Life... And What We Must Put Up With In It

Greetings.


Life sucks. Anyone else notice this? Of course you do, who hasn't? That's the harder question. Right now, I am going to give you a few tips on how to live life. Or not. It all depends on you. (That's not the first tip, but you can take it or leave it.)

1) If you're happy now, keep being happy for as long as you can. Example: Claire and Jean-Luc broke up again earlier today, 2/28. I don't know if I told you all or not but Jean-Luc dumped Claire in January so he could date another girl (DANGER! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!) and I was pissed. Claire was depressed, I could tell, despite her facade. She can't fool me. And I don't care if I get reamed out by her for this, but I have to say it: she should not have taken him back. He started dating Lizzie Gomez LESS THAN A WEEK after he and she broke up. I really was pissed, as were most of her friends, especially Ernie and William. (Moral I could care less about.) Well, about a month ago, she took him back. And earlier today, they broke up again. Why? "It was inevitable" was pretty much the only valid reason she gave me. THAT'S NUTS! That's like saying, "It's inevitable that we're all going to die, so why don't we all go kill ourselves?" BE HAPPY. AS LONG AS YOU CAN, UNLESS IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOT AN OPTION, BE FRICKING HAPPY.

2) Expect the unexpected.

3) Learn when to stop. Example: Joseph was in our theater troupe's performance of PINOCCHIO and boy was he the cutest Gepetto that ever walked the earth. He was also the only one with an Italian accent. Well, for some reason, Joseph doesn't like to sing, or at least he only sings "when he feels like it". But he sang "When You Wish Upon A Star" at the end of the show with the rest of the cast and I could hear him because his microphone was up. Now, I hounded this all day at lunch today, singing lines from the song in a helium voice so he would try to gag me, smush my face, and get play mad at me in general. I can tell when he's really mad; no one is safe. But when he's play mad - which means he's really enjoying the attention that I give him, but I'm still kind of annoying him, a talent I have - he does things like try to stop me. I know when to stop. Usually it's after the chorus, but today I was tired so I quit early. ;)

4) Laugh. At EVERY opportunity. It's a blessing to laugh, a release. It's better than blogging. Ha ha. Here's the last one.

5) Learn how to say goodbye and hello. This is the lesson I have the most problems with. I can't say goodbye. I still have BARBIES from when I was three. I am a pack rat, but that's not really what I mean. Here's the example: Allyson, my hero and my oldest friend, is leaving, going 1,200 miles southwest to a little-not-so-little college called USC. Now, I hardly see her as is, what with her supremely busy schedule. But I can't fly 1200 miles to dye Easter eggs, exchange birthday/Christmas presents (by the way, yes, I still have her Christmas presents), go trick-or-treating, or just hang out and talk with her. She is my guiding light, my Clarence the Angel, my Jiminy Cricket. And now I have to say goodbye for God knows how long. There isn't much here in East Westerfield to bring her back and I'm planning on staying here. What am I going to do? I am terrible with goodbyes; I blubber worse than a baby. And now I'm going to have to say goodbye to Allyson Vivian Clay, who is practically my sister, for I don't know how long.

And you know what scares me the most? I'm scared that she, and all of my other friends - Joseph, Bennie, Joss, Claire - will go away and never come back for me.

Okay, I have GOT to stop now. I'm crying.


Hugz
HM

The Nostalgia Critic #2 (and Other Less Important Things)

Greetings.


Seriously, this guy is so funny! I am re-watching his review of MY PET MONSTER and he's griping about how they used the toy (yes, it was a toy first) on the cover of the videocassette instead of the actual monster in the movie. (It was the 80s, go with it) This is what he said:

"So let me get this straight: The children's plaything that you can get at Toys-R-Us for, like, $15, is a better special effect than this ANIMATRONIC CHUCK E. CHEESE NIGHTMARE!!!!! (spazzes out momentarily) YOU LIED TO ME MOVIE, YOU LIED TO ME! I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING THIS (points to cover) BUT NO INSTEAD I'M GETTING (shows monster from movie, shudders) THE F****** CRACK BABY FROM "WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE"!!!!!!"

SOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!! If you have not checked this guy out, you must.

Anyways, Claire stayed over yesterday and Bev got mad at me for being a good sister. Here is what happened: Bentley went out with his girlfriend (hell if I know, she could be a Russian spy or something) Nina Burbank and a few of their friends like Donna Pickett, Viola St. Sebastian, and other kids from our theater troupe. Well, he left at five thirty-ish. He didn't get home until 11:45, midnight. I CAN'T EVEN STAY OUT THAT LATE, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! But I am getting ahead of myself.

Anyways, around 11:30, I begin to worry because I am a good sister so I use Claire's cell phone (mine's dead) and call him. I can't understand him, but he's alive, so okay. I tell him to call Bev. He doesn't of course, and I don't hear from him for the rest of the night. Cut to 12:45 when I call Dad, who is at Mr. Hart's house playing games. I ask him where Bentley is and he is amazed to know that BENTLEY HAS NOT RETURNED HOME (to his knowledge, but earlier on, Bentley said to call Dad). But our connection is cut off and he calls back a minute or two later and tells Bev that Bentley IS home and that, when I went out to see Bev lying on the couch asleep, he was already home.

Bev. Gets. Mad. At. Me. For. Calling. Bentley. To. See. If. He. Is. Okay. She says I was being inappropriate! WHAT THE HELL WAS INAPPROPRIATE!!!! I WAS TRYING TO FIND OUT IF HE WAS DEAD, DRUNK, OR NO LONGER A VIRGIN!!!!!!!! I WAS WORRIED!!!!! I WAS A GOOD BIG SISTER!!!!!!! AND SHE HAS THE BALLS TO GET MAD AT ME!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FRICKING HELL IS UP WITH THAT???????

Anyways, today I played third wheel/chauffeur to Claire and Jean-Luc. (I'm more a chauffeur than person these days, I guess) We went to dinner and then saw MEGAMIND (4 out of 5 stars, it was better than and 3.5 but not quite really a 4, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt).

There, that's my life for the past two days. Wheeee...


Hugz
HM

Poppy

Greetings.


If I ever talk smack about my grandfather on my dad's side, Poppy, I want someone to come over and slap me. Poppy, a stock market genius of an old man who was around for the stock market crash, is going to buy me a new truck, open a trust fund for me, AND pay for most of my college. I hate my family, but I guess that only applies to immediate family, because right now I absolutely adore my Poppy and I always love Gramps and Nana.

Also, CLAIRE HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND!!!! His name is Jean-Luc Slayton. He goes to our Gamer's Club, but he's not a prominent member. In fact, he is so non-prominent that I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE GUY LOOKS LIKE!!!!!! But Claire really likes him so I am taking them home tomorrow (maybe) so I can see this guy. Sheesh, I have been gone from Gamer's Club too long even though I am the Vice-President.

Anyways, I just wanted to share the fabulous news.


Hugz to infinity,
HM