him the whole ride there. But I pointed out the bright side; I told him they just added a jacuzzi to his mansion in Heaven. =) ha ha.


Hugz
HM

What Should I Do...?

Greetings.


Well, here's the time of year I both dread and anticipate the most: my birthday. It's in less than three weeks. Ally's is in less than a week. And I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do. For the past six or seven years, we've had a pool party, barbecued, watched a movie, and opened presents. Easy-peasy, right? But I'm so bored of my birthday. I want to do something I've never done for my birthday this year. Mostly because my past birthdays have been a disaster.

For my fifteenth one, the first person to arrive was over an hour late. It was Joseph. But the thing is no one called to say, "Hey, we're running late." For a whole hour and twenty-two minutes, I thought everyone had forgotten my birthday. I was sitting in my living room with my bathing suit on and sitting in the armchair facing the door. I sat like that, not doing anything else (except cry after the first fifty-five minutes) for an hour and twenty-two minutes. It was awful. I thought the people that I loved most in the world had forgotten me. And then, when the people did show up, only half came and Bennie and I were the only girls. (Not a total loss.) It was Bennie, Joseph, Roland, Freddy, Pauley, Jake, Bentley, Bentley's best friend Toby Brunstedt, and I. That was it. I still had fun, I guess. But I was so very hurt. Everyone RSVP'd that they were coming...

For my sixteenth, we had the pool party, but Claire couldn't make it and we found out that my cousin, Ginger Overstreet, was coming a day late. So it was me, Joesph, Bennie, Pauley, Roland, Nate (I had invited him before we broke up and Bev made me let him come), Toby, Bentley, Joss, Ally, and Colleen. (Ally and Colleen came for about half an hour. Or was that my fourteenth? I forget...) I enjoyed myself. I love my friends. And then on my actual birthday, Bev took Claire, Ginger (who had arrived the day before), and I to Six Flags. I got whatever I wanted because Bev knew that I was really hurt that a lot of the people I invited didn't come again. (koff koff Aaron koff koff Remy koff koff)

But now... what to do? Ally has been pestering me for forever about meeting Joseph (he's the only one of my best friends/sisters she hasn't met yet) and I have been pestering her for forever about finally making it to one of my birthday parties. So we figure we combine the two. But the question is how? I don't like GOING to the movies. (But I like movies at home. I like subtitles. So sue me. But if were up to Bentley, he would.) I figured an enormous dinner or something like that would be good... or bowling. I haven't been bowling in years... Or ice skating. But I don't know if Joseph would like that... He's very picky and stubborn, even when it comes to activities. Uuuuuuuugggggghhhh what do I do? I want all of my friends to come: Pauley, Ally, Colleen, Bentley, Claire, Bennie, Joss, Toby (Bev and Dad make us invite one of the other's friends to birthday parties so they aren't alone), Joseph, and Jake. But I know Jake can't come; he moved out of town a year ago... I cry when I think about him too much. He was one of my best friends. And I don't know about Roland...

Help me!


Hugz
HM

Mood Swings and Sadie Hawkins

Greetings.

You know how guys are always complaining about us girls and our mood swings? Well guess what: We have our reasons to be moody. I have observed several times that guys just don't take in what's around them. They, unfortunately, don't communicate or conversate unless their wives/fiancés/girlfriends have them trained like that piano-playing cat. Girls, on the other hand, take in too much. We notice details, listen, converse at twice the speed of light. We baffle our male counterparts. And we have mood swings because we absorb so much.
Mood swings are very common for me. I'm a level one bipolar. It means I can go from happy to sad in milliseconds. I mean, you could say a single sentence and I fall apart. Or you could say, "Nice hair, HM," and I get all happy. I noticed this during second period choir. Joss, Bennie, Chase, and I were playing BS and I was in one hell of a bad mood. And then out of nowhere, I felt really good. And then as soon as Joss mentioned Freddy and the fact that Saturday is the Sadie Hawkins dance, I got all depressed again. Joss, who is going with Freddy, wants Bennie to go with Stan and for me to go with someone. I don't have anyone and I don't want to go stag. Heck, I don't really want to go at all. When you're an overweight white girl who can't dance unless she has her eyes closed or unless someone has given her the choreography, dances are in the Top 10 Places You Never Want to Set Foot In. Besides, I'd prefer if they did their double date alone. When I had Nate or Vic or Wayne, I hope I didn't brag too much. I mean, they didn't go to my school so the only way to keep them with me was to talk about them, but now I'm on the other side and I really hate it. What's worse, there's two of them and I'm the only one left out. Mind you, I know who I want to ask to Sadie Hawkins. But Joseph hates dancing and pop music and basically everything at a dance.
I am so screwed. More as my psychomania develops.

Hugz
HM

Fans, or the Lack Thereof

Greetings.

I'm sitting here, watching JULIE AND JULIA, and wondering to myself, "Who on Earth is actually READING this?" It's exactly like Julie (Amy Adams) put it; I feel like I'm just sending it out into some sort of void. I mean, I know Ally reads it and Claire reads it from time to time but... that's it! That's absolutely it, that I know of. I know I do this because it's therapeutic. Heck yes, it's therapeutic, I get to whine on my own time and there isn't a force in Hell that can stop me because it is MY blog, MINE!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahakoffkoffkoffkoffkoffhack hack hack koff... yeah, even blog evil laughs take a lot out of you...
But... it would be nice to know, you know, that I'm not alone. One other person in the world who has a Mary June Laramie or a Nate Peck or a Joseph Matthew Morton or even a Freddy-Joss situation... Sometimes, I feel like I can't feel myself anymore... I feel like a different person. I don't know. I feel really like Harmony Margaret Walker's clone or someone else WATCHING my life. This blog helps... But it's lonely sometimes. Cathartic, but lonely.
Nothing especially exciting happened today. Dad sentenced me to job hunting from the time I got out of school, which is 2:30, until 5. Two and a half hours of driving around town looking for something that isn't there. Do you have any idea how much GAS alone that is? Sigh... I spent two and a half hours today alone in my Kermit for what? More job rejections. I haven't heard back from Jamba Juice, you know how I interviewed there last week. If you don't, I interviewed there last week. Twice. They seemed to like me...
But I was alone for two and a half hours, just me and Kermit and I realized something: I only like being alone SOME of the time. Mind you, while my baby Kermit makes a decent enough companion, let's face it, he isn't much of a talker. You know what I really wanted to do? I wanted to ditch all of that and barge in to Joseph's house. I didn't want to go home because I knew if I came home early it would be another fight with my dad and I'd be over at Nana and Gramps's house again. I didn't want to stay out, but I had no choice. I really just wanted to be with friends, Joseph specifically because I knew he would be home... I wanted to sit in Kermit and cry because I felt alone. Is that strange? A young woman sitting in her car, crying. I feel silly just thinking about it.
But you know... perhaps this alone thing isn't as bad as I think it is. Maybe people are reading and they just haven't commented. How would I know? (No one answer that.) So I'll keep writing. If for no one's sake but my own.

Hugz
Harmony Margaret Walker

Fine Cinema

Greetings.

Ha ha ha ha ha!! I can't believe you fell for the title...
Nothing really exciting happened today. I mean, I watched movies, INUYASHA: AFFECTIONS TOUCHING ACROSS TIME, THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, and the "As Told By Ginger" special FAR FROM HOME, and I had dinner with Nana and Gramps and Bentley and Dad and Bev. But today I wish to discuss my favorite movies.
I separate my favorite movies by genre. As I have said before, THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN is my favorite action movie, ADDICTED TO LOVE is my fave rom-com, BATMAN FOREVER and BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT are my favorite superhero movies (I consider those different than action because they have formerly-established characters), and the newer ALICE IN WONDERLAND is my favorite fantasy movie. But there are three movies tied for my favorite animated movie: PONYO, CORALINE, and THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. PONYO is a fantastically made movie. They say it's a rip-off of THE LITTLE MERMAID, but it's actually a retelling of the original Hans Christian Andersen and an opera. And, unlike the Disney version, it's not based on appearance and short term love. This movie is based on the purest kind of love: the love of a child, which is exactly what Ponyo and Sosuke (the prince) are.
CORALINE is a well-developed stop-animated movie. There are intriguing characters, like the Cat, Wybie, and Other Mother, psychological analysis, and a true hero. Coraline is a realistic girl who feels unloved by her workaholic parents, especially her sharp-tongued callous mother. So she escaped to the Other World where she receives everything she ever wanted. Unfortunately, that paradise is short-lived when she realizes that Other Mother wants to consume her life. It's a complicated movie. Some say it's creepy, but I find it fascinating.
But the movie I watch over and over again and not ONCE has it gotten old is THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I watch it every Christmas, Halloween, and my birthday. It's an amazing concept. I don't think anyone has ever gone inside the different holidays before, though the SANTA CLAUS movies come very close. Jack is the most endearing dead guy and Sally is... peculiar. I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to do anything and not get hurt and, when injured, sew yourself back together? Evel Kinevel would KILL for that extra security. And the songs... so catchy! I mean, I could sing "The Oogie Boogie Song" for days. I just love the movie.
It has occurred to me that I like almost every single Tim Burton movie I have ever seen. Even SWEENEY TODD if I don't look at the bloody parts. But I still haven't seen EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER see ED WOOD or WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY. (Long story, perhaps I'll tell it another time.)

Hugz
HM

Happy Birthday, Dear Joseph

Greetings.

Today was Joseph's birthday party. I had soooooo much fun!!!! I didn't know a lot of the people he invited, but on the bright side I as was the only girl. (HAAAAA-LLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) It was him, Jasper, his senior band friend Esteban, his sophomore band friend Tommy, his graduated band friend David, and me. Well, us plus Mr. and Mrs. Morton and Jasper's dad I call Uncle Morton. (Because I know Joseph more than Jasper and, well... you get it right?) All of us went go-kart racing (I came in second to last, which is pretty good for a girl who was competing against a whole bunch of guys who had done it several times before and when I hadn't done it before.) and then we saw IRON MAN 2. Even with my aversion to blood, or hemophobia, the technical term, which is just a fancy way of saying that blood, real or fake, makes me sick or faint, the movie was pretty good. I understood everything even without seeing the first one. (We watched IRON MAN while we ate after the movie.) After that, we went back to Joseph's house and all the boys except Esteban, who is not a big fan of swimming (I don't know either), went swimming. I was... physically incapable of swimming today so I didn't even bother to bring my swim gear.
After swimming, we ate Pizza Hut stuff and watched IRON MAN and ate cake from Jackson's. (swoon. I know you're not supposed to swoon over cake but... swoon.) Then David had to go home so Tommy, Jasper, Esteban, Joseph, and I went back to Joseph's room and played video games. It was fun... I had been playing Super Smash Bros. Melee with my neck at a weird angle so Joseph gave me a neck massage. (OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And then I gave him a tickle attack and his head wound up in my lap and he left it there for a little bit. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I love today.

Hugz
HM

Tradition (á la Fiddler on the Roof)

Greetings.

Well, I have mixed feelings about today. Freddy didn't come to lunch today and make me feel unwanted. We played BS; Emma won, and then Bennie and I tied. No homework. Gamer's Club was fun, but both Freddy and Joss were there so I didn't want to stay long... I mean, I brought her to Gamer's Club, knowing he would be there, and then I want to cry about it. What is WRONG with me?
Also today I continued the Joseph Birthday Tradition: embarrass him all morning and then give him something sweet for lunch. Freshman year, I had the class sing to him in every class we had together and then I gave him one of those personalized gigantic cookies they sell at Albertson's. Sophomore year, I had the entire cafeteria sing to him (oh, how he hated me) and then gave him my secret recipe brownies that he actually likes. This year, I wrote "Happy Birthday, Joseph" on the board in his first period, which just so happens to be Señor de Soto. He made the class sing to him in Spanish and made Joseph wear this hat that people in Chile wear. It looks like a sombrero and a cowboy hat had a love child. Señor de Soto made him wear it all period. Joseph was really not happy this year, but not as bad as sophomore year. I made it up to him by getting him a piece of his favorite cake from his favorite restaurant in town, a Tex-Mex place called Jackson's, I think. And then I tortured him by tickling him. He hates it when I do that but he always says "Stop it!" with a cute little smile. He also tried to poke me and get me to jump (which is how I tickle him) but he didn't succeed. I'm not ticklish. And he knows it.
I always tell Ally about my dat. Heck, she reads this blog. She thinks I'm getting closer with Joseph. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel better.
That's it for now. I shall write a review of Bentley's show later when I get back home. (I have a very bad feeling about this...)

Hugz
HM

War Is Hell, Love Even More So.

Greetings.

Aunt Pearl. TOM. Friend from down south. Glasses. War. "It" is called many things. And "It" came for me today. Uuuuuuuuuuuugh...
Basically, today sucked. I was supposed to meet Stan for tutoring and he never showed. I went into the library and found out why: There was a Link Crew meeting. So I went back to the dreaded lunch table. Normally, I love my table. I love my friends dearly. I like Lucky, Emma, and Pete sometimes too, Emma more than the boys. But... Freddy has been there. With Joss. And, while I am ecstatic that Joss is happy after whining for the last few weeks about how she wants a boyfriend (though she said someone who was OLDER than her, she distinctly said older; she'll be 19 in October [she's Korean so she got held back until she learned English] and he's turning 17, I think, in August, I think) WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE HIM???????????? Did she NOT SEE what happened to me?????????????????? Ugh, calm down, Harmony Margaret. Deep breaths. (inhales, exhales) He isn't yours. (inhale, exhale) They are free to make their own choices/mistakes. (sigh) But it still feels like someone is punching me when I see them and my nose starts to burn painfully, a clear personal sign that means I am about to cry.
So I went back to the lunch table. The two of them were there, acting, to use a word I should be called a hypocrite for, stupid and coupley. Joseph, Joss, Lucky, Bennie, Emma, Freddy, and Pete were playing BS, having fun, laughing, cheating... without me. My nose burned and I just wanted to run away. I wanted to run, out of the cafeteria, out of the school, out to my car, and drive. Just drive. I had to run, drive, and think. And cry. That's important too, crying. I feel so stupid acting like this. I feel like I don't belong there anymore. And I feel... second best to Bennie and Joss's boyfriends.
I almost did bolt. I swear I did. But then Joseph saw me and said, "Hey, HM, you wanna play?" I felt better because I remembered that I was Joseph's number one girl, though not in the sense I would like. I'm his best female friend. And then Bennie and Joss were all "Come on, HM!" so I played some BS with them. (Joseph won twice.)
On the way to class (Joseph and I walked together like we always did because our classes are in the same direction from the cafeteria), Joseph asked, "Do you have anything planned for tomorrow at lunch?"
I said, "No. Why?"
He said, "I dunno." I smiled.
"Joey, do you miss me?" (I only call him Joey when I am feeling extra affectionate toward him. I prefer Joseph because it fits his persona better than Joey.)
"Yeah. That, and I was wondering if you were bringing a giant cookie again." He was referring to his birthday (which is on Sunday) and how every year I bring treats. Last year, I even threw him a surprise party. You know those MasterCard commercials where they tell you the price of things? Well, Joseph's face: Priceless. Anyways, freshman year, I had brought I gigantic chocolate chip cookie. This was back when Freddy was in our Fantastic Four and we didn't know Joss yet so it was Bennie, Joseph, Freddy, and I.
I laughed and said, "I hadn't even thought of that until your just said it."
So I got him a piece of his favorite cake from his favorite restaurant and I think they only have this restaurant where I live, I don't know... But yeah, I got him a piece of cake.
Other than that... I hated today. I just want to sit back and cry. But I can't; I hate when I cry and Bev can hear me. I hate having her pry into my life. That's what Claire is for.

Hugz
HM

The Paradox of Love and AP Testing

Greetings.

As I described in "My Love Life Part Two: Freddy Ackerby", Freddy broke my heart into a thousand miniscule pieces and sent me into a spiral of depression, causing me to seek solace in food products and gain 40 pounds.
And now he's dating my sister Joss. (I'm not worried about the fat part; she's got the best metabolism in the world, matched only by her new boyfriend.)
Let me explain. I had my AP English Language and Composition test today. (Every school in the nation who offers that class did.) I got to school that morning with the remnants of a terrible nightmare (my physics teacher, Mr. Reuben, revealed, during our final exam, that he was a cannibal by taking a member of the class into the room next door and splitting them with the Bennie's physics teacher, Mr. Graves. I finished my exam and then bolted out of the classroom, making sure to grab Bennie on the way. Then we ran by Joss and Joseph's classroom, bolted to my car, and drove FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away.) and what was left of the review my English class had gone over the previous day. And then, when I got to the table that Bennie, Joss, Stan, Claire, her friends, Chase Fuller, Ernie Rodham, Louisa Tyler, and Kira Pulliam, and I share in the mornings to find that Joss and Bennie were discussing me. Weird. But not as weird as them revealing that Joss, indeed, was dating Freddy. The irony: I was just laughing at the impossibility of that happening (like seriously rolling on the floor laughing, so not kidding) yesterday with our friends in choir.
That kept me nice and distracted during the AP exam. Not a good thing to be distracted during. But the test was SO easy that I finished it easily and I think I may get at least a 4. So, no big. (10/1/10: I got a 5, by the way)
At lunch, though, I kept feeling as if I wanted to cry. I had to sit NEXT TO THEM. They had linked arms. They were being... well... the same way he and I were sophomore year. I couldn't take it. As soon as I finished lunch, I beat a hasty retreat to my Spanish teacher, Señor de Soto's, room, given that that was my next class. Even though I was ten minutes early. (AP test, a morning thing, had let out halfway through lunch.)
I know Freddy isn't mine. He hasn't been mine for over a year now. But... He was the first guy I truly cared about. More than Aaron. He was the first guy to truly appreciate me. Call me beautiful. Treat me special. Ignore the fact that I was physically imperfect and try to get to know the real me. The first to truly break my heart. And it still hurts. There's a bruise on my heart. I thought it had gone away... But the memory of how he treated me is still there. And now he's got Joss. What if he does the same thing to her? I threatened him, in a way.
I looked up at him (he's six-six, I'm five-five) and said, "If you break her heart the same way you broke mine, your stepmother will look like Mother Teresa because I will be on you like a John Deere riding mower on grass. You are no longer my priority. Joss is. And if you hurt her in ANY way, make her cry at ANY time, I swear, there will be Hell to pay."
I guess I did threaten him. Oh well. He deserved it.
On the bright side, I had an interview at Jamba Juice and it went pretty well. I may get the job. More details to follow.

Hugz
HM

Choir: The Last Cry-fest

Greetings.

Are seniors in choir always such big crybabies? I mean, if they're that good of friends, then they'll see each other after high school. Why is it such a big deal? I mean, I have four sisters. One I have known almost since birth. I KNOW I'll at least keep in touch with Ally, hopefully see her more often. Claire, I have known since I was five when we moved into our new house. That's not a problem. And I am not worried about Joseph. I asked him, "Do you think we'll still be friends after high school?"
He said, after thinking for about two seconds, "Yeah, I think so." So I'm not worried there.
And honestly, I am not worried about maintaining my friendship with Bennie, sister of four years, and Joss, two. All three of us want to go to the community college near our house and Bennie and I have even discussed being roomies in a apartment when we get out of community college and go to real college (which is also near our houses). So, I have no clue why these seniors are crying. Mary June was blubbering like a freaking baby and clutching her two best friends, Marina Brown and Malissa Green. It was weird. Aaron and I even made up, that's how sentimental everyone was.
However, there was one casualty. I had to say good-bye to my friend, whose chubby physique makes me want to hug him like a teddy bear, which I often do, Zach Lorrin. He's kind of like the anti-Harmony Margaret. I'm innocent and cute. He's... not. (But he's huggable, so that helps.) But he decided to take pity on innocent me and include me in his conversations with his best friend, Ty Aggart, half of which I don't understand. (Zach says that's good; I haven't been totally corrupted yet.)
Sigh... I am going to miss Zach, Aaron, Remy, and Ty. Aaron and Remy I have known for years. And Zach and Ty were fun.
Hmm. Now that I think about it I am not too keen on the end of the year... Oh well, I still have Bennie, Ally, Joss, Joseph, and Claire. And that's enough.

Hugz
HM

Mother's Day

Greetings.

I hope all you mamas out there had a wonderful day today.
Okay, I got my mom two presents: GORGEOUS earrings and a white vest in a style that Bev REALLY wanted. I thought I was going to win this year. See, Dad and I (Bentley never actually shops for Bev's present) always compete for who gets the best present(s). And this year I thought I had won. I mean, those are AWESOME gifts.
But then Dad comes in out of nowhere and swoops this awesome gift for her: one of those digital picture frames that can hold 6400 pics. I even fell for it. Nana, Aunt Gertie, Uncle Sam, Josie, Jeremy, Bentley, and I just sat there looking at the pictures for, like, twenty minutes. (Man, I was CUTE when I was younger!)
As I mentioned before, Aunt Gertie, Uncle Sam, Josie, and Jeremy came for Mother's Day. Josie, Jeremy, and I had a lot of fun. They always love playing my games on my Nintendo DS, especially my vintage GameBoy game with Risk, Battleship, and Clue on it. Jeremy, age 9, is probably one of my favorite distant relatives. (Well, not like DISTANT distant, he's my cousin on Bev's side. But he's not my IMMEDIATE family. Plus, he lives two hours from me.) He's a cute little boy with a bad case of ADD, but he's adorable. And he's more talkative than Josie, age 5, at least he is where I'm concerned. But Josie came around later during Brunch when she saw her brother beat Battleship on my GameBoy in, like, seven minutes. She then went on to beat his record by two minutes. (Of course she had a little help. But, since she didn't want the help, she and Jeremy had a tug-of-war over my DS which caused part of it to break.)
Then we went back to Gramps and Nana's and opened presents, yadda yadda yadda. Then Bev and Bentley dropped me off home so they could go see IRON MAN 2 (which I am going to see next Saturday as part of Joseph's birthday celebration because his birthday's on a Sunday this year) and Dad went to his school to work on a few things. I stayed home and... did nothing. Hm. Perhaps I should have gone to the gym.
Nah, I was TIRED. I mean, I was so tired yesterday that I fell asleep at Joseph's. Sheesh. THAT'S tired.

Hugz
HM

Nap Time

Greetings.

My most exciting instance today was a nap. Seriously.
Okay, I was sleeping this morning. As I have continuously lamented over the past week, I have not been getting a lot of sleep. Well, my dad called me from the other side of town, where he was organizing a barbecue for his seniors (he teaches Journalism), so that I could be errand girl and get him (I kid you not) cheese. (I swear, ever since I got my license and Kermit, I have been demoted to errand girl/slave/chauffeur.) I was ticked. I was in the middle of a REM cycle and he calls me to bring him cheese. It turns out I brought the wrong cheese so then I had to drive approximately five minutes from where the barbecue was to get him cheese. WHY HE DIDN'T GO OUT AND GET CHEESE HIMSELF IS BEYOND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See? Slave girl.
So that meant I was late to my day with Joseph. I had bought Mrs. Morton a Mother's Day present 'cause she's like a second mom to me and I brought it over. (She loved it; it was a coconut and pineapple scented candle, because they just got back from Hawaii.) Anyways, so I am lying on Joseph's bed (get your mind out of the gutter) while he was leaning against it, playing ASSASSIN'S CREED 2. He was having fun, I was super tired, and I just... fell asleep on his bed. I was so exhausted. Joseph said his dad came in an chuckled when he saw me asleep on his bed. And he said he tried to wake me up, poking my head, shoulders, (knees and toes, ha ha not really) cheeks, and nose (hey that rhymes with the real ones!). But I woke up because I felt something on my foot. I have very sensitive feet. He thought it was kind of funny. I was supposed to go somewhere with them, but I just wanted to lie down so I went home.
So, yup. A nap. Whee...

Hugz
HM

Sigh...

Greetings.

Today was not good. The only thing that was good about it was cake. (Wheeee, cake!!! <3) But I'll get to cake later.
As I wrote yesterday, Joseph ditched me at his band concert. Today (I am so proud of Robo-Boy!) he actually confronted me and apologized. Then again, I did glare at him on my way out of the cafeteria, but it's progress nonetheless. I was very impressed.
Dad borrowed my Kermit today. Fine. I took Fozzie, our gold-colored Honda Odyssey, to school. Fine. The bad part? Dad came by later in the school day to drop off Kermit WITH ALMOST NO GAS IN IT. I drove to Costco to fill up, right? Except the machine wouldn't take my payment card. I waited half an hour in line to fill up my tank and IT WON'T ACCEPT MY FREAKING PAYMENT CARD! I was pissed. I seem to be pissed a lot lately... Hmmm...
The cake... Oh, my gosh, so amazing. There's this place in the city I live in, Jackson's Tex-Mex Café, that makes the. Best. Chocolate. Cake. The frosting, the texture, the taste... mmm, I get tingles just thinking about it. It's pure bliss. I had two pieces. (Don't tell Bev. I told her I'd only eat one.)
I'm just so tired... I haven't talked to Ally in days. Claire either. Bennie, Joss, and I have a choir concert on Monday with Mary June Laramie and Louisa Tyler singing my solos. I still feel sick-ish.
I need more sleep than I am going to get tonight.

Hugz
HM

Band Concert

Greetings.

You have absolutely NO idea how PISSED OFF I am right now.
I told you yesterday (and Monday too, I think) that I was going to Joseph's band concert, right? Well, I went. It started off fine. I ate with Joseph, Jasper, and their other relatives, we talked, we had fun. Fine. Then Joseph left to set up for his first performance. We soon followed so we could get good seats. As soon as Jasper sees Mickie Phineas (oh, the manslayer she is. Very nice girl though.) he ditches me and goes to ogle her. He knows I have xenophobia (fear of strangers) and there I was, in a sea of xenos with Joseph nowhere to be found. I finally found refuge near Joseph and Jasper's relatives. Jasper didn't come back until the performance started.
Then the performance moved outside. It was beautiful, out in the amphitheater. Horizon High has a spectacular amphitheater. And again, Joseph performed. Yay! He did well. He played his bass for the jazz band and he even got a highlighted solo. I was so proud of him! But, even though I had told him we would be waiting for him and that I would appreciate it if he and Jasper sat near me to prevent my xenophobia from setting in, he never showed. Jasper ditched me again to go socialize with Mickie again. And, even when I didn't see him over there, he never returned. I sat in the amphitheater, alone, in the cold (it gets really chilly at night here and I was wearing a thin T-shirt), and with people I didn't know everywhere. I almost had a panic attack. I was hurt. They left me all alone. Even when Joseph knew that he was the only reason I came to the concert. I sat like that for two sets, one set of three normal length medleys and the other with two LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG medleys, until I just got so mad and hurt and upset that I picked up my stuff, gave my leftover raffle tickets to Mrs. Morton, and headed for the bathrooms. On my way there, I found Joseph and Jasper goofing off. Jasper, I kind of understand, he doesn't see these people because he's homeschooled. But Joseph sees them every day for several hours at a time when I only get 40 minutes with him. He didn't say hi, didn't tell me where he was, didn't even acknowledge that I came to see him after he was done performing. He said hi on my way to the bathroom. Then when I came out of the bathroom I went up to him and said, "Tell Emma, Lucky, and Pete they did a good job. And tell Pete I loved his solo." Then out of nowhere as I was walking away, he grabbed my sleeve (which made my collar dig into my throat), and slammed me and Joseph together! For no reason! AND NOW I HAVE A FREAKING BRUISE ON MY LEFT SHOULDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joseph asked, "Why'd you do that?"
"So that you'd be mad at me and not at each other," Jasper said. I frowned harder than I had been.
"Why was Joseph mad at me?" I snarled. I was PISSED. I hate being ditched at a place where I don't know anyone and then sit like that for an hour in the cold with no one to talk to.
"I wasn't mad at her," Joseph told Jasper. He didn't tell me, he told JASPER. I had had enough. I stalked off and when I rounded the corner of the building, I burst into tears.
I know I'm probably being irrational, but they hurt my feelings, they left me alone in the cold and among strangers, and didn't even bother to tell me where they were or acknowledge that I paid $10 to sit in the cold all alone. I know Joseph has other friends. I do too. I have four sisters, hello! But I'd NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER ditch them someplace full of strangers, ESPECIALLY if they have xenophobia. I expect the same of my friends. But no. Robo-Boy never considers my feelings or my welfare, especially when he's involved with video games or his band buddies. And, I know he's not my property, ACKNOWLEDGMENT is not too much to ask.

Hugz
HM

Cinco de Mayo

Greetings.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, peoplez! I learned today why Cinco de Mayo is such a big deal to Mexicans. Apparently, they won an impossible battle against the best army in the world at that point, the French, in only a few hours. Seriously, the battle started at, like, seven in the morning and ended around four. Amazing! Suck it, France.
Today is also Bennie's anniversary. But not with Stan. No, she was fake married by the Spanish teacher for Cinco de Mayo, a popular booth at our food sale day. And guess who stopped by today? Her "husband", Roland Glibb. Roland used to go to our school, Horizon High School, home of the Argonauts, until he transferred. He considers me his little sister and, despite his little sisters wishes, he's going into the armed forces as a Marine. (Semper Fi. Candidly, I don't really support the war, mainly because I have never been sure what it is about, but I support the men fighting in it. They are just doing their duty.) He now works for a carpet cleaning company and I hardly ever get to see him. So when he stopped by, we sat out on my front lawn (because no one else was home) and talked for about half an hour. It was nice to talk to him.
I also talked to my cousin today. Ginger Overstreet is my dad's sister's son's daughter. The irony: she's a year and six days older than I am. Yet I'm like her second aunt twice removed or something. We just say cousin because that is SOOO much easier. Anyways, she comes to visit us almost every summer and ever since last summer, when she met Roland at my birthday party, we haven't spoken much. She talks to him more than she does to me. She doesn't text, email, Facebook, MySpace... nothing. It's not easy, and she's my cousin, and I love her very dearly, but she taught me a lot. I was always the more sheltered of the two of us; private school, strict self-discipline, very rigid morals. She's not loose like, I don't know, a stirpper or anything, but she had a lot more worldly experience than I did. (But, then again, so did Mother Teresa.) I miss talking to her...
Okay, I'm done moaning about my familial problems with Ginger. (Love you, cousin!) Now I shall moan about choir. We're performing "Don't Stop Believing" from GLEE. Fine. Kudos to Mr. Privett. But he gave the solo to a girl, Louisa Tyler, who, although she is a very nice girl and a good singer, can't sing this particular song. She puts the sound "ee" on the end of each word and she doesn't open her mouth enough to enunciate properly for this song. I am still pissed about Mary June getting the TWO solos and with Louisa getting a solo that I performed better than she, I am just not happy. I am seriously considering not doing choir next year. I am tired of being second best, tired of NEVER getting the parts in plays or solos that I want/deserve. There has only been ONE time that I received the part that I wanted and that was after working eight years with the same theater company. I am SICK of not getting what I deserve fairly. It's always the director's favorites who get the good parts (don't you even TRY to contradict me, Claire) and I get the supporting roles. I SAVE everyone else in the show and it always, except once, has gone unnoticed. I don't get leads. If it's because of my weight, then they are basing their decisions on appearances and not by the quality of the work I produce. And, though everyone does it, it doesn't make it any less wrong.
Ugh, I am just so frustrated, I want to punch something!

Punchez,
HM

Really Old Yeller

Greetings.

Why is it that whenever Ally's email is over quota, I have a crisis that I need to talk to her about? (Neither of us are phone people.) Dad yelled at me again about me getting a job. Now, I had had a TERRIBLE, AWFUL, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY. And him yelling at me just sent me over the edge. I almost, ALMOST, hit him or threw what I was holding (my heavy history and Spanish books, keys, sunglasses, Joseph's gift card to Game Stop) at him, but I didn't. I threw them into the dining room; I knocked over two chairs, 'cause I threw my backpack too. Then I shouted, "I'm going to my room!" and stalked there. I'm proud of myself. I didn't slam the door. Immediately I called Bev and asked if I could stay with Nana and Gramps.
So that's where I am now.
Nana, Gramps, and I went to dinner and they told me all sorts of stories about Bev and Uncle Sam. Bev was married to this guy before she met dad; his name was Raphael. Let's just say they didn't part on amicable terms. Anyways, she went to live in Uncle Sam's apartment building, which was, like, 100 years old and had three million cockroaches in it. Nana said that when you opened the cupboard, they fell onto your head. Bev confirmed it. I thought that Nana was exaggerating... Anyways, Nana was dying laughing when she remembered that, when that big earthquake hit Chico, where Bev and Uncle Sam had lived for a while, all the new buildings fell down around that old one. Gramps said (this was what made Nana laugh) that all the cockroaches had linked their arms together and made the building stand. He reasoned that there were enough of them to do it. Nana just laughed.
I like staying at Gramps and Nana's house. I'm really tired of Dad yelling. Bev yells too, but not as often. This is the third month in a row that I have sought shelter at Nana and Gramps's house. Maybe I should just stay here. Bev and Dad have Bentley.
I called Joseph on the way to their house. I cried most of the time. He was really quiet. When I told him that I wanted to move to Gramps and Nana's house, he said, "HM, please don't move." I think that's the closest he's ever come to saying that he really cares about me a whole lot. The second place one was during freshman year. Bev got offered this big promotion in another city and we almost had to move. When I told my friends we might be moving (this was before Joss, mind you), Bennie almost started to cry and Freddy and Joseph got really quiet. Freddy said, "Please, HM, don't go."
Joseph said, "Yeah, HM. We'd miss you."
I feel better. I still haven't talked to my dad. Nor do I care to right now. He doesn't seem to be able to get this through his head: THERE. ARE. NO. JOBS. But leave it to Dad to be ignorant of this one key point.
I'm tired of being second best. I can't get anything I'm qualified for. I never get the leads in my plays (except one, but after eight years, pfft, might as well be forever), I can't get a solo while the choir's rich snobby president, Mary June Laramie, (I know it doesn't sound snobby, but she is) gets two that I wanted and probably more since our choir teacher, Mr. Privett, hasn't announced all of the solos yet, and I get straight A's yet I still get yelled at. Bentley messes up more than I do; he doesn't do his homework, he slacks off, and he's rude to me. Yet he has not been yelled at in weeks and he has NEVER been yelled at bad enough to call Nana and Gramps. I'm seriously sick and tired of coming in second, of not being good enough. And you know what the cruel part is?
I can't do a thing to change it. Mr. Privett chooses the solos, there's always someone less talented yet yet prettier than me for the leads, and Dad will always yell at me because Bentley has taken over my role as "the good one". I can't find a job. I'm only sixteen! I get straight A's, I care for my friends, I do my homework, I cook, I take care of Bentley, I drive him EVERYWHERE, and what do I get? A FREAKING "YOU NEED A JOB, HARMONY MARGARET WALKER!"
Here's a thought, Dad: If I'm working my butt off at a job, who's going to do the driving, cooking, and slaving that I so conveniently do?
Eat that, Dad.

Hugz (and a chokehold for Dad)
HM

My... Freaking... Busy... Week...!!!!!!!!!!

Greetings.

I. Hate. Being. Sick. I cannot stand it. I mean, making up homework, missing school, not seeing my friends (and those miscellaneous three that hang at our lunch table), none of it is really all that fun. This is how I went to school today:
1) Three (THREE) hours of sleep
2) embarrassingly drippy runny nose and scratchy sore throat
3) couldn't keep my head up from lunch on
And the worst part is that I have a math test tomorrow and my teacher, Mrs. Benz, doesn't let you make up tests you miss. Plus, I have to clear an absence with my physics teacher, Mr. Reuben, because I wasn't there for the elections (I lost, btw, to Joaquin Valdez) and there was a sub and I thought I had checked in with him... aaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!! Anyways, I have a lot of crap to do tomorrow.
To top it all off, I promised Bennie's boyfriend, Stanley, that I'd tutor him Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday right before Joseph asked me specifically to come to his band performance. He asked me out (kinda-sorta. Help me, Ally and Claire!) and now I have to drive Bentley to rehearsal on Thursday too. SO, here's the rest of my week:
Tomorrow: Math test, clear absence with Mr. Reuben, fight off sickness, homework, clear Thursday with Stan, talk to Dad about tutoring Stan in the first place...
Wednesday: Tutor Stan (if Dad will let me...), fight off sickness, maybe drive Bentley to rehearsal, DO MOUNTAIN OF HOMEWORK THAT I PUT OFF TODAY.
Thursday: drive Bentley to rehearsal, go to Joseph's band concert, homework, fight off sickness
Friday: possible Gamer's Club meeting, tutor Stan (we'll have to coordinate...), DO MORE HOMEWORK, disconnect my brain for the weekend.
I can't wait for Saturday. And even then I may have to go shopping for Joseph's second birthday gift (his first is the complete series of "Invader Zim") and then go over to his house to watch IRON MAN. But that's not even confirmed...
(á la Chipmunks) Please, Saturday, don't be late!!!!!!!

Hugz
HM

My Love Life Part Six: Joseph Morton

Greetings.

Here we are at the final installation of the "My Love Life" series of posts. (Well, at least SO far...)
I met Joseph Morton when I was about eleven. He played Schroeder in A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS at our local community theater for kids. I laughed until I cried when he and the girl who was playing Lucy did the "Jingle Bells" bit. I met him once or twice and I was intrigued by him, especially this scarf he wore. It had the piano keys on it and I loved it. We talked, but I had no clue how big a part of my life he would become.
A year later, we met again doing PETER PAN. He played John and I played two minor roles. But he had my one weakness: a hat. And not just any hat. He had the epitome of hats: the top hat. I had to have it. So every chance I got I would sneak up behind him and grab his hat and run away. Sometimes he didn't notice until the end of rehearsal (one time I managed to take it home because he didn't notice I had it) but most often he chased me around and tried to make me give his hat back. I was twelve, in seventh grade (shudder), but I didn't really consider him my good friend. We were friends. And I liked him as a friend.
Eighth grade, we were in another show together, but I don't remember what it was... or maybe that was the year we were in all the plays that the other was not in. YEAH, that was SECRET GARDEN. (Which is where I met his cousin, Jasper.) Anyways, we entered high school. He didn't have anywhere else to go so Bennie and I kind of adopted him. Then we included Freddy and the Fantastic Four was born. We've had some staffing changes (Joss replaced Freddy and now we have added, hopefully temporarily in some cases, Emma Weiss, Lucky Stevenson, and Pete Sanders) but the three of us, Bennie, Joseph, and I have always been together.
Last summer, something went off in my head: Joseph is perfect. I was kind of in a bad place because of Nate and I turned to Joseph. And I figured out that I had feelings for him of the non-platonic variety. It was ground-breaking. Joseph is one of those guys that stays inside all day, collects Batman comics, and quotes STAR WARS. In fact, he does all that stuff AND he can speak Mandelorian. (By the way, that's a totally made up language from STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) But it didn't matter. I liked him. And, given his robotic status, he had a) no clue, b) no intent to return those feelings, and c) absolutely no idea that there was anything different about me.
When I went out with Wayne, I realized it. Joseph was the only one for me. So I stopped seeing Wayne. And... it's been unrequited and unspoken love ever since. I have hinted, but there's a reason his parents sometimes refer to him as "Mr. Oblivious". And those are his PARENTS, whom, by the way, I adore with all of my heart. Joseph Nathaniel Morton and Taylor Morton are two of the sweetest and most wonderful people in the world. And somehow, by some stroke of God-given fortune, they have a son who is the most socially awkward person I have ever met. But whom I am unrequitedly in love with. (Sigh...)
I hate my love life.

Hugz
HM

My Love Life Part Five: Wayne Harvey

Greetings.

There are people who are crazy in a good way, crazy in a bad way, insane in a good way, insane in a bad way, and sane people. My favorite people are the good crazies and the good insanies. But Wayne Harvey was one of those bad crazies.
I met him in December through my gay guy friend Cody Holden. Wayne and Cody are like brothers and Wayne messed with Cody's phone while I was texting Cody. (Hmmm... sounds familiar...) Anyways, he called himself "Sexy Wayne" and I always laughed at that. He said that he wanted to go on a date with me. I said yes. A week after we started talking, we went to see that new CHRISTMAS CAROL movie starring Jim Carrey (omg I love him!) and we had fun. But already I had lost most of my feelings for him. He just... wasn't right for me. The thing that turned me off most was the fact that he wasn't a virgin. Yeah, big no-no.
So a few days after our date, I told him I didn't want to see him anymore because of that. And he flipped out. Called me every foul name in the book, cursed me out via text (cause that's how we talked) and got really mad. But, see, the virgin thing was a cover up for my real reason. I told him the real reason a day or two later: I was in love with my best friend Joseph. Yes, the same Joseph who went to Hawaii earlier on in these blog posts.
Surprisingly, Wayne took that better than the other excuse/lie. He said he could accept that.
Two weeks later he had a new girlfriend. Two weeks after that, they were "engaged". A week after that, he confessed that he physically cheated on his girlfriend (who lived in Maine) with the girl he had lost his virginity to, a girl I shall henceforth refer to as "Slutbag Hoe". I chewed him out for his stupid choices and he got all mad at me (ME) for dumping him for a guy who had no feelings for me whatsoever. He even insulted Joseph. That I couldn't take. I cut him down to size and then told him I was done with him.
Three days later his "brother" texted me and said that Wayne had committed suicide. At first I didn't believe him. I checked the death announcements on the newspaper, nothing. I told him he was lying. But he told me that what I said had hit him really hard and that he had jumped off a cliff. I questioned his story, like why would he, both Wayne and his "brother", be near a cliff when they both lived in the city. But the guy gave me a valid explanation. So then I felt bad. I mean, I didn't like the guy, but I didn't want him DEAD.
And what do you know. My gut had been right. Three days after this, Wayne confessed that he had been his "brother" and did that to get back at me for chewing him out (for something that he DID do, for never listening to the advice that he asks for) and being right. What's his deal? I didn't do anything wrong to him and he just made me freak out! I would kill him if I could remember his address.
Anyways, he apologized. And I don't give a flying piece of crap what he does anymore.
(Part six in a second post.)

Hugz
HM

My Love Life Part Four: Nate Peck

Greetings.

Part Four begins:
It was about three months after I broke up with Victor. I was doing okay. Claire, however, wasn't doing as well as I was concerning her break up with Kenny. She was coping, which is pretty much all you can do. We coped together. Anyways, around the middle of April, Claire went to a wedding and I was texting her. She said she was with her friend Nathan "Nate" Peck. I texted, "Ooh, who's he? If you're trying to fix me up, I accept!" And then we started talking about him. Turns out, Claire had been out on the dance floor while Nate had been texting me since the "I accept" text. He had picked up her phone, even though she had told him not to.
Eventually, they came back from the wedding to go to a dance at her church. They invited me. We went to get pizza beforehand and Nate and I hung out. Then the three of us went to the dance. He danced all the slow dances with me. He was very charming. At the end of the dance, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said. And he kissed me.
For the next month, it went well. He IM'd me on Facebook when he could, called, and texted given that he lived almost forty-five minutes away by car. We only saw each other a handful of times. During the second month, though, he started telling me things that were too outrageous to be true. Like "My dad's the kind of this country and I'm next in line. I can't remember the name of the country though." And "I can get your books published. I know a publisher. I saved her daughter from drowning a few years ago." I mean, at first I believed them. But then they got like that; way too extreme. And then he kept calling and calling and calling and driving me crazy! He didn't even call me by my name. It was always "Harmony". I only accept two versions of my name: HM and Harmony Margaret. He called me "Harmzie" and "Harmies" which, since he knew I loved Greek mythology he thought I would think it was cute, but it sounded like "herpes" and that's SO not cute. He just was clingy, annoying, he walked to my house when neither Bev nor Dad was home so he got me in trouble, he called non-stop, he just all out bugged me. So exactly three days before my birthday, I dumped him.
I prefer to say that I dumped him because I did it less tactfully than I did when I broke up with Victor. Truthfully, Victor was MUCH more desirable. I missed Victor after I dumped Nate. In fact, I told Victor that I was dumping Nate even before I told Claire. I even asked him for help. Victor was more than happy to help. It was comforting to know he didn't hate me. He was always kind and considerate and it felt good to know that he didn't despise me. =)
"Part Five and Six-ish: Wayne Harvey and Joseph Michael Morton" tomorrow.

Hugz
HM (NOT "Harmzie", "Harmies", or "Harmony". Got it?)