Halloween

Greetings.


Well it is my first Halloween post and - guess what - I DON'T GET TO GO TRICK-OR-TREATING, WHICH I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO DO!!!!!!!!!!! I am stuck at home. Ally is going trick-or-treating with Colleen and her friends from school, Claire can't trick-or-treat just because it's SUNDAY (right now, I really hate Mormonism), and even BENTLEY is ditching me and going to a party or something like that with either a group of girls from school or a group of girls from his game show or a group of girls from theater. (Notice a pattern here?)

Well, this SUCKS. Like, MARJORLY. I LIVE for free candy - especially Reese's and anything chocolatey and peanut buttery - and All Hallow's Eve is a cornucopia of free candy. I LOVE candy, as do most fatties, and I want some! Joseph doesn't even do Halloween. Since everyone else ditched me, I called him to see if I could come hang out but he's working on Calculus (I TOLD him not to take it, but did he listen to me, NOOOOOO) and his dad is going over to paint his mother's house so they can sell it.

...Halloween just got really depressing.

But anyways, I'm stuck here. I want to go out someplace but there's nowhere to go when you're not trick-or-treating on Halloween. And, Claire, if you say church, I will hurt you. Is it wrong of me to want to start crying? Ah, crap, too late...


Hugz
HM

Possible?

Greetings.


The question I posit to you today, dear readers, is this: Is it possible to feel depressed and happy at the same time? I think it might possibly be maybe possible.

I was at Joseph's band competition - which was awesome - and I was sitting for four hours on a set of bleachers which just so happened to be the most comfortable bleachers I have ever sat in with Mr. and Mrs. Morton. I love them. They are seriously like my second parents except I like them better and they cook more often. Anyways, they gave me a ride to Our Lady of Perpetual Health High School (OLPHHS... what a mouthful) where the competition was held and we had a good time. They got me Jack in the Box on the car ride there, Joseph listened to some songs from TOMMY by The Who, and we had fun. Then we watched, like, ten bands perform. They were really good. I liked at least 70% of them.

But our band kicked MAJOR BUTTOCKS. The Horizon High School Big Green Marching Team - the Marching Argonauts - (By the way, our school colors are, I crap you not, neon green and black) took THREE out of FOUR sweepstakes trophies with the theme of LES MISERABLES, which is completely amazingly awesome!!!! We lost to Liberty Bell High School in Percussion by ONE POINT. It sucked because Joseph is in percussion. But still, we won sweepstakes in Auxiliary (color guard) and our color guard usually SUCKS.

As the Horizon High band was celebrating/loading the trailers with their instruments, I got my weird mixture of happy depression. I was depressed because Joseph hadn't talked to me since we dropped him off - understandable, but now that it was after the competition, he couldn't spare a moment? - and because all of these people, a good number of whom I know, won't talk to me. Plus I didn't get a cookie. But I was happy because our band won, I got to see it, and I love good music.

I guess, in retrospect, the depression outweighed the happy, but it was mixed.


Hugz
HM

The Nostalgia Critic (and Hex Hall, which isn't as awesome)

Greetings.


Every decade or so there comes a genius - musical, cinematic, or otherwise - that provides us with amazing comedy by making fun of already existing creations. My favorite examples include, The Key of Awesome, DaveDays, Venetian Princess, and, the King of Parodies and a personal hero of mine, WEIRD AL YANKOVIC! (genuflect now, weenies, or I'll come and hurt you) But now I am pissed off at Petrie, this guy from my church. He has introduced me to (enter dramatic music that you can easily say "dun dun dun" to) THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!! (cue gratuitous lightning) He takes these crappy movies - TMNT, BATMAN AND ROBIN, HOWARD THE DUCK - and turns them onto themselves to hysterical proportions. I shall include his website below JUST SO YOU CAN SEE HOW FREAKING AWESOME HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic

Anyways, watch a few of the movies. I, myself, have been watching them for FIFTEEN HOURS!!!!! (minus the few hours I was at dinner with Nana and Gramps) These are hysterical, addicting, and downright awesome. Not only that, the Critic is actually kind of cute.

Now, in the spirit of critiquing, I am going to attempt to criticize HEX HALL, a novel by Rachel Hawkins, that I recently checked out from Horizon High School's library. Ahem:

Hex Hall starts out as an interesting, albeit unoriginal, concept. Girl - Sophie Mercer - who does not know father is actually a witch whose powers she inherited from her father gets in trouble and is sent to a witch reform school where everyone is either hot, evil, sweet, or 2 of the above. She befriends a lesbian vampire (...really? As if vamps weren't getting enough bad press already) who turns out to be her roommate (NOOOOOO!!!! UM, HEADMISTRESS, CAN I SWITCH ROOMS?????) and is suspected of murdering her former roommate. ...Class, can we say "suspicious"? Then we have the evil trio: Chaston, Anna, and Elodie, self-proclaimed 'Dark witches' who just want to screw over the world and conjure up demons, who are more powerful than the shifters (shapeshifters i.e. Jacob), faeries (i.e. Sookie Stackhouse but much more obvious), and some of the witches and warlocks (what the hell happened to wizard?). Then there's Archer Cross, the studly boyfriend of Elodie, the meanest of the trio even though Anna seems to be the leader. Chaston and Anna, throughout the book, are found almost dead in the same way the vampire's - Jenna - dead roommate had been. So immediately, Jenna comes under suspicion. She has to go away. Well, Sophie finds her great-grandmother, Alice, and she begins to teach her really strong spells.

Everything's progressing nicely. Archer seems to have the secret not-so-secret hots for Sophie Big-Boobs (no kidding, duh, she has big knockers) who likes that just fine. Elodie makes friends with Sophie once her friends are out of the picture and takes lessons from Alice as well. Jenna's gone.

But then, OHMYGAWSH, when Sophie and Archer are making out and taking off clothes (SERIOUSLY?????????) SOPHIE FINDS A TATTOO THAT MAKES HIM A MEMBER OF, LIKE, THE KKK FOR WITCHES!!!!!!!! Archer disappears, the headmistress tells her to go back to bed, but no, Sophie and Elodie go to see Alice. Then - SPOILER ALERT - ALICE REVEALS THAT SHE IS A DEMON RESURRECTED BY ELODIE, ANNA, CHASTON AND THE DECEASED ROOMMATE OF JENNA, HOLLY, WHO KILLED HOLLY AS A BLOOD SACRIFICE AND THEN WENT AFTER ANNA AND CHASTON FOR BLOOD. Alice then practically kills Elodie in the same manner that she did the other two - two geisha nails to the throat, just like a vampire - and proceeds to drink her blood. Then Sophie grows a pair and kills her great-grandmommy by knifing her with a sword that is the only thing that can - OHMYGAWSH - kill demons in the world!

So it is revealed that Sophie is a quarter-demon and that she is descended from a specter from Hell itself. FUN!!!! BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS HER LESBIAN BEST VAMPIRE FRIEND RETURNS SO THEY CAN BE MONSTERS TOGETHER!!!!!!! But - what's this? Archer has still not been found. SEQUEL!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Okay, fundamental flaws: I care nothing about the characters. Sophie is underdeveloped, Jenna is a bloodsucker who is a lesbian rooming with her big-boobied roommate (anyone else see what's wrong here?), Archer is the stereotypical pretty boy (SERIOUSLY, JENNA AND SOPHIE EVEN SAY THAT, ALMOST VERBATIM!), Elodie, Chaston, and Anna are just awful, and it was a mess. Not to mention the story seemed to drag ON AND ON until finally in the last thirty pages Hawkins had to wrap things up so she did so hurriedly and very sloppily, thus ending the book on a cheesy and unfulfilling note. I regret spending the last four days trying to read this book. DO NOT READ IT.

Wow, critiquing is fun. THANK YOU NOSTALGIA CRITIC! (cue cheesy music, preferably something that can go with the lyrics "Here's a story of a lovely lady...")


Hugz
HM, BOOK CRITIC

The Eight Ds of Faith and Miracles

Greetings.


Today, I wasn't needed in Sunday school (WAAAAAAH!!!!!!) so I stayed for the adult sermon, which is unusual for me. I usually stay for Sunday school and then the Youth service, or just stay for Sunday school and then go have brunch with Nana. But today they didn't need me so I stayed for the adult service. Joseph played bass this morning (How sexy is he? He acts, goes to church devotedly every Sunday, plays several instruments, can sing when he wants to, has a nice butt, and glasses. I swear, I'd marry him if he'd let me. hee hee) and we sat with his parents.

Pastor Sherman's sermon was on Romans 4:17-25. Now, I never bring my Bible to church because they always have the verses on the screen and I am trying to ease myself into this church stuff (I'm still not overly used to it but I enjoy it, I think?) but I kind of wish I had. I can't remember who Ishmael was for the life of me and Pastor Sherman referenced him a LOT during the sermon.

I digress.

Anyways, he talked about miracles and the processes of faith and miracles. First, God DECLARES that he's going to do something for you. Then you make a DECISION about the DECLARATION. Then comes the hard part: there's a DELAY in His promise. He says that this is the hardest part, the "Wait Here" step. DOUBT enters your mind, DESPAIR creeps into your heart, and DETOURS present themselves. This is the part where I began to cry.

He finally says that when our hope has DISAPPEARED, God will DELIVER us. God waits for the circumstances to go from simply "improbable" to "impossible". God loves to defy physics. It's like his hobby. He's good at it. He has two specialties: life from death and making something out of nothing. Raising Jesus from the dead and putting a baby in the Virgin Mary are REALLY good examples.

But why it made me cry was because I was sitting next to what I hope to be my miracle. Joseph. I fell in love with him which I imagine to be God's DECLARATION that I shall love him. I made a DECISION: I'm going to be patient and wait out the DELAY. DESPAIR, DOUBT, DETOURS - all have presented themselves, but I am doing my best not to get too discouraged. Obviously, the last two have not occurred yet, but when my DELIVERANCE comes, I will be so happy I will most likely break the Internet.

I hope no one figures out I broke it, though. Maybe that'll be God's NEXT miracle for me. Ha ha ha.


Hugz
HM

Jocelyn You-Na Black

Greetings.


Jocelyn, whose real Korean name is You-Na, is a transfer student from Korea. Maybe I should say that she was sent here by her mother to live with her uncle, aunt, and cousins, who, ironically, I went to elementary and middle school with at Southington Heights Christian Academy until I went eighth grade. She was in my freshman Geometry class, in which I sat next to and perpetually joked with Joseph. (I still got an A. Who da boss?) I didn't know her very well. She kept to herself and only spoke when the teacher spoke to her. I don't blame her; her English was and still is, though less so, a little bit shaky.

I actually met her and became friends with her sophomore year. She was in my P.E. class and we were always the ones left without partners or teams or what-have-yous. So we were forced to partner together most often. I didn't mind; she was fit, but lazy. I was fat, but my heart rate easily went up for heart rate monitors. Soon she started cheating off of me for our weekly grade. And we started talking.

Sophomore year was hard for me, what with the Freddy Ackerby fiasco. Jocelyn came at a slightly bad time. But she started sitting with us at our lunch table late September. Her friends from freshman year had transferred or were ignoring her, I am still unclear as to that point. Nevertheless, we couldn't seem to get rid of her. It was she that brought Emma, Pete, and Lucky to the table junior year (who have since disappeared) and introduced Bennie to the delight that is "kimpa", a kind of Korean sushi that Bennie, Emma, Pete, and Lucky are all addicted to. Neither I nor Joseph like them.

There are a lot of things about Joss that I am uncertain of. Like why she left Korea, for one. Then there are a plethora of little questions like does she miss it. But I know one thing: I would never replace Joss, Bennie, Claire, Ally, or Joseph for anyone in the entire world.


Hugz
HM

Benjamyn Caroline Barton

Greetings.


Bennie is in one hyphenated word soft-spoken. She is the sweetest, most sincere, most loyal, and quietest person I know. But once you get into her head, she won't shut up. And we all love her for it.

When I met her in eighth grade, I was weak and vulnerable. I had had... a bad experience in seventh and I went to Eileen Herald Memorial Junior High School, where Remy and Aaron had graduated from the year previous, for a fresh start. A girl named Tanya showed me around, but she was one of the popular girls; she didn't want to have anything to do with me even though eighth grade was one of my thinner years. But I was picked up by a few others: a group of five girls named Darleen Lopez, Zahara Izyan, Lacey Griggs, Ana Dotefsky, Riley St. Norton, and, of course, Bennie Barton. By the middle of November, Zahara and Ana were gone and me and a girl named Toni DiAngelo had replaced them. Out of all of them, Darleen and Lacey were the most ruthless when they dumped them. I should have learned my lesson, but no. About the middle of April, they dumped me too. Only Bennie came to me and apologized. Only Bennie didn't want to do it. She had gotten into an argument with the others about it. But she and Darleen had been best friends since they were babies and she had to. I understood; I wasn't mad at her.

When we entered high school at Horizon (the newest school in the county and, only in its second year, had one of the best academic and athletic reputations in the state), Toni and Darleen went to different schools, Riley and Lacey pretty much stopped communications with Bennie, Zahara and Ana went their separate ways, and Bennie and I found each other. We didn't know anyone else except for me knowing Joseph and we needed someone. For the first two weeks, we stayed out in the courtyard and Bennie never met Joseph. But finally, once it started getting cold, we moved inside the cafeteria and we have stayed with each other ever since.

Bennie is amazing. She stays true to you no matter what, unless you betray her trust. She and I are alike in the fact that we trust too hard and, sometimes, not too well, as in the case of the other girls. She is shy onstage, only able to speak with someone else, preferably me (or Joss once sophomore reared its ugly head), with her. She is kind, beautiful, and dependable. She's smart and a fairly happy person. I love my Bennie. She is the one who got me into manga, first addicting me to FRUITS BASKET, and I dubbed her Bennie-chan, chan being an term of affection in Japanese culture. I love my Bennie-chan.


Hugz
HM

Clarysse Jennette Burns

Greetings.


I have been getting a lot of requests (mostly from the subjects except for Joseph who has never read this) to write an expository blog post on each of my friends. I already did Allyson, which sparked the whole request thing anyways, and I did Joseph. Quite a few times, in fact. So I am going to go from longest time known to shortest and, since I aready technically started with Ally, I am going to write about Clarysse, then Benjamyn, then Jocelyn.

...I just noticed that all four of my sisters have a 'y' in their names.

Anyways, Claire and I have known each other since we were five. My family had just moved into our new house and she and her dad came by to welcome us. We started to play a lot, but we didn't become best friends until Ally and I drifted apart mid-first grade year, sad to say. But this was back when I thought I could only have one best friend. (As of now, I am not going to have a Maid of Honor at my wedding. I'm going to have four ;) We played games and did normal kids stuff. She was most often over at my house because she was hardly ever happy at her own, but I sure as hell didn't mind. It was kind of like having a real built-in sister. Even BENTLEY liked her.

She's six months younger than I and that means, where we live, she's a school year younger than me too. (which is why I am not having any December babies) So we entered high school at different times. My freshman year was fine, as was her eighth grade year. It was when we started going to school together did drama arise. Freddy. Kenny Harris. Vic. Nate. Wayne. Guy troubles out the wazoo.

But I was happy. So was Claire. She had a lot of friends and no one was mean or spiteful to her except for this one awful girl in her film class, but she graduated last year, so yay! And now she has the first drama she's really had since Kenny Harris. Not only is there Ernie and WIlliam, there's now a guy who is A) a year younger, B) a SCHOOL year younger, and C) a member of her church. His name is Moral Camden. Basically he led her on and I called him out on it and now Claire is pissed ad both me AND Moral and I'm pissed at Moral and Moral is pissed at me. I frankly don't care about Moral. Once you screw over a friend of mine, you are dead to me. But I'm worried about Claire.

Claire is, despite all appearances, a fragile person. She never cries (I call her a Brit) but I know she's very stressed. She comes from a large family, she is the youngest of five, (I mentioned her older sister, Annegela, earlier on) and she got picked on a lot when she was little. So she sought refuge at my house. She's one of the kindest people I know and very trusting, something she inherited from me (ha ha). But sometimes, just as I do, she puts her faith in the wrong people and it cripples her. Claire is one of the dearest friends in the world to me, match only by my other sisters and Joseph, but I worry about her more than is probably healthy. Oh, well. It just shows I care.


Hugz
HM