Greetings.
I don't know if I am going to be writing on this blog again. I... feel it is futile. As cathartic as this is, I need something more stable. And maybe someday I will write on this again. But... I need to leave. I need... closure.
My emotional distress is not new, but this one is... one of the most distressing things I have had to deal with in my entire life. I don't want to get up in the mornings. I don't want to talk to people sometimes. But I do both of those things because I have to.
Joseph is in love with someone else and has been for a LONG time. I have no chance against her. She is kind, smart, beautiful... everything any sensible human being would want. I have no shot whatsoever. And I truly do wish I had never met him. Because since he told me, he has been avoiding me. I went to rehearsal for a new show my troupe is doing and he didn't even say hi to me. He walked up to a friend of ours who was standing next to me and just started talking to him, pretty much ignoring me. He didn't speak to me until he absolutely had to and I don't even remember why.
I am losing my best friend. This is just what I had feared. They're all gone. I want to crawl into a hole and die. I haven't seen Bennie in weeks. I have lost all contact with Joss. Joseph...
I still email Ally every day and I see Claire all the time. But... I love them. They are precious to me. And now they're leaving me. I HATE GOODBYES! I never wanted them to leave! I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Goodbye, Internet. I'll miss you. Possibly for a while.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Close
Greetings.
I have been going to church consistently for almost a year now. I have become a fixture there (it's a small church) especially with the kids, whom I adore.I love spending quality time with Joseph and I like having fun with Petrie. Nana and I talk more and I am getting to know more people.
However there is one thing that bothers me. People - not necessarily at church but who have known me for a while - ask me, "Hey, HM, do you feel closer to God now?" And I don't know how to answer them simply or aloud. I figured since I am a little more articulate in writing I'd try and tackle it here. Here goes nothing.
Do I feel closer to God? The answer is... I don't know. I am certainly closer than I was a while ago, especially during middle school. I cut off my faith in God completely then. I stopped praying, stopped believing that anyone, even the God I put so much stock in before, cared about me and what happened to me. I reasoned he wasn't there for me at all. I wasn't atheist, I don't think. I thought he was still there, but I just didn't want anything to do with someone or something that didn't care about me.
High school... was complicated. God didn't play as much of a role there. I went to public school now. No mandatory chapel services every Thursday, no uniforms, no Bible classes. I had time in eighth grade to adjust - I had no clue how to dress; I mean, I wore bright pink bell bottoms with multi-colored flowers and a pink horizontally-striped shirt on my first day of school at Eileen Herald Memorial Junior High - but high school was just kind of blank in the God department.
Then Ginger came last year. Even though she has more of a... reputation than I do, she is a devout Christian and we had to find a church we could go to while she was visiting. We chose Grammy's because she had said before that it was small and Joseph went there. Ginger wanted to meet Joseph and I wanted to hang out with him.
Yes, I went back to church because of a guy. I am so evil.
But over time I got to enjoy it. I worked in Sunday school in the morning and went to youth service after Sunday school. A couple of times Joseph joined me in Sunday school and he always plays bass for the youth service.
Bottom line: I am closer to God, but not as close as I was when I was little. I miss that. But I still have doubts and fears. Like, I am afraid of the Rapture and death. But I stick up for creationism every chance I get. ;)
Hugz and Prayerz
HM
I have been going to church consistently for almost a year now. I have become a fixture there (it's a small church) especially with the kids, whom I adore.I love spending quality time with Joseph and I like having fun with Petrie. Nana and I talk more and I am getting to know more people.
However there is one thing that bothers me. People - not necessarily at church but who have known me for a while - ask me, "Hey, HM, do you feel closer to God now?" And I don't know how to answer them simply or aloud. I figured since I am a little more articulate in writing I'd try and tackle it here. Here goes nothing.
Do I feel closer to God? The answer is... I don't know. I am certainly closer than I was a while ago, especially during middle school. I cut off my faith in God completely then. I stopped praying, stopped believing that anyone, even the God I put so much stock in before, cared about me and what happened to me. I reasoned he wasn't there for me at all. I wasn't atheist, I don't think. I thought he was still there, but I just didn't want anything to do with someone or something that didn't care about me.
High school... was complicated. God didn't play as much of a role there. I went to public school now. No mandatory chapel services every Thursday, no uniforms, no Bible classes. I had time in eighth grade to adjust - I had no clue how to dress; I mean, I wore bright pink bell bottoms with multi-colored flowers and a pink horizontally-striped shirt on my first day of school at Eileen Herald Memorial Junior High - but high school was just kind of blank in the God department.
Then Ginger came last year. Even though she has more of a... reputation than I do, she is a devout Christian and we had to find a church we could go to while she was visiting. We chose Grammy's because she had said before that it was small and Joseph went there. Ginger wanted to meet Joseph and I wanted to hang out with him.
Yes, I went back to church because of a guy. I am so evil.
But over time I got to enjoy it. I worked in Sunday school in the morning and went to youth service after Sunday school. A couple of times Joseph joined me in Sunday school and he always plays bass for the youth service.
Bottom line: I am closer to God, but not as close as I was when I was little. I miss that. But I still have doubts and fears. Like, I am afraid of the Rapture and death. But I stick up for creationism every chance I get. ;)
Hugz and Prayerz
HM
Monday, April 11, 2011
Pretty Okay
Greetings.
Yesterday was pretty cool. I went to church and hung out with the babies, my little two- and three-year-olds. Alison and Fritz were so precious. They even helped me color a get well card for Nana. Petrie and I hung out for a bit, then I had to take Joseph home. We went by Borders, got a couple of books REALLY on sale because the Borders in our town is closing, and then we drove through places for lunch. He got Wendy's and I got Burger King. I dropped him off, but he invited me in so I could finish my sandwich. I went in, ate, and was about to leave when he asked me to watch some of these parody videos that he is so fond of. Team Four Star - TFS - does these DragonBallZ parodies that are pretty funny. I have only seen the first ten episodes, but it's pretty funny.
Okay, so we watched the first ten episodes and I figured I had stayed this long so might as well play video games. I watched him play "Call of DUty: Black Ops" (much to my later regret) and then he finished the level - which was our deal - fifteen minutes before I was supposed to leave so we got in as much of our game as we could. Beforehand, as he was playing CoD, I was lying behind his head and smelling his hair again. It smells like soap and some sort of light fruit. Then while it was a bloody part, he covered my eyes and sat next to me. It was sweet.
But otherwise, these last couple days have been a bit mundane. Oh well. God bless our troops. (Sorry, it was on my mind.)
Hugz
HM
Yesterday was pretty cool. I went to church and hung out with the babies, my little two- and three-year-olds. Alison and Fritz were so precious. They even helped me color a get well card for Nana. Petrie and I hung out for a bit, then I had to take Joseph home. We went by Borders, got a couple of books REALLY on sale because the Borders in our town is closing, and then we drove through places for lunch. He got Wendy's and I got Burger King. I dropped him off, but he invited me in so I could finish my sandwich. I went in, ate, and was about to leave when he asked me to watch some of these parody videos that he is so fond of. Team Four Star - TFS - does these DragonBallZ parodies that are pretty funny. I have only seen the first ten episodes, but it's pretty funny.
Okay, so we watched the first ten episodes and I figured I had stayed this long so might as well play video games. I watched him play "Call of DUty: Black Ops" (much to my later regret) and then he finished the level - which was our deal - fifteen minutes before I was supposed to leave so we got in as much of our game as we could. Beforehand, as he was playing CoD, I was lying behind his head and smelling his hair again. It smells like soap and some sort of light fruit. Then while it was a bloody part, he covered my eyes and sat next to me. It was sweet.
But otherwise, these last couple days have been a bit mundane. Oh well. God bless our troops. (Sorry, it was on my mind.)
Hugz
HM
Saturday, April 9, 2011
BEST BEST BEST BEST BEST DREAM EVER!
Greetings.
I had the absolute BEST dream last night. I was in HEAVEN, so much so that I refused to wake up. That is, until the dream stopped...
Okay, it's completely nonsensical, but try and follow. I didn't really get it either. Here goes:
We - Joseph, Claire, William Gottfried, Ernie Rodham, and I - were playing Dungeons and Dragons and I was a fairy. (Just go with it. The only thing that they can do is heal people and cast spells, good for long-range combat.) Anyways, there was some complication where all five of us got sucked into the game board and I was captured by the bad guy. Well, long story short, the others rescued me and we got out of the board. Since Joseph was the one who did most of the rescuing, I pounced on him - I didn't knock him over, but I knocked him back a couple of steps and wrapped my arms around him - and kissed him in appreciation. He was surprised, to say the least, but when I released him, he grabbed me and kissed me again. Then I had a flashforward to a few months later. We were watching a movie and we were sitting on the floor. I was laying in between his legs and we were holding hands. Every once in a while he would kiss the top of my head. It was so nice.
I wanted to stay there forever, but unfortunately dreams have to melt away, and mine did. When I woke up, i wanted to cry because I was frustrated with my subconscious. Why couldn't I stay in that happy place forever? That's usually the bad part about good dreams: you want to hurt something when you wake up from them.
Hugz
HM
I had the absolute BEST dream last night. I was in HEAVEN, so much so that I refused to wake up. That is, until the dream stopped...
Okay, it's completely nonsensical, but try and follow. I didn't really get it either. Here goes:
We - Joseph, Claire, William Gottfried, Ernie Rodham, and I - were playing Dungeons and Dragons and I was a fairy. (Just go with it. The only thing that they can do is heal people and cast spells, good for long-range combat.) Anyways, there was some complication where all five of us got sucked into the game board and I was captured by the bad guy. Well, long story short, the others rescued me and we got out of the board. Since Joseph was the one who did most of the rescuing, I pounced on him - I didn't knock him over, but I knocked him back a couple of steps and wrapped my arms around him - and kissed him in appreciation. He was surprised, to say the least, but when I released him, he grabbed me and kissed me again. Then I had a flashforward to a few months later. We were watching a movie and we were sitting on the floor. I was laying in between his legs and we were holding hands. Every once in a while he would kiss the top of my head. It was so nice.
I wanted to stay there forever, but unfortunately dreams have to melt away, and mine did. When I woke up, i wanted to cry because I was frustrated with my subconscious. Why couldn't I stay in that happy place forever? That's usually the bad part about good dreams: you want to hurt something when you wake up from them.
Hugz
HM
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Worried... To Say the Least
Greetings.
Nothing is going right this week. I stayed the night at Gramps and Nana's last night, Dad and I fought yesterday about the stupidest thing - seriously, he just snapped at me for NOTHING - Joseph and I had a fight earlier today...
But none of that is as important as what's on my mind now. Nana is in the hospital. Everyone's saying "Oh, she's fine, she just needs medicine from and IV, that's all." Bull. Never in my life do I remember Nana being in the hospital. She was sick when I stayed there yesterday - diverticulosis, or something like that, I think I spelled it right. And she was in pain. But... today she was checked into the hospital by HER DOCTOR. That's the doom flag right there. That's like a newscaster saying, "A hurricane has been spotted off the coast of- PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!"
I don't want to sleep. What if she calls and needs me? I know the chances are slim, but I don't want to risk it. Nana was there when I was born. She's who I run to. She understands me better than my parents. She's fun. She's my rock. I need my Nana. And though everyone tells me that she's going to be fine, I can't help having this gut feeling that something's wrong! Something is going to go wrong and I can't help feeling that way. I am scared for my Nana. I don't want to sleep. I want to go to the hospital and sit in her room and watch her, maybe sleep there.
I'm scared. That's not enough to describe it. Excuse my French in advance: I am damn terrified.
Prayerz
HM
Nothing is going right this week. I stayed the night at Gramps and Nana's last night, Dad and I fought yesterday about the stupidest thing - seriously, he just snapped at me for NOTHING - Joseph and I had a fight earlier today...
But none of that is as important as what's on my mind now. Nana is in the hospital. Everyone's saying "Oh, she's fine, she just needs medicine from and IV, that's all." Bull. Never in my life do I remember Nana being in the hospital. She was sick when I stayed there yesterday - diverticulosis, or something like that, I think I spelled it right. And she was in pain. But... today she was checked into the hospital by HER DOCTOR. That's the doom flag right there. That's like a newscaster saying, "A hurricane has been spotted off the coast of- PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!!"
I don't want to sleep. What if she calls and needs me? I know the chances are slim, but I don't want to risk it. Nana was there when I was born. She's who I run to. She understands me better than my parents. She's fun. She's my rock. I need my Nana. And though everyone tells me that she's going to be fine, I can't help having this gut feeling that something's wrong! Something is going to go wrong and I can't help feeling that way. I am scared for my Nana. I don't want to sleep. I want to go to the hospital and sit in her room and watch her, maybe sleep there.
I'm scared. That's not enough to describe it. Excuse my French in advance: I am damn terrified.
Prayerz
HM
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Stupid Thing I Did Today
Greetings.
I don't know what your opinion of me may be based on this blog, but most people will tell you I am not impulsive and I normally make wise decisions. Well, okay, maybe not wise, but certainly not stupid. Sensible decisions is almost what I am known for. I'm indecisive when it comes to personal problems, but when there is a choice I have to make, I usually choose the one that works out the best for everyone involved and these choices usually come up everyday.
Today, however, I may have made the wrong one.
Chill out, it's not like I killed anyone or anything. Picture this: It's state "No-Child-Left-Behind" testing week at Horizon and the seniors don't have to take them. (Ha ha) So, we go to the theater and of course we have a speaker. Not just any speaker, a local policeman talking about local teens who are affected by car crashes. He even brought one of the mothers of one of the teens who died. I cried, but I freaked out at a couple points because of the blood. Okay, that didn't go too bad.
After that, we went out to the basketball courts where the car show was. Car show? What car show? Horizon has a car show and the winners of certain categories get something in the yearbook about them. I entered my new royal blue Prius - named Grover, like from Sesame Street - that I got on Sunday (I don't remember if I said anything about that) in two categories: Best Looking Ride and Nicest Interior. Bennie, Joss, Joseph and I just hung out in the car while everyone else sweat in the uncharacteristically hot sun. It was fun. I won Nicest Interior. I should; Grover has built-in sheepskin (I didn't order it) seat covers and still has that new car smell. =)
So far, so good, right? Nothing stupid. Yet.
Well, we go back to the theater for the awards and whatnot and we finish everything a little early. We have about half an hour before we're allowed to go to an all-school lunch. (The weird thing is they usually give us more time during all-school lunches and today they didn't.) Anyways, the activities director staff person whatever called for two girls and two guys. Two guys immediately went up and a single girl went up after much prodding. No other girl wanted to participate - which is weird because almost all of the cheerleaders were in the front three rows - so I just walked up there. It started with a quiz show - I won with the question "What is sand?" and my answer was "granulated sedimentary rock". The boys surrendered. - and then progressed to a dance-off. Here's the stupid part. I didn't sit down. Instead, they played some unidentified song with a kind of sweet sticky sexy beat and I just went with it. I was swaying, rocking, body-rolling, shaking, shimmying, I even took off my sweater in kind of a striptease-y way. The crowd went wild. I won. Normally I get second but the other guy who usually wins didn't participate today.
I'm not done. After the dance off, we still had 10 minutes left, so the activity lady called for singers. I volunteered. I was up there all ready. I sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. The crowd was clapping and having a good time. I fumbled a bit on the lyrics - I don't know the song as well as I know, say, "Hot N Cold" - but they were having fun. This decision was probably not a stupid as my striptease (ha ha), but I saw my friends' faces. They were embarrassed during all of it, especially the dance. It made me feel really sad. I know I did something stupid, but Bennie, Joss, and Joseph could have at least tried to have fun...
It kind of hurt my feelings. The others' friends were having a great time, cheering for them. Mine were blushing, sinking down in their seats, covering their faces. They didn't even try to be supportive of me. Oh well... it just kind of hurt, you know? Sigh... And people wonder why I don't volunteer more.
Hugz
HM
I don't know what your opinion of me may be based on this blog, but most people will tell you I am not impulsive and I normally make wise decisions. Well, okay, maybe not wise, but certainly not stupid. Sensible decisions is almost what I am known for. I'm indecisive when it comes to personal problems, but when there is a choice I have to make, I usually choose the one that works out the best for everyone involved and these choices usually come up everyday.
Today, however, I may have made the wrong one.
Chill out, it's not like I killed anyone or anything. Picture this: It's state "No-Child-Left-Behind" testing week at Horizon and the seniors don't have to take them. (Ha ha) So, we go to the theater and of course we have a speaker. Not just any speaker, a local policeman talking about local teens who are affected by car crashes. He even brought one of the mothers of one of the teens who died. I cried, but I freaked out at a couple points because of the blood. Okay, that didn't go too bad.
After that, we went out to the basketball courts where the car show was. Car show? What car show? Horizon has a car show and the winners of certain categories get something in the yearbook about them. I entered my new royal blue Prius - named Grover, like from Sesame Street - that I got on Sunday (I don't remember if I said anything about that) in two categories: Best Looking Ride and Nicest Interior. Bennie, Joss, Joseph and I just hung out in the car while everyone else sweat in the uncharacteristically hot sun. It was fun. I won Nicest Interior. I should; Grover has built-in sheepskin (I didn't order it) seat covers and still has that new car smell. =)
So far, so good, right? Nothing stupid. Yet.
Well, we go back to the theater for the awards and whatnot and we finish everything a little early. We have about half an hour before we're allowed to go to an all-school lunch. (The weird thing is they usually give us more time during all-school lunches and today they didn't.) Anyways, the activities director staff person whatever called for two girls and two guys. Two guys immediately went up and a single girl went up after much prodding. No other girl wanted to participate - which is weird because almost all of the cheerleaders were in the front three rows - so I just walked up there. It started with a quiz show - I won with the question "What is sand?" and my answer was "granulated sedimentary rock". The boys surrendered. - and then progressed to a dance-off. Here's the stupid part. I didn't sit down. Instead, they played some unidentified song with a kind of sweet sticky sexy beat and I just went with it. I was swaying, rocking, body-rolling, shaking, shimmying, I even took off my sweater in kind of a striptease-y way. The crowd went wild. I won. Normally I get second but the other guy who usually wins didn't participate today.
I'm not done. After the dance off, we still had 10 minutes left, so the activity lady called for singers. I volunteered. I was up there all ready. I sang "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry. The crowd was clapping and having a good time. I fumbled a bit on the lyrics - I don't know the song as well as I know, say, "Hot N Cold" - but they were having fun. This decision was probably not a stupid as my striptease (ha ha), but I saw my friends' faces. They were embarrassed during all of it, especially the dance. It made me feel really sad. I know I did something stupid, but Bennie, Joss, and Joseph could have at least tried to have fun...
It kind of hurt my feelings. The others' friends were having a great time, cheering for them. Mine were blushing, sinking down in their seats, covering their faces. They didn't even try to be supportive of me. Oh well... it just kind of hurt, you know? Sigh... And people wonder why I don't volunteer more.
Hugz
HM
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Why? I don't know.
Greetings.
Okay, for those of you who CAN'T see the timestamp on this, I'm writing this at 3:13 a.m. Why? I'm stressing and it's REALLY hot in my house. OKay, let's go with the stressing. I applied for my community college in February. I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THEM! I am worried, no BEYOND worried. I have a back-up - a college in New Orleans - but frankly I am scared of New Orleans ever since Hurricane Katrina. I know that's kind of stupid, but THEY GET HURRICANES A LOT. Aunt Gia and Uncle Buzz live there and I could stay with them but I haven't seen them or talked to them since I was 10 years old. I wouldn't want to burden them like that. Their house was one of the ones damaged. It wasn't completely destroyed - my uncle's an engineer for the Navy so he designed it to endure anything - but it was still damaged as well as the place where Gia works. So, yeah, New Orleans is bad.
I am stressing about the community college. Someone come visit me in the nuthouse.
Hugz
HM
P.S. I didn't get to April Fool anyone this year... Wah.
Okay, for those of you who CAN'T see the timestamp on this, I'm writing this at 3:13 a.m. Why? I'm stressing and it's REALLY hot in my house. OKay, let's go with the stressing. I applied for my community college in February. I STILL HAVEN'T HEARD FROM THEM! I am worried, no BEYOND worried. I have a back-up - a college in New Orleans - but frankly I am scared of New Orleans ever since Hurricane Katrina. I know that's kind of stupid, but THEY GET HURRICANES A LOT. Aunt Gia and Uncle Buzz live there and I could stay with them but I haven't seen them or talked to them since I was 10 years old. I wouldn't want to burden them like that. Their house was one of the ones damaged. It wasn't completely destroyed - my uncle's an engineer for the Navy so he designed it to endure anything - but it was still damaged as well as the place where Gia works. So, yeah, New Orleans is bad.
I am stressing about the community college. Someone come visit me in the nuthouse.
Hugz
HM
P.S. I didn't get to April Fool anyone this year... Wah.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Concerned Granddaughter's Log
Greetings.
(รก la Shatner's Captain Kirk) Concerned Granddaughter's Log. Stardate 64745.9. Yes, I actually calculated the stardate from STAR TREK. It's not that hard. Anyways, Poppy is worse off than we all thought. It turns out he needs a triple bypass surgery. He has three completely blocked arteries. The problem is that the doctors are reluctant to operate - though they already assured us they will on Saturday - because he's weak from the pneumonia he's had for the past while. I'm extremely worried. Dad is teaching tomorrow and then he's going straight up to Fort Yates to see Poppy. Lara and Dewey are still there. Dad's brother and sister-in-law, Uncle Buzz and Aunt Gia Walker, are coming up from Louisiana but Dad's sister and brother-in-law, Aunt Abigail and Uncle Reggie Potts, can't come. Buzz and Gia can come because Buzz makes a KILLING working for the Navy but Uncle Reggie and Aunt Abigail aren't that lucky. Anyways, Dad should be home soon. Meanwhile, I'm still hacking, swallowing, and breathing painfully. But I'm more worried about Poppy.
If only Bones were here.
Hugz
HM
(รก la Shatner's Captain Kirk) Concerned Granddaughter's Log. Stardate 64745.9. Yes, I actually calculated the stardate from STAR TREK. It's not that hard. Anyways, Poppy is worse off than we all thought. It turns out he needs a triple bypass surgery. He has three completely blocked arteries. The problem is that the doctors are reluctant to operate - though they already assured us they will on Saturday - because he's weak from the pneumonia he's had for the past while. I'm extremely worried. Dad is teaching tomorrow and then he's going straight up to Fort Yates to see Poppy. Lara and Dewey are still there. Dad's brother and sister-in-law, Uncle Buzz and Aunt Gia Walker, are coming up from Louisiana but Dad's sister and brother-in-law, Aunt Abigail and Uncle Reggie Potts, can't come. Buzz and Gia can come because Buzz makes a KILLING working for the Navy but Uncle Reggie and Aunt Abigail aren't that lucky. Anyways, Dad should be home soon. Meanwhile, I'm still hacking, swallowing, and breathing painfully. But I'm more worried about Poppy.
If only Bones were here.
Hugz
HM
Monday, March 28, 2011
Nothing's Going Right
Greetings.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY BLOG! WHEEEEEEE! I STARTED ON FRIDAY MARCH 26, 2010! WOW, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING YEAR! WAHOO!
Okay, time for the depressing stuff. As the intelligent ones among you readers can guess by the title, things are not going so hot for me. Let's start off with the easy one: I am sick. Not throwing-up-sick anymore, but I have a throat infection (though to me it feels like something else, but, hey, I can't see my own throat because I don't have a flashlight that small) and IT HURTS LIKE A @&^$(&@)&#$)^&)(*^&@(*^(*@*#$*^&@^^@*^$#&^*@&*(#*^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Obviously, I didn't really curse, but you get the idea.)
The sad part is, and I know I have addressed this a MILLION times before, that none of my sisters nor my best friend have called to ask me what's wrong. Bennie did last week on Thursday, but there was nothing on Wednesday. I went to school on Friday - had a choir festival, kicked MAJOR WELLER PREPARATORY ACADEMY SAILORS' BUTT! - but felt sick by the end. I stayed in bed from Saturday to today. I didn't go to church yesterday. (It's Monday @ 11:54 when I am writing this part.) Joseph didn't call, nor did Petrie, but I didn't expect him to. Today, I got a text from Chase and then a reply from an earlier text message I sent to William. THAT'S IT! THAT'S ALL THE CONSIDERATION I GET WHEN I AM SICK! I shall have you know, I always make an effort to call, visit, email excessively, or, at the least, text insanely until I know every detail and diagnosis of their illness. I was worried sick when Ally tore her ACL, but, because she was always so busy, I could never visit. Not for lack of trying; I asked at least once a day. And when Claire was sick, I called her three times to check on her. Joseph? I took home after school and then I stopped by Jackson's and got him a piece of cake. Joss? Bennie? Texts, calls, the whole shebang. They just live a whole lot farther than the others otherwise I would have visited. I'd do the same for Chase and the rest but Chase has never been sick in the short time I've known him and the others I call and do whatever the second I hear about them because I don't see them on a daily basis.
But me? Nah. Maybe I'd just be better off if I just left for a while. It's not like people notice. And you want to know the saddest part? When Nana and I went to the doctor today, I was praying that I had tonsillitis so that I could have my tonsils out. Why? Maybe people would notice a major surgery, the fact that I couldn't talk, the legal pad or white board in my hands. (Okay, now it's Tuesday @ 12:03. Just so you know.) Whenever I get sick, I think of this one story I read in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL FOR TEENS.
This girl was invisible at her high school, or so she felt. Always alone, no one spoke to her and she spoke to no one. I can't remember, but she was in between the ages of 15 and 17. One day, they diagnose her with ovarian cancer. She had her hysterectomy and suddenly she started to realize that people hadn't been shunning her; she had been shunning them. Whenever I get sick, I pray for it to be major so that I can have that happen to me. I know it's completely shallow and terrible and really REALLY pathetic, but that's what happens. Can you blame me? No one notices me when I'm well and not even my sisters/best friend notice when I'm sick. Which is sadder?
Oh, I forgot, there's worse news. Poppy, the man who is spending all of his money on me (and Bentley a little bit too, but not as much) is in the hospital with not only pneumonia BUT ALSO AN ANEURYSM IN ONE OF HIS MAJOR VEINS. Yeah, that's right. They wouldn't have noticed the aneurysm had he not gone in for pneumonia! He could have died! Dad's kind of shaking and he's been keeping close tabs on his half-brother, Dewey, and half-sister-in-law, Lara, for updates. I'm scared. This is why I hate people spending money on me. What if I never get to tell them thank you or pay them back? I want to talk to Poppy, but he's in ICU. Dad says he's fine and that the only thing he's complaining about is that he doesn't have his laptop to manage his stocks.
But I keep dwelling. He's a Christian Scientist and has been since his last wife, Nim, or Helena, died of pancreatic cancer about three years ago. He wouldn't even be in the hospital now if it weren't for Lara. She's monitoring him constantly and making sure he follows orders. I'm scared. I'm sorry, but I am. If you think it's wimpy of me to get all weepy about this, BACK THE HELL OFF. I am PMSing, I am sick, and I almost lost my grandfather. And for those of you heartless jerks out there who think I want his money? Shame on you. Then again, it's not my place to lay judgment.
GOD will punish you.
Hugz
HM
Dedicated to all of those frightened or suffering for a loved one. And everyone who is sick right this second. God bless.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MY BLOG! WHEEEEEEE! I STARTED ON FRIDAY MARCH 26, 2010! WOW, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING YEAR! WAHOO!
Okay, time for the depressing stuff. As the intelligent ones among you readers can guess by the title, things are not going so hot for me. Let's start off with the easy one: I am sick. Not throwing-up-sick anymore, but I have a throat infection (though to me it feels like something else, but, hey, I can't see my own throat because I don't have a flashlight that small) and IT HURTS LIKE A @&^$(&@)&#$)^&)(*^&@(*^(*@*#$*^&@^^@*^$#&^*@&*(#*^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Obviously, I didn't really curse, but you get the idea.)
The sad part is, and I know I have addressed this a MILLION times before, that none of my sisters nor my best friend have called to ask me what's wrong. Bennie did last week on Thursday, but there was nothing on Wednesday. I went to school on Friday - had a choir festival, kicked MAJOR WELLER PREPARATORY ACADEMY SAILORS' BUTT! - but felt sick by the end. I stayed in bed from Saturday to today. I didn't go to church yesterday. (It's Monday @ 11:54 when I am writing this part.) Joseph didn't call, nor did Petrie, but I didn't expect him to. Today, I got a text from Chase and then a reply from an earlier text message I sent to William. THAT'S IT! THAT'S ALL THE CONSIDERATION I GET WHEN I AM SICK! I shall have you know, I always make an effort to call, visit, email excessively, or, at the least, text insanely until I know every detail and diagnosis of their illness. I was worried sick when Ally tore her ACL, but, because she was always so busy, I could never visit. Not for lack of trying; I asked at least once a day. And when Claire was sick, I called her three times to check on her. Joseph? I took home after school and then I stopped by Jackson's and got him a piece of cake. Joss? Bennie? Texts, calls, the whole shebang. They just live a whole lot farther than the others otherwise I would have visited. I'd do the same for Chase and the rest but Chase has never been sick in the short time I've known him and the others I call and do whatever the second I hear about them because I don't see them on a daily basis.
But me? Nah. Maybe I'd just be better off if I just left for a while. It's not like people notice. And you want to know the saddest part? When Nana and I went to the doctor today, I was praying that I had tonsillitis so that I could have my tonsils out. Why? Maybe people would notice a major surgery, the fact that I couldn't talk, the legal pad or white board in my hands. (Okay, now it's Tuesday @ 12:03. Just so you know.) Whenever I get sick, I think of this one story I read in CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL FOR TEENS.
This girl was invisible at her high school, or so she felt. Always alone, no one spoke to her and she spoke to no one. I can't remember, but she was in between the ages of 15 and 17. One day, they diagnose her with ovarian cancer. She had her hysterectomy and suddenly she started to realize that people hadn't been shunning her; she had been shunning them. Whenever I get sick, I pray for it to be major so that I can have that happen to me. I know it's completely shallow and terrible and really REALLY pathetic, but that's what happens. Can you blame me? No one notices me when I'm well and not even my sisters/best friend notice when I'm sick. Which is sadder?
Oh, I forgot, there's worse news. Poppy, the man who is spending all of his money on me (and Bentley a little bit too, but not as much) is in the hospital with not only pneumonia BUT ALSO AN ANEURYSM IN ONE OF HIS MAJOR VEINS. Yeah, that's right. They wouldn't have noticed the aneurysm had he not gone in for pneumonia! He could have died! Dad's kind of shaking and he's been keeping close tabs on his half-brother, Dewey, and half-sister-in-law, Lara, for updates. I'm scared. This is why I hate people spending money on me. What if I never get to tell them thank you or pay them back? I want to talk to Poppy, but he's in ICU. Dad says he's fine and that the only thing he's complaining about is that he doesn't have his laptop to manage his stocks.
But I keep dwelling. He's a Christian Scientist and has been since his last wife, Nim, or Helena, died of pancreatic cancer about three years ago. He wouldn't even be in the hospital now if it weren't for Lara. She's monitoring him constantly and making sure he follows orders. I'm scared. I'm sorry, but I am. If you think it's wimpy of me to get all weepy about this, BACK THE HELL OFF. I am PMSing, I am sick, and I almost lost my grandfather. And for those of you heartless jerks out there who think I want his money? Shame on you. Then again, it's not my place to lay judgment.
GOD will punish you.
Hugz
HM
Dedicated to all of those frightened or suffering for a loved one. And everyone who is sick right this second. God bless.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Update
Greetings.
NEWS FLASH! LINKARA IS JUST AS AWESOME AS THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!!!!
Sorry, I had to put it there. I love Linkara. He is younger than the Critic and I think kind of cuter (but then again, I have weird tastes. If you've seen Joseph, you know.) than the Critic and he doesn't curse! I love him! <3
Okay, I'm done being crazy fangirl. I have been sick the last two days and I have done squat. AND I LOVE IT! I have been amazingly stressed and wired for the last few days. It's been agonizing and doing nothing for my health. Which is probably why I got sick. Not like KOFF KOFF HACK HACK can't breathe sick, but spill-your-guts sick. Sorry. Anyways, I did do some of my Spanish homework and I got a lot of my English done, so yay me, but Bev still wants me to call this place about a job, I still have to cook, clean, and pick up Bentley, and do everything else around here. What part of "BLEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGHHH!" doesn't anyone understand?
Yeah, I know I am griping but I've been kind of pissy the last few days. I apologize sincerely. Staying home all day makes me antsy but I don't feel like going anywhere because I'm sick. Ugh, this is why I hate being sick. It's no fun. Sure, some people play video games. But I don't for two reasons. One: I really suck at video games. Yeah, I try and learn about video games, and I LOVE watching them, but I can't play first person shooters because they make me dizzy, online games I can't get the controls down on, and other video games are either too hard or complicated. Here is the complete list of video games I can kick butt while playing:
Marvel Ultimate Alliance (XBOX 360 and PS2)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS2. Boy, did THAT take me forever)
Teen Titans (PS2)
Soul Caliber IV (XBOX 360)
LEGO Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Star Wars: The Original Trilogy (PS2, XBOX 360, and PS2 respectively)
And that's it! And the second reason: Dr. Craig said it would be a good idea for Bentley to stay home today. No reason, or at least none that I get told. So Bentley plays video games all day instead of doing the homework I KNOW he has because I had the exact same teachers in eighth grade that he has now. I have done most of mine. I just have to finish up the more tedious assignments. He hasn't done DIDDLY.
Ugh, just thinking about it is making me frustrated and making my stomach hurt, so I am moving on. I don't know if I've said this but MY THEATER TROUPE IS DOING MY ADAPTATION OF "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS"! If I have said this before, I'm sorry. If I haven't, BOO-YAH I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!
Okay, now I am REALLY feeling sick... I gotta go.
Hugz
HM
NEWS FLASH! LINKARA IS JUST AS AWESOME AS THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!!!!
Sorry, I had to put it there. I love Linkara. He is younger than the Critic and I think kind of cuter (but then again, I have weird tastes. If you've seen Joseph, you know.) than the Critic and he doesn't curse! I love him! <3
Okay, I'm done being crazy fangirl. I have been sick the last two days and I have done squat. AND I LOVE IT! I have been amazingly stressed and wired for the last few days. It's been agonizing and doing nothing for my health. Which is probably why I got sick. Not like KOFF KOFF HACK HACK can't breathe sick, but spill-your-guts sick. Sorry. Anyways, I did do some of my Spanish homework and I got a lot of my English done, so yay me, but Bev still wants me to call this place about a job, I still have to cook, clean, and pick up Bentley, and do everything else around here. What part of "BLEEEEEEAAAAAAGGGGHHH!" doesn't anyone understand?
Yeah, I know I am griping but I've been kind of pissy the last few days. I apologize sincerely. Staying home all day makes me antsy but I don't feel like going anywhere because I'm sick. Ugh, this is why I hate being sick. It's no fun. Sure, some people play video games. But I don't for two reasons. One: I really suck at video games. Yeah, I try and learn about video games, and I LOVE watching them, but I can't play first person shooters because they make me dizzy, online games I can't get the controls down on, and other video games are either too hard or complicated. Here is the complete list of video games I can kick butt while playing:
Marvel Ultimate Alliance (XBOX 360 and PS2)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS2. Boy, did THAT take me forever)
Teen Titans (PS2)
Soul Caliber IV (XBOX 360)
LEGO Star Wars, Harry Potter, and Star Wars: The Original Trilogy (PS2, XBOX 360, and PS2 respectively)
And that's it! And the second reason: Dr. Craig said it would be a good idea for Bentley to stay home today. No reason, or at least none that I get told. So Bentley plays video games all day instead of doing the homework I KNOW he has because I had the exact same teachers in eighth grade that he has now. I have done most of mine. I just have to finish up the more tedious assignments. He hasn't done DIDDLY.
Ugh, just thinking about it is making me frustrated and making my stomach hurt, so I am moving on. I don't know if I've said this but MY THEATER TROUPE IS DOING MY ADAPTATION OF "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS"! If I have said this before, I'm sorry. If I haven't, BOO-YAH I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!
Okay, now I am REALLY feeling sick... I gotta go.
Hugz
HM
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Animal and Prius
Greetings.
I think my Poppy needs a new hobby. The hobby he has now? BUYING ME CARS. I mean, my gosh, he JUST gave me Animal last month - LITERALLY LESS THAN A MONTH AGO - and NOW he wants me to test drive A FREAKING PRIUS. My gosh, what am I gonna tell Animal? I just got my license plate - "HMANML" - for Animal. Plus, I put a sticky flag on the window. STICKY. I am worried that I am going to damage him. And that's IF he buys me the Prius. Good grief, I know I shouldn't be complaining about getting ANOTHER new car - I mean, how evil is Poppy? - but I am worried that he's going to bankrupt himself when he was already generous enough to just GIVE me Animal. Maybe I'll get another red car and name it Animal so I can keep the license plates... Anyways, yeah, I might get a Prius. I just wanted to tell you.
Hugz
HM
I think my Poppy needs a new hobby. The hobby he has now? BUYING ME CARS. I mean, my gosh, he JUST gave me Animal last month - LITERALLY LESS THAN A MONTH AGO - and NOW he wants me to test drive A FREAKING PRIUS. My gosh, what am I gonna tell Animal? I just got my license plate - "HMANML" - for Animal. Plus, I put a sticky flag on the window. STICKY. I am worried that I am going to damage him. And that's IF he buys me the Prius. Good grief, I know I shouldn't be complaining about getting ANOTHER new car - I mean, how evil is Poppy? - but I am worried that he's going to bankrupt himself when he was already generous enough to just GIVE me Animal. Maybe I'll get another red car and name it Animal so I can keep the license plates... Anyways, yeah, I might get a Prius. I just wanted to tell you.
Hugz
HM
Monday, March 7, 2011
Punching Bag
Greetings.
I could use a bag of ice for my knuckles on both hands right now, but then Bev and Dad (maybe Bentley too) would ask questions and I don't really feel like talking right now. So, I'll just type.
I like Mrs. Yates, the librarian. We get along, talk about books, and agree on most things. So much so, that now I work for her, as I am fairly sure I mentioned before, every sixth period. Well, I am not alone. Here are the cast of characters in what has become my daily hell a.k.a. sixth period:
Serena Kyle - senior, slutty ho-bag, all-around b***h, lazy, harasses me, makes me out to be the bad guy for doing my work, slacker, idiot, doesn't listen or take direction, purposefully distracts others, smack-talker.
Sarah Jones - junior, see above.
Porter "Pothead" Travers - junior, lazy, fazed, smack-talker, harasses me almost as much as Sarah and Serena, constantly zoning out, perpetually looks as if he's stoned, hence the nickname, dumb as a box of hair.
Brody Hopkins - senior, the only one I can even come close to tolerate, quiet, shy, deaf in one ear, keeps to himself, pretty smart.
Now, why am I telling you this? Well, I'm introducing these people to you so you will understand why I made Joseph hold up my backpack in front of him so I could hit it repeatedly like a punching bag after school. (By the way, I need a new backpack.)
For months - MONTHS - Sarah and Serena having been doing nothing except for the few times I do their job and they take the credit. Fine. Pothead does the same thing. Fine. I don't care. But today, I had had it. We had built displays and Mrs. Yates had told Serena, Sarah, Pothead, Brody, and I to clear displays. Guess who was the only one who did it. Brody went into the back to read after he shelved his section of books that had been returned. Pothead, Serena, and Sarah got on the front computers even though it's only Pothead's week to do circulation desk. Serena and Sarah are whispering about me and looking up picture of mostly naked guys. (These are the same girls who, last Friday, had thought it would be funny to flash me through the window of Mrs. Yates's office while I was working at the front desk. Mrs. Yates, Pothead, and Brody were elsewhere.) I am putting away four tables worth of books - I counted over 100, I swear on the life of my mother - cleaning the tables, straightening chairs, AND shelving my section of books, which just so happens to house the manga section, our library's most popular section. All of this is going on while Mrs. Yates is trying to instruct a class on the proper use of our school's databases.
Now you know the set up, here's what happened:
A student comes in to check out a book. Okay. I am shelving the displays in the 300 section of the library. Then I hear the grating whine of "HarmoneeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeee" from Serena, who always leaves off the "Margaret" even though I have reminded her scores of times. "What?" I yell back. "We need the security code!" Sarah moaned. "I don't know it!" "Go ask Mrs. Yates!" Serena orders. "It's Pothead's job, it's his week at circ desk, make him get off his lazy butt and do it! And you two aren't even supposed to be up there!" "It's none of your business! Just go get the code!" Sarah snaps. Meanwhile, the student, who is supposed to be our first priority is just staring at the scene. Three minutes passed and no one had gotten Mrs. Yates. I finally decided I had had enough and went to Mrs. Yates and asked for the code. She gave it to me, I typed it into the computer, and got the student his book. During this whole thing, Serena and Sarah were smack-talking me and being purposefully rude to the student. I told them to shut up, gave the student his book, politely instructed him to have a nice day, and went back to the fourth table of books I had been working on.
Five minutes after this little episode, Mrs. Yates finishes teaching and comes back to the circ desk to ask how things went. SERENA AND SARAH SAID THAT I NOT ONLY TOLD THEM TO SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK, BUT THAT I HAD ANTAGONIZED OUR GUEST AND DID NO WORK! PLUS, THEY LIED AND SAID THAT THEY HAD CLEANED UP TWO TABLES WORTH OF DISPLAY WHEN IN FACT THEY HAD SAT AT THE COMPUTER TRYING TO LOOK UP PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES ON BING! Pothead didn't say anything. From Mrs. Yates's tone, she sounded skeptical, but that she may believe them.
I had had it. I stormed over to the circ desk, said sternly "If you're going to lie about me, then have the courtesy not to do it while I'm in the same room!" to Serena, ran into the back bathroom, and began to cry. I had been putting up with their insults, their lewd comments, their constant prodding, their disturbing questions (They kept asking me about my sex life and if I was a virgin. It makes me uncomfortable, mostly because these are the kinds of girls that like to see you squirm and who will use any information you give them to make you feel even smaller.), and their flashing. I finally broke. Give me a break. I haven't cried at school in a while.
After I reemerged from the bathroom, Mrs. Yates came back and asked me my side. I told her and she believed me. Now here's the part that made me mad. Earlier this year, I used her email to try and help a student. The consequence? Removal of most of my privileges for the rest of the month. And last week Mrs. Yates fired a girl from one of her other classes for bad work. What do these girls and Pothead get for A) doing absolutely no work for the past three quarters, B) harassing me, C) disrespecting a patron of the library, D) misusing school property, and E) framing me for antagonizing a student when in reality I had been the only one who had helped him?
They get a small lecture - not even two minutes long - on how we all need to "work together or else we'll fall apart". WHAT THE @%%$&^@%&*^%&^@(^*^&#$%*^!%(*^@#(&%@*^%#(&^@(^@*^%@#(&#()^@*&%@(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! THIS IS THE KIND OF CRAP YOU GIVE LITTLE FOUR-YEAR-OLDS WHO ARE FIGHTING OVER A TOY! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL WITH DESTRUCTIVE TEENAGED LOAFERS!
I was so frustrated, to put it lightly. After school, I just broke again. I told Ernie, Todd, Claire, and Joseph what happened and I cried again. Ernie and Claire group hugged me. I don't know about Todd and Joseph. And then when I finished crying, I asked Joseph to hold my backpack up in front of him, which he did, and I beat the snot out of it. My knuckles are still red and painful. And I want to cry again. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Mrs. Yates. I don't know what I'm going to say yet...
Hugz
HM
I could use a bag of ice for my knuckles on both hands right now, but then Bev and Dad (maybe Bentley too) would ask questions and I don't really feel like talking right now. So, I'll just type.
I like Mrs. Yates, the librarian. We get along, talk about books, and agree on most things. So much so, that now I work for her, as I am fairly sure I mentioned before, every sixth period. Well, I am not alone. Here are the cast of characters in what has become my daily hell a.k.a. sixth period:
Serena Kyle - senior, slutty ho-bag, all-around b***h, lazy, harasses me, makes me out to be the bad guy for doing my work, slacker, idiot, doesn't listen or take direction, purposefully distracts others, smack-talker.
Sarah Jones - junior, see above.
Porter "Pothead" Travers - junior, lazy, fazed, smack-talker, harasses me almost as much as Sarah and Serena, constantly zoning out, perpetually looks as if he's stoned, hence the nickname, dumb as a box of hair.
Brody Hopkins - senior, the only one I can even come close to tolerate, quiet, shy, deaf in one ear, keeps to himself, pretty smart.
Now, why am I telling you this? Well, I'm introducing these people to you so you will understand why I made Joseph hold up my backpack in front of him so I could hit it repeatedly like a punching bag after school. (By the way, I need a new backpack.)
For months - MONTHS - Sarah and Serena having been doing nothing except for the few times I do their job and they take the credit. Fine. Pothead does the same thing. Fine. I don't care. But today, I had had it. We had built displays and Mrs. Yates had told Serena, Sarah, Pothead, Brody, and I to clear displays. Guess who was the only one who did it. Brody went into the back to read after he shelved his section of books that had been returned. Pothead, Serena, and Sarah got on the front computers even though it's only Pothead's week to do circulation desk. Serena and Sarah are whispering about me and looking up picture of mostly naked guys. (These are the same girls who, last Friday, had thought it would be funny to flash me through the window of Mrs. Yates's office while I was working at the front desk. Mrs. Yates, Pothead, and Brody were elsewhere.) I am putting away four tables worth of books - I counted over 100, I swear on the life of my mother - cleaning the tables, straightening chairs, AND shelving my section of books, which just so happens to house the manga section, our library's most popular section. All of this is going on while Mrs. Yates is trying to instruct a class on the proper use of our school's databases.
Now you know the set up, here's what happened:
A student comes in to check out a book. Okay. I am shelving the displays in the 300 section of the library. Then I hear the grating whine of "HarmoneeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeee" from Serena, who always leaves off the "Margaret" even though I have reminded her scores of times. "What?" I yell back. "We need the security code!" Sarah moaned. "I don't know it!" "Go ask Mrs. Yates!" Serena orders. "It's Pothead's job, it's his week at circ desk, make him get off his lazy butt and do it! And you two aren't even supposed to be up there!" "It's none of your business! Just go get the code!" Sarah snaps. Meanwhile, the student, who is supposed to be our first priority is just staring at the scene. Three minutes passed and no one had gotten Mrs. Yates. I finally decided I had had enough and went to Mrs. Yates and asked for the code. She gave it to me, I typed it into the computer, and got the student his book. During this whole thing, Serena and Sarah were smack-talking me and being purposefully rude to the student. I told them to shut up, gave the student his book, politely instructed him to have a nice day, and went back to the fourth table of books I had been working on.
Five minutes after this little episode, Mrs. Yates finishes teaching and comes back to the circ desk to ask how things went. SERENA AND SARAH SAID THAT I NOT ONLY TOLD THEM TO SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK, BUT THAT I HAD ANTAGONIZED OUR GUEST AND DID NO WORK! PLUS, THEY LIED AND SAID THAT THEY HAD CLEANED UP TWO TABLES WORTH OF DISPLAY WHEN IN FACT THEY HAD SAT AT THE COMPUTER TRYING TO LOOK UP PORNOGRAPHIC IMAGES ON BING! Pothead didn't say anything. From Mrs. Yates's tone, she sounded skeptical, but that she may believe them.
I had had it. I stormed over to the circ desk, said sternly "If you're going to lie about me, then have the courtesy not to do it while I'm in the same room!" to Serena, ran into the back bathroom, and began to cry. I had been putting up with their insults, their lewd comments, their constant prodding, their disturbing questions (They kept asking me about my sex life and if I was a virgin. It makes me uncomfortable, mostly because these are the kinds of girls that like to see you squirm and who will use any information you give them to make you feel even smaller.), and their flashing. I finally broke. Give me a break. I haven't cried at school in a while.
After I reemerged from the bathroom, Mrs. Yates came back and asked me my side. I told her and she believed me. Now here's the part that made me mad. Earlier this year, I used her email to try and help a student. The consequence? Removal of most of my privileges for the rest of the month. And last week Mrs. Yates fired a girl from one of her other classes for bad work. What do these girls and Pothead get for A) doing absolutely no work for the past three quarters, B) harassing me, C) disrespecting a patron of the library, D) misusing school property, and E) framing me for antagonizing a student when in reality I had been the only one who had helped him?
They get a small lecture - not even two minutes long - on how we all need to "work together or else we'll fall apart". WHAT THE @%%$&^@%&*^%&^@(^*^&#$%*^!%(*^@#(&%@*^%#(&^@(^@*^%@#(&#()^@*&%@(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO! THIS IS THE KIND OF CRAP YOU GIVE LITTLE FOUR-YEAR-OLDS WHO ARE FIGHTING OVER A TOY! THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DEAL WITH DESTRUCTIVE TEENAGED LOAFERS!
I was so frustrated, to put it lightly. After school, I just broke again. I told Ernie, Todd, Claire, and Joseph what happened and I cried again. Ernie and Claire group hugged me. I don't know about Todd and Joseph. And then when I finished crying, I asked Joseph to hold my backpack up in front of him, which he did, and I beat the snot out of it. My knuckles are still red and painful. And I want to cry again. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Mrs. Yates. I don't know what I'm going to say yet...
Hugz
HM
Friday, March 4, 2011
Can't Make Up My Mind
Greetings.
Anyone ever notice how indecisive I am? I know it's kind of self-centered to bring this up, but I am. I can't make a solid decision on anything. I have no favorite movie, song, artist, actor/actress, manga series, nothing! Well, okay, NOTHING may be a bit too harsh, I have SOME things that I have decided for sure. Like, for instance, I made up what I wanted to do for the next twenty years of my life. Everything; where I want to live, who I want to marry, where I want to work, when I want to have kids, their names, everything. (Actually, I have a LONG list of names to sift through, but I have it kind of narrowed down. Second thought, forget I mentioned it.) Also, I have decided that my favorite author is Meg Cabot. Her books are vivid, clever, have a brazen heroine, and ALWAYS have a happy ending.
I DETEST sad endings or anti-climactic endings in a book. LOATHE them. DESPISE them. I just got done reading a great book, until I got to the end. It's called HOW TO SAY GOODBYE IN ROBOT.
Off track. But that just illustrated my point! I can't even pick a topic to stick to! Sweet crispy cinnamon rolls, I need some sort of help!
Hugz
HM
Anyone ever notice how indecisive I am? I know it's kind of self-centered to bring this up, but I am. I can't make a solid decision on anything. I have no favorite movie, song, artist, actor/actress, manga series, nothing! Well, okay, NOTHING may be a bit too harsh, I have SOME things that I have decided for sure. Like, for instance, I made up what I wanted to do for the next twenty years of my life. Everything; where I want to live, who I want to marry, where I want to work, when I want to have kids, their names, everything. (Actually, I have a LONG list of names to sift through, but I have it kind of narrowed down. Second thought, forget I mentioned it.) Also, I have decided that my favorite author is Meg Cabot. Her books are vivid, clever, have a brazen heroine, and ALWAYS have a happy ending.
I DETEST sad endings or anti-climactic endings in a book. LOATHE them. DESPISE them. I just got done reading a great book, until I got to the end. It's called HOW TO SAY GOODBYE IN ROBOT.
Off track. But that just illustrated my point! I can't even pick a topic to stick to! Sweet crispy cinnamon rolls, I need some sort of help!
Hugz
HM
Monday, February 28, 2011
Life... And What We Must Put Up With In It
Greetings.
Life sucks. Anyone else notice this? Of course you do, who hasn't? That's the harder question. Right now, I am going to give you a few tips on how to live life. Or not. It all depends on you. (That's not the first tip, but you can take it or leave it.)
1) If you're happy now, keep being happy for as long as you can. Example: Claire and Jean-Luc broke up again earlier today, 2/28. I don't know if I told you all or not but Jean-Luc dumped Claire in January so he could date another girl (DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!) and I was pissed. Claire was depressed, I could tell, despite her facade. She can't fool me. And I don't care if I get reamed out by her for this, but I have to say it: she should not have taken him back. He started dating Lizzie Gomez LESS THAN A WEEK after he and she broke up. I really was pissed, as were most of her friends, especially Ernie and William. (Moral I could care less about.) Well, about a month ago, she took him back. And earlier today, they broke up again. Why? "It was inevitable" was pretty much the only valid reason she gave me. THAT'S NUTS! That's like saying, "It's inevitable that we're all going to die, so why don't we all go kill ourselves?" BE HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU CAN, UNLESS IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT AN OPTION, BE FRICKING HAPPY.
2) Expect the unexpected.
3) Learn when to stop. Example: Joseph was in our theater troupe's performance of PINOCCHIO and boy was he the cutest Gepetto that ever walked the earth. He was also the only one with an Italian accent. Well, for some reason, Joseph doesn't like to sing, or at least he only sings "when he feels like it". But he sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" at the end of the show with the rest of the cast and I could hear him because his microphone was up. Now, I hounded this all day at lunch today, singing lines from the song in a helium voice so he would try to gag me, smush my face, and get play mad at me in general. I can tell when he's really mad; no one is safe. But when he's play mad - which means he's really enjoying the attention that I give him, but I'm still kind of annoying him, a talent I have - he does things like try to stop me. I know when to stop. Usually it's after the chorus, but today I was tired so I quit early. ;)
4) Laugh. At EVERY opportunity. It's a blessing to laugh, a release. It's better than blogging. Ha ha. Here's the last one.
5) Learn how to say goodbye and hello. This is the lesson I have the most problems with. I can't say goodbye. I still have BARBIES from when I was three. I am a pack rat, but that's not really what I mean. Here's the example: Allyson, my hero and my oldest friend, is leaving, going 1,200 miles southwest to a little-not-so-little college called USC. Now, I hardly see her as is, what with her supremely busy schedule. But I can't fly 1200 miles to dye Easter eggs, exchange birthday/Christmas presents (by the way, yes, I still have her Christmas presents), go trick-or-treating, or just hang out and talk with her. She is my guiding light, my Clarence the Angel, my Jiminy Cricket. And now I have to say goodbye for God knows how long. There isn't much here in East Westerfield to bring her back and I'm planning on staying here. What am I going to do? I am terrible with goodbyes; I blubber worse than a baby. And now I'm going to have to say goodbye to Allyson Vivian Clay, who is practically my sister, for I don't know how long.
And you know what scares me the most? I'm scared that she, and all of my other friends - Joseph, Bennie, Joss, Claire - will go away and never come back for me.
Okay, I have GOT to stop now. I'm crying.
Hugz
HM
Life sucks. Anyone else notice this? Of course you do, who hasn't? That's the harder question. Right now, I am going to give you a few tips on how to live life. Or not. It all depends on you. (That's not the first tip, but you can take it or leave it.)
1) If you're happy now, keep being happy for as long as you can. Example: Claire and Jean-Luc broke up again earlier today, 2/28. I don't know if I told you all or not but Jean-Luc dumped Claire in January so he could date another girl (DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!) and I was pissed. Claire was depressed, I could tell, despite her facade. She can't fool me. And I don't care if I get reamed out by her for this, but I have to say it: she should not have taken him back. He started dating Lizzie Gomez LESS THAN A WEEK after he and she broke up. I really was pissed, as were most of her friends, especially Ernie and William. (Moral I could care less about.) Well, about a month ago, she took him back. And earlier today, they broke up again. Why? "It was inevitable" was pretty much the only valid reason she gave me. THAT'S NUTS! That's like saying, "It's inevitable that we're all going to die, so why don't we all go kill ourselves?" BE HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU CAN, UNLESS IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT AN OPTION, BE FRICKING HAPPY.
2) Expect the unexpected.
3) Learn when to stop. Example: Joseph was in our theater troupe's performance of PINOCCHIO and boy was he the cutest Gepetto that ever walked the earth. He was also the only one with an Italian accent. Well, for some reason, Joseph doesn't like to sing, or at least he only sings "when he feels like it". But he sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" at the end of the show with the rest of the cast and I could hear him because his microphone was up. Now, I hounded this all day at lunch today, singing lines from the song in a helium voice so he would try to gag me, smush my face, and get play mad at me in general. I can tell when he's really mad; no one is safe. But when he's play mad - which means he's really enjoying the attention that I give him, but I'm still kind of annoying him, a talent I have - he does things like try to stop me. I know when to stop. Usually it's after the chorus, but today I was tired so I quit early. ;)
4) Laugh. At EVERY opportunity. It's a blessing to laugh, a release. It's better than blogging. Ha ha. Here's the last one.
5) Learn how to say goodbye and hello. This is the lesson I have the most problems with. I can't say goodbye. I still have BARBIES from when I was three. I am a pack rat, but that's not really what I mean. Here's the example: Allyson, my hero and my oldest friend, is leaving, going 1,200 miles southwest to a little-not-so-little college called USC. Now, I hardly see her as is, what with her supremely busy schedule. But I can't fly 1200 miles to dye Easter eggs, exchange birthday/Christmas presents (by the way, yes, I still have her Christmas presents), go trick-or-treating, or just hang out and talk with her. She is my guiding light, my Clarence the Angel, my Jiminy Cricket. And now I have to say goodbye for God knows how long. There isn't much here in East Westerfield to bring her back and I'm planning on staying here. What am I going to do? I am terrible with goodbyes; I blubber worse than a baby. And now I'm going to have to say goodbye to Allyson Vivian Clay, who is practically my sister, for I don't know how long.
And you know what scares me the most? I'm scared that she, and all of my other friends - Joseph, Bennie, Joss, Claire - will go away and never come back for me.
Okay, I have GOT to stop now. I'm crying.
Hugz
HM
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Mental Health Day
Greetings.
Has anyone else heard of/taken advantage of a "mental health day"? I first heard of it in my third favorite romantic comedy movie (okay, this movie is a little bit more than a rom-com, i.e. a road trip movie, a music movie, but I just describe it as a rom-com and it's my third favorite) NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST starring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings. In the movie, Cera's character, Nick, tries to take a mental health day in order to get out of playing a gig in the city that evening because he's still upset that his super mega-foxy awesome hot (*catchphrase copyrighted by A VERY POTTER MUSICAL) girlfriend, Tris, dumped him.
Obviously, nobody dumped me, but I needed a mental health day. Yesterday was just amazingly sucky - I didn't talk, barely smiled, I felt squashed - and I just needed a day to myself. Unfortunately, Bev and Bentley are home today too, so the day to myself is kind of defeated. (Darn! I can't walk around naked. JUST KIDDING. Ha ha.)
What have I done with my day? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND IT'S BEEN REALLY REFRESHING. In fact, I am debating whether or not to take a nap after I finish this. So far, the nap is winning even though I slept in until 10:30 this morning. Boy, I love mental health days.
Hugz
HM
Has anyone else heard of/taken advantage of a "mental health day"? I first heard of it in my third favorite romantic comedy movie (okay, this movie is a little bit more than a rom-com, i.e. a road trip movie, a music movie, but I just describe it as a rom-com and it's my third favorite) NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST starring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings. In the movie, Cera's character, Nick, tries to take a mental health day in order to get out of playing a gig in the city that evening because he's still upset that his super mega-foxy awesome hot (*catchphrase copyrighted by A VERY POTTER MUSICAL) girlfriend, Tris, dumped him.
Obviously, nobody dumped me, but I needed a mental health day. Yesterday was just amazingly sucky - I didn't talk, barely smiled, I felt squashed - and I just needed a day to myself. Unfortunately, Bev and Bentley are home today too, so the day to myself is kind of defeated. (Darn! I can't walk around naked. JUST KIDDING. Ha ha.)
What have I done with my day? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND IT'S BEEN REALLY REFRESHING. In fact, I am debating whether or not to take a nap after I finish this. So far, the nap is winning even though I slept in until 10:30 this morning. Boy, I love mental health days.
Hugz
HM
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Alone... and Hairspray
Greetings.
Why is it that when I want to be alone the most, people always come at me, demanding me to be social and hang out and "stop being such a grouch, HM, and play Scrabble with us!" I am fairly solitary, happy in myself and my thoughts. But then, when I want company the most, like when I'm driving home after school in Animal... I don't have anyone. Claire joined the stupid swim team (WHO THE HELL IN NORTH DAKOTA WOULD SWIM IN JANUARY/FEBRUARY?) and Joseph, Ernie, William, and Todd already have rides home the days that they don't have band practice. Or in AP English class. We're separated by sixes (sometimes sevens) into discussion groups all the time. I am in the back of the room all alone. I'm completely serious here. My AP English class is full of that rare breed of animal: the SMART popular jerks. So the one class I wish I had someone to talk to, they're busy talking about whose party whom went to, what Snooki did on JERSEY SHORE last night, and crap like that while I sit silently in the back of the class, six empty desks surrounding me (because when Mrs. Frost initially placed us at the beginning of the semester, she actually did place everyone in even groups, except no one listens to the seating chart), and don't speak unless Mrs. Frost calls on me. WHY COULDN'T JOSEPH BE IN THIS CLASS WITH ME? HE HAS IT, BUT THE PERIOD BEFORE MINE!
I'm sorry... I just had a really crappy day. I was all alone again, Dad and I had another fight (I'm not at Nana and Gramps's house, don't worry), Joseph mad me angry when he chose his band friends whom he sees for hours upon hours a day over me, and I just found out that this fifty-year-old woman got the part of Tracy in HAIRSPRAY that I just auditioned for on Sunday. That's right. You read it right. Tracy Turnblad, a seventeen-year-old chubby girl, is not going to be played by a seventeen-year-old chubby girl (ME) but by Rosanna Salazar, a late-forties fat woman with wrinkles all over her face. SHE'S PLAYING MY DREAM ROLE AND I KNOW I AUDITIONED BETTER THAN HER! Bev and Dad say it's politics. NO CRAP, SHERLOCK! I can't catch a break... this isn't my little junior theater troupe. No, this is the big leagues. These people are weird. If they could cast a twenty-year-old as little orphan Annie, they would. They ALWAYS cast old. ALWAYS. But I thought if I could go in and wow them with my songs, acting, and dancing, then I'd be okay. But no. I'm not old and fat. I'm young and fat. AND APPARENTLY THAT BARS ME FROM EVERY SINGLE GOSHDANG PART I COULD EVER PLAY, EVEN IF IT WAS PRACTICALLY WRITTEN FOR ME! And the worst part is that Rosanna is GOING TO HAVE TO KISS A YOUNG HOT GUY! THAT IS JUST SO MANY FLAVORS OF WRONG THAT YOU COULD PUT IT IN A BLENDER, PRESS PUREE, DRINK IT, AND IT WOULD HAVE THE COMBINED TASTES OF DOG CRAP!
I know I'm ranting, but I can't cry today so I am going to do as much online yelling as I dang well please. Sue me.
Hugz
HM
Why is it that when I want to be alone the most, people always come at me, demanding me to be social and hang out and "stop being such a grouch, HM, and play Scrabble with us!" I am fairly solitary, happy in myself and my thoughts. But then, when I want company the most, like when I'm driving home after school in Animal... I don't have anyone. Claire joined the stupid swim team (WHO THE HELL IN NORTH DAKOTA WOULD SWIM IN JANUARY/FEBRUARY?) and Joseph, Ernie, William, and Todd already have rides home the days that they don't have band practice. Or in AP English class. We're separated by sixes (sometimes sevens) into discussion groups all the time. I am in the back of the room all alone. I'm completely serious here. My AP English class is full of that rare breed of animal: the SMART popular jerks. So the one class I wish I had someone to talk to, they're busy talking about whose party whom went to, what Snooki did on JERSEY SHORE last night, and crap like that while I sit silently in the back of the class, six empty desks surrounding me (because when Mrs. Frost initially placed us at the beginning of the semester, she actually did place everyone in even groups, except no one listens to the seating chart), and don't speak unless Mrs. Frost calls on me. WHY COULDN'T JOSEPH BE IN THIS CLASS WITH ME? HE HAS IT, BUT THE PERIOD BEFORE MINE!
I'm sorry... I just had a really crappy day. I was all alone again, Dad and I had another fight (I'm not at Nana and Gramps's house, don't worry), Joseph mad me angry when he chose his band friends whom he sees for hours upon hours a day over me, and I just found out that this fifty-year-old woman got the part of Tracy in HAIRSPRAY that I just auditioned for on Sunday. That's right. You read it right. Tracy Turnblad, a seventeen-year-old chubby girl, is not going to be played by a seventeen-year-old chubby girl (ME) but by Rosanna Salazar, a late-forties fat woman with wrinkles all over her face. SHE'S PLAYING MY DREAM ROLE AND I KNOW I AUDITIONED BETTER THAN HER! Bev and Dad say it's politics. NO CRAP, SHERLOCK! I can't catch a break... this isn't my little junior theater troupe. No, this is the big leagues. These people are weird. If they could cast a twenty-year-old as little orphan Annie, they would. They ALWAYS cast old. ALWAYS. But I thought if I could go in and wow them with my songs, acting, and dancing, then I'd be okay. But no. I'm not old and fat. I'm young and fat. AND APPARENTLY THAT BARS ME FROM EVERY SINGLE GOSHDANG PART I COULD EVER PLAY, EVEN IF IT WAS PRACTICALLY WRITTEN FOR ME! And the worst part is that Rosanna is GOING TO HAVE TO KISS A YOUNG HOT GUY! THAT IS JUST SO MANY FLAVORS OF WRONG THAT YOU COULD PUT IT IN A BLENDER, PRESS PUREE, DRINK IT, AND IT WOULD HAVE THE COMBINED TASTES OF DOG CRAP!
I know I'm ranting, but I can't cry today so I am going to do as much online yelling as I dang well please. Sue me.
Hugz
HM
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Poppy's Present
Greetings.
Yeah, I guess I haven't posted in a while. I could say I was busy, but that would kind of be a lie. I mean, I had stuff to do, but I wasn't BUSY busy. I think it might have been that I haven't had much to report. I went to formal (YUCK) and I had no fun. Allyson got a full-ride scholarship to USC. I'm proud of her, but I wish she'd stay close. I'm staying in East Westerfield, going to the community college and then to University of Mary. Sigh... I don't want her to go, but I want her to. I really hate this emotion. Yuck.
BUT ANYWAYS. My mixed emotions about my oldest friend's college choices is NOT why you are reading this. You want to know what Poppy's present is. Well, here it is: a bright red 2011 Chevy Raptor with two extra wheels on the back. Hell, yes. HELL, YES! My gosh, this thing is amazing! I LOVE the bigness! When I drive down the street, GUYS SWERVE THEIR HEADS AROUND AND LOOK AT MY CAR! AWOOOOOOOO!!! (insert Tim Allen grunt here) I feel amazing! And you know how I named my other little green car Kermit?
Well, there is only one name for my monster. ANIMAL! ANIMAL! AH AH AH!!! Hells, yes, this thing is amazing and it's all MINE!!!!!!!!!
Sorry. I just wanted to brag about my new truck. Oh, and another thing:
I'M BACK AND BADDER THAN EVER! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Hugz
HM
Yeah, I guess I haven't posted in a while. I could say I was busy, but that would kind of be a lie. I mean, I had stuff to do, but I wasn't BUSY busy. I think it might have been that I haven't had much to report. I went to formal (YUCK) and I had no fun. Allyson got a full-ride scholarship to USC. I'm proud of her, but I wish she'd stay close. I'm staying in East Westerfield, going to the community college and then to University of Mary. Sigh... I don't want her to go, but I want her to. I really hate this emotion. Yuck.
BUT ANYWAYS. My mixed emotions about my oldest friend's college choices is NOT why you are reading this. You want to know what Poppy's present is. Well, here it is: a bright red 2011 Chevy Raptor with two extra wheels on the back. Hell, yes. HELL, YES! My gosh, this thing is amazing! I LOVE the bigness! When I drive down the street, GUYS SWERVE THEIR HEADS AROUND AND LOOK AT MY CAR! AWOOOOOOOO!!! (insert Tim Allen grunt here) I feel amazing! And you know how I named my other little green car Kermit?
Well, there is only one name for my monster. ANIMAL! ANIMAL! AH AH AH!!! Hells, yes, this thing is amazing and it's all MINE!!!!!!!!!
Sorry. I just wanted to brag about my new truck. Oh, and another thing:
I'M BACK AND BADDER THAN EVER! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Hugz
HM
Friday, January 21, 2011
Girls' Day Out
Greetings.
For the males who read this (which happen to be none), girls love having days to themselves, especially if it's with a group of their closest friends. Traditionally, they'll spend the entire day shopping and spending your mortgage money, but this isn't always the case. Bev, Wanda, and their posse hang around at one of their houses, drink wine/beer, watch chick flicks, and gossip. Basically what I am leading up to is the entire after school day - from 3 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. (curfew's at 11) - became a girls' day out for me and Claire, except Joseph got thrown in at the end.
I drive Claire home almost everyday after school. We didn't have Gamer's Club and I didn't have to pick up Bentley from school, so we thought "Hey! Let's have a day to ourselves!" And we did. We went to see the 3:50 showing of TANGLED (pretty decent, really funny, better plot twists than normal. 4.5 out of 5 on the Disney scale.) at The Pagoda (Claire paid for the movie and snacks) and then we went to dinner at Jackson's Tex-Mex for dinner and CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! (I paid for dinner and cake.)
On our way to Jackson's, Claire had a little mishap. She had placed the big tub of popcorn on the dashboard in front of her and after one stoplight she forgot to brace it... Well, let's just say that the mess that occurred took fifteen minutes to clean out in the parking lot of a local Costco and the butter stains on her crotch made her look like someone had given her a nasty surprise. After we ate at Jackson's, we went around the back alley behind Jackson's to get to Kermit parked on the other side, much to Claire's protestations. She rationed, "Something that only happens in movies already happened to us! Do you want to risk it?" Yes. Yes, I did. So she reluctantly followed me through the alley. I turned the corner to go into the alley and screamed. Claire nearly jumped out of her skin because I was joking. She almost tried to kill me. (She's almost a pacifist and she couldn't kill me even if she tried. Ha ha, Claire, ha ha!)
Now that covered until 7, so what'd we do for the rest of the time? Nothing. Well, nothing of importance. We went by Joseph's house. He wasn't there. We stopped by Kenny H's house. He wasn't there either. We dropped by Claire's house around 8 to use the bathrooms and then we went back to Joseph's and camped out in front of their house until they got home, around 8:45. It was awkward, but Joseph let us in and Claire's feet defrosted. (She was silly enough to leave her shoes at her house. She just thought we were going to go out to some field someplace and listen to music in the car. Wrong-o.) We watched a Fairly Odd Parents then went back into Joseph's room and watched him play SUPER MEAT BOY (it's actually fun to watch) and BIOSHOCK 2. When I go to Joseph's, I kind of have an established spot in his room. I lay diagonally on his bed with my feet at his nighttable and my head where Joseph's head is when he plays videogames and watches TV at the other corner. So basically I had my face in his hair. It was great. His hair smells really nice. I can't describe it but it smells clean. =) Plus, I was kind of playing with his hair and nuzzling his head and such and he didn't complain. Well, he complained once when I accidentally pulled his hair to hard, but that was because I accidentally laid on it. Oops.
We left around 9:50 and went to the field Claire was hoping for but on the drive there it was foggy and the fog was blowing at us so hard it felt like we were in Stephen King's THE MIST. We got freaked and I drove at a nice, slow 25 until we got to the spot. Claire said that Joseph and I looked cute and kind of perfect for each other (duh. ha ha) and we just sat and talked and listened to music until about 10:40 when we drove for five minutes to drop her off and then another ten seconds for me.
So yeah. GREAT night. I wish more of my sisters could have come - that would have made today absolutely perfect - but today was the best day I have had in a very long time and I wish I had something more to commemorate it. OMG! I FORGOT MY TICKET STUB! CLAIRE STILL HAS THEM! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T THROW THEM AWAY! (By the way, I collect ticket stubs from movies I go to and, since there are so few, I can tell you exactly whom I went with and what memory I have of that event.)
Hugz and hugz to infinity because I am in a great mood
HM
For the males who read this (which happen to be none), girls love having days to themselves, especially if it's with a group of their closest friends. Traditionally, they'll spend the entire day shopping and spending your mortgage money, but this isn't always the case. Bev, Wanda, and their posse hang around at one of their houses, drink wine/beer, watch chick flicks, and gossip. Basically what I am leading up to is the entire after school day - from 3 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. (curfew's at 11) - became a girls' day out for me and Claire, except Joseph got thrown in at the end.
I drive Claire home almost everyday after school. We didn't have Gamer's Club and I didn't have to pick up Bentley from school, so we thought "Hey! Let's have a day to ourselves!" And we did. We went to see the 3:50 showing of TANGLED (pretty decent, really funny, better plot twists than normal. 4.5 out of 5 on the Disney scale.) at The Pagoda (Claire paid for the movie and snacks) and then we went to dinner at Jackson's Tex-Mex for dinner and CAKE!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! (I paid for dinner and cake.)
On our way to Jackson's, Claire had a little mishap. She had placed the big tub of popcorn on the dashboard in front of her and after one stoplight she forgot to brace it... Well, let's just say that the mess that occurred took fifteen minutes to clean out in the parking lot of a local Costco and the butter stains on her crotch made her look like someone had given her a nasty surprise. After we ate at Jackson's, we went around the back alley behind Jackson's to get to Kermit parked on the other side, much to Claire's protestations. She rationed, "Something that only happens in movies already happened to us! Do you want to risk it?" Yes. Yes, I did. So she reluctantly followed me through the alley. I turned the corner to go into the alley and screamed. Claire nearly jumped out of her skin because I was joking. She almost tried to kill me. (She's almost a pacifist and she couldn't kill me even if she tried. Ha ha, Claire, ha ha!)
Now that covered until 7, so what'd we do for the rest of the time? Nothing. Well, nothing of importance. We went by Joseph's house. He wasn't there. We stopped by Kenny H's house. He wasn't there either. We dropped by Claire's house around 8 to use the bathrooms and then we went back to Joseph's and camped out in front of their house until they got home, around 8:45. It was awkward, but Joseph let us in and Claire's feet defrosted. (She was silly enough to leave her shoes at her house. She just thought we were going to go out to some field someplace and listen to music in the car. Wrong-o.) We watched a Fairly Odd Parents then went back into Joseph's room and watched him play SUPER MEAT BOY (it's actually fun to watch) and BIOSHOCK 2. When I go to Joseph's, I kind of have an established spot in his room. I lay diagonally on his bed with my feet at his nighttable and my head where Joseph's head is when he plays videogames and watches TV at the other corner. So basically I had my face in his hair. It was great. His hair smells really nice. I can't describe it but it smells clean. =) Plus, I was kind of playing with his hair and nuzzling his head and such and he didn't complain. Well, he complained once when I accidentally pulled his hair to hard, but that was because I accidentally laid on it. Oops.
We left around 9:50 and went to the field Claire was hoping for but on the drive there it was foggy and the fog was blowing at us so hard it felt like we were in Stephen King's THE MIST. We got freaked and I drove at a nice, slow 25 until we got to the spot. Claire said that Joseph and I looked cute and kind of perfect for each other (duh. ha ha) and we just sat and talked and listened to music until about 10:40 when we drove for five minutes to drop her off and then another ten seconds for me.
So yeah. GREAT night. I wish more of my sisters could have come - that would have made today absolutely perfect - but today was the best day I have had in a very long time and I wish I had something more to commemorate it. OMG! I FORGOT MY TICKET STUB! CLAIRE STILL HAS THEM! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T THROW THEM AWAY! (By the way, I collect ticket stubs from movies I go to and, since there are so few, I can tell you exactly whom I went with and what memory I have of that event.)
Hugz and hugz to infinity because I am in a great mood
HM
Monday, January 17, 2011
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things
Greetings.
Now, i am going to add to my ever growing list of my favorite things, on which I already have these items:
My sisters, Joseph, my friends, shamrocks, FAMILY MATTERS, NCIS, huge glasses, tight buns, Jackson's cake, clean hair, roses, good non-racist jokes, long flowy capes, stained glass windows, sweet-smelling grass.
And now I am going to add the following: Joseph's stinky sock feet.
Okay, okay, let me explain.
Joseph, Petrie, and I were hanging out at church yesterday as usual. And we were talking about video games and all sorts of junk like that, you know, like we always do. Well, Joseph and I were messing around on the couch, throwing pillows, hitting each other. (We must have looked kind of silly, but Petrie's cool so he doesn't care. It was when four other girls - one of whom goes to Horizon with me and Joseph - came in that I got a little flustered.) But one time, Joseph just decides "Pfft! Screw the pillows! I'm going to attack her with my feet!", takes his shoes off, and lays his feet on my chest, waving them in my face. I took a blanket and covered my face from the attack, and we just kept playing. It was a lot of fun. He was playing with me! Wheeeee!
So I hope that now you understand why I like Joseph's sock feet. They aren't really stinky, I promise.
Hugz
HM
Now, i am going to add to my ever growing list of my favorite things, on which I already have these items:
My sisters, Joseph, my friends, shamrocks, FAMILY MATTERS, NCIS, huge glasses, tight buns, Jackson's cake, clean hair, roses, good non-racist jokes, long flowy capes, stained glass windows, sweet-smelling grass.
And now I am going to add the following: Joseph's stinky sock feet.
Okay, okay, let me explain.
Joseph, Petrie, and I were hanging out at church yesterday as usual. And we were talking about video games and all sorts of junk like that, you know, like we always do. Well, Joseph and I were messing around on the couch, throwing pillows, hitting each other. (We must have looked kind of silly, but Petrie's cool so he doesn't care. It was when four other girls - one of whom goes to Horizon with me and Joseph - came in that I got a little flustered.) But one time, Joseph just decides "Pfft! Screw the pillows! I'm going to attack her with my feet!", takes his shoes off, and lays his feet on my chest, waving them in my face. I took a blanket and covered my face from the attack, and we just kept playing. It was a lot of fun. He was playing with me! Wheeeee!
So I hope that now you understand why I like Joseph's sock feet. They aren't really stinky, I promise.
Hugz
HM
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Those Precious Moments
Greetings.
"To err is human." I don't know who said it, but I put it in this blog post for two reasons. 1) It's an awesome quote and I just wanted to use it. And 2) it's one hundred percent true.
Okay, as you guessed by the title, erring has nothing to do with what I want to talk about. It's just a cool quote. But you know those little moments in life that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you think about them? Yeah, I don't have a whole lot of them from recent years. I mean, some people can find at least one a day. I'm lucky if I find one once a month. Okay, sure, I love my friends and all very much, but I only get to see them for 40 minutes a day at lunch unless we work really hard to see each other. So my memory possibilities are very limited. Then I have my family, who does their own thing and leaves me alone for a lot of the time. Either that, or they just start yelling at me for no good reason and- okay, no, I am not going to get mad today.
So basically, those happy little moments are fairly scarce. But I have had a few that I would like to share with you.
Exhibit A:
Joseph, Claire, Bennie, Ernie, and our friend Todd Harvey (no relation to my psycho ex-one-date-guy/ex-friend) were sitting behind the band room at our school waiting for Todd's mom to pick Ernie, Todd, and Joseph up. I have been sick for about a week and I was feeling particularly crappy yesterday - not just because of that but also I hadn't had a single thing to eat that day - so I pulled Joseph closer to me and laid my head on his shoulder. He didn't make me move it. In fact, when I informed him that I hadn't eaten all day (I had been super busy at lunch so I didn't see him, nor did I get lunch, duh) he tried to make me eat a Rice Krispie Treat, which I hate, but his heart was in the right place. And he let me lay on his shoulder until Mrs. Harvey picked them up. I noticed Bennie and Claire were giggling over something so I stole the iPod I had seen them giggling at and read it. It was about how Joseph and I looked so cute together. I felt good, but still sick and hungry.
Exhibit B:
Any time I see Ally. I hardly ever see her and I miss her dreadfully. So every time I see her, I feel great and I don't miss her anymore. That is until she leaves. WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!
Exhibit C: (I am not going to say anymore after this one)
The time in the car I have with my brother Bentley. When we talk or sing songs, I feel great. He and I don't get a lot of time together - he's a studly young guy and has a girlfriend as well as a show to do - so the little time I do, it's great.
While those aren't the only ones, these are some of the best examples. I love my friends and my brother. And I can tolerate my parents sometimes. But these are some of my favorite examples. (Also, pretty much any moment with Joseph counts.) ;)
Hugz
HM
"To err is human." I don't know who said it, but I put it in this blog post for two reasons. 1) It's an awesome quote and I just wanted to use it. And 2) it's one hundred percent true.
Okay, as you guessed by the title, erring has nothing to do with what I want to talk about. It's just a cool quote. But you know those little moments in life that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you think about them? Yeah, I don't have a whole lot of them from recent years. I mean, some people can find at least one a day. I'm lucky if I find one once a month. Okay, sure, I love my friends and all very much, but I only get to see them for 40 minutes a day at lunch unless we work really hard to see each other. So my memory possibilities are very limited. Then I have my family, who does their own thing and leaves me alone for a lot of the time. Either that, or they just start yelling at me for no good reason and- okay, no, I am not going to get mad today.
So basically, those happy little moments are fairly scarce. But I have had a few that I would like to share with you.
Exhibit A:
Joseph, Claire, Bennie, Ernie, and our friend Todd Harvey (no relation to my psycho ex-one-date-guy/ex-friend) were sitting behind the band room at our school waiting for Todd's mom to pick Ernie, Todd, and Joseph up. I have been sick for about a week and I was feeling particularly crappy yesterday - not just because of that but also I hadn't had a single thing to eat that day - so I pulled Joseph closer to me and laid my head on his shoulder. He didn't make me move it. In fact, when I informed him that I hadn't eaten all day (I had been super busy at lunch so I didn't see him, nor did I get lunch, duh) he tried to make me eat a Rice Krispie Treat, which I hate, but his heart was in the right place. And he let me lay on his shoulder until Mrs. Harvey picked them up. I noticed Bennie and Claire were giggling over something so I stole the iPod I had seen them giggling at and read it. It was about how Joseph and I looked so cute together. I felt good, but still sick and hungry.
Exhibit B:
Any time I see Ally. I hardly ever see her and I miss her dreadfully. So every time I see her, I feel great and I don't miss her anymore. That is until she leaves. WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!
Exhibit C: (I am not going to say anymore after this one)
The time in the car I have with my brother Bentley. When we talk or sing songs, I feel great. He and I don't get a lot of time together - he's a studly young guy and has a girlfriend as well as a show to do - so the little time I do, it's great.
While those aren't the only ones, these are some of the best examples. I love my friends and my brother. And I can tolerate my parents sometimes. But these are some of my favorite examples. (Also, pretty much any moment with Joseph counts.) ;)
Hugz
HM
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years
Greetings.
Do any of you remember the post I had in mid-June - 6/17/10 to be exact - that I explained to you that you should always have a bat with you? I still sleep with a bat beside my bed and it actually makes me feel a lot safer. I just have to reach my hand over my head and BAM! Insta-weapon!
Off topic as usual, HM. Anyways, I was wondering if any of you made any New Year's resolutions. I did: be more patient, especially in my never-ending pursuit of Joseph Matthew Morton, but patience in general would be a good thing. I have no patience, especially with presents. Ironically, I am perfectly fine in restaurants. It's Nana who gets so hungry and antsy.
I've had a lovely New Years so far. We played a singing game, but then I went back into my room. Claire's here and she found a pretty cute guy to play Magic: The Gathering with. I was flirting with him first so =P!!!!! Not fair. Just because I am not interested in a card game...
Gotta go. I have to go steal the guy back! Ha ha!
Hugz and Happy New Year
HM
Do any of you remember the post I had in mid-June - 6/17/10 to be exact - that I explained to you that you should always have a bat with you? I still sleep with a bat beside my bed and it actually makes me feel a lot safer. I just have to reach my hand over my head and BAM! Insta-weapon!
Off topic as usual, HM. Anyways, I was wondering if any of you made any New Year's resolutions. I did: be more patient, especially in my never-ending pursuit of Joseph Matthew Morton, but patience in general would be a good thing. I have no patience, especially with presents. Ironically, I am perfectly fine in restaurants. It's Nana who gets so hungry and antsy.
I've had a lovely New Years so far. We played a singing game, but then I went back into my room. Claire's here and she found a pretty cute guy to play Magic: The Gathering with. I was flirting with him first so =P!!!!! Not fair. Just because I am not interested in a card game...
Gotta go. I have to go steal the guy back! Ha ha!
Hugz and Happy New Year
HM
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