Greetings.
Today, I wasn't needed in Sunday school (WAAAAAAH!!!!!!) so I stayed for the adult sermon, which is unusual for me. I usually stay for Sunday school and then the Youth service, or just stay for Sunday school and then go have brunch with Nana. But today they didn't need me so I stayed for the adult service. Joseph played bass this morning (How sexy is he? He acts, goes to church devotedly every Sunday, plays several instruments, can sing when he wants to, has a nice butt, and glasses. I swear, I'd marry him if he'd let me. hee hee) and we sat with his parents.
Pastor Sherman's sermon was on Romans 4:17-25. Now, I never bring my Bible to church because they always have the verses on the screen and I am trying to ease myself into this church stuff (I'm still not overly used to it but I enjoy it, I think?) but I kind of wish I had. I can't remember who Ishmael was for the life of me and Pastor Sherman referenced him a LOT during the sermon.
I digress.
Anyways, he talked about miracles and the processes of faith and miracles. First, God DECLARES that he's going to do something for you. Then you make a DECISION about the DECLARATION. Then comes the hard part: there's a DELAY in His promise. He says that this is the hardest part, the "Wait Here" step. DOUBT enters your mind, DESPAIR creeps into your heart, and DETOURS present themselves. This is the part where I began to cry.
He finally says that when our hope has DISAPPEARED, God will DELIVER us. God waits for the circumstances to go from simply "improbable" to "impossible". God loves to defy physics. It's like his hobby. He's good at it. He has two specialties: life from death and making something out of nothing. Raising Jesus from the dead and putting a baby in the Virgin Mary are REALLY good examples.
But why it made me cry was because I was sitting next to what I hope to be my miracle. Joseph. I fell in love with him which I imagine to be God's DECLARATION that I shall love him. I made a DECISION: I'm going to be patient and wait out the DELAY. DESPAIR, DOUBT, DETOURS - all have presented themselves, but I am doing my best not to get too discouraged. Obviously, the last two have not occurred yet, but when my DELIVERANCE comes, I will be so happy I will most likely break the Internet.
I hope no one figures out I broke it, though. Maybe that'll be God's NEXT miracle for me. Ha ha ha.
Hugz
HM
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Jocelyn You-Na Black
Greetings.
Jocelyn, whose real Korean name is You-Na, is a transfer student from Korea. Maybe I should say that she was sent here by her mother to live with her uncle, aunt, and cousins, who, ironically, I went to elementary and middle school with at Southington Heights Christian Academy until I went eighth grade. She was in my freshman Geometry class, in which I sat next to and perpetually joked with Joseph. (I still got an A. Who da boss?) I didn't know her very well. She kept to herself and only spoke when the teacher spoke to her. I don't blame her; her English was and still is, though less so, a little bit shaky.
I actually met her and became friends with her sophomore year. She was in my P.E. class and we were always the ones left without partners or teams or what-have-yous. So we were forced to partner together most often. I didn't mind; she was fit, but lazy. I was fat, but my heart rate easily went up for heart rate monitors. Soon she started cheating off of me for our weekly grade. And we started talking.
Sophomore year was hard for me, what with the Freddy Ackerby fiasco. Jocelyn came at a slightly bad time. But she started sitting with us at our lunch table late September. Her friends from freshman year had transferred or were ignoring her, I am still unclear as to that point. Nevertheless, we couldn't seem to get rid of her. It was she that brought Emma, Pete, and Lucky to the table junior year (who have since disappeared) and introduced Bennie to the delight that is "kimpa", a kind of Korean sushi that Bennie, Emma, Pete, and Lucky are all addicted to. Neither I nor Joseph like them.
There are a lot of things about Joss that I am uncertain of. Like why she left Korea, for one. Then there are a plethora of little questions like does she miss it. But I know one thing: I would never replace Joss, Bennie, Claire, Ally, or Joseph for anyone in the entire world.
Hugz
HM
Jocelyn, whose real Korean name is You-Na, is a transfer student from Korea. Maybe I should say that she was sent here by her mother to live with her uncle, aunt, and cousins, who, ironically, I went to elementary and middle school with at Southington Heights Christian Academy until I went eighth grade. She was in my freshman Geometry class, in which I sat next to and perpetually joked with Joseph. (I still got an A. Who da boss?) I didn't know her very well. She kept to herself and only spoke when the teacher spoke to her. I don't blame her; her English was and still is, though less so, a little bit shaky.
I actually met her and became friends with her sophomore year. She was in my P.E. class and we were always the ones left without partners or teams or what-have-yous. So we were forced to partner together most often. I didn't mind; she was fit, but lazy. I was fat, but my heart rate easily went up for heart rate monitors. Soon she started cheating off of me for our weekly grade. And we started talking.
Sophomore year was hard for me, what with the Freddy Ackerby fiasco. Jocelyn came at a slightly bad time. But she started sitting with us at our lunch table late September. Her friends from freshman year had transferred or were ignoring her, I am still unclear as to that point. Nevertheless, we couldn't seem to get rid of her. It was she that brought Emma, Pete, and Lucky to the table junior year (who have since disappeared) and introduced Bennie to the delight that is "kimpa", a kind of Korean sushi that Bennie, Emma, Pete, and Lucky are all addicted to. Neither I nor Joseph like them.
There are a lot of things about Joss that I am uncertain of. Like why she left Korea, for one. Then there are a plethora of little questions like does she miss it. But I know one thing: I would never replace Joss, Bennie, Claire, Ally, or Joseph for anyone in the entire world.
Hugz
HM
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Benjamyn Caroline Barton
Greetings.
Bennie is in one hyphenated word soft-spoken. She is the sweetest, most sincere, most loyal, and quietest person I know. But once you get into her head, she won't shut up. And we all love her for it.
When I met her in eighth grade, I was weak and vulnerable. I had had... a bad experience in seventh and I went to Eileen Herald Memorial Junior High School, where Remy and Aaron had graduated from the year previous, for a fresh start. A girl named Tanya showed me around, but she was one of the popular girls; she didn't want to have anything to do with me even though eighth grade was one of my thinner years. But I was picked up by a few others: a group of five girls named Darleen Lopez, Zahara Izyan, Lacey Griggs, Ana Dotefsky, Riley St. Norton, and, of course, Bennie Barton. By the middle of November, Zahara and Ana were gone and me and a girl named Toni DiAngelo had replaced them. Out of all of them, Darleen and Lacey were the most ruthless when they dumped them. I should have learned my lesson, but no. About the middle of April, they dumped me too. Only Bennie came to me and apologized. Only Bennie didn't want to do it. She had gotten into an argument with the others about it. But she and Darleen had been best friends since they were babies and she had to. I understood; I wasn't mad at her.
When we entered high school at Horizon (the newest school in the county and, only in its second year, had one of the best academic and athletic reputations in the state), Toni and Darleen went to different schools, Riley and Lacey pretty much stopped communications with Bennie, Zahara and Ana went their separate ways, and Bennie and I found each other. We didn't know anyone else except for me knowing Joseph and we needed someone. For the first two weeks, we stayed out in the courtyard and Bennie never met Joseph. But finally, once it started getting cold, we moved inside the cafeteria and we have stayed with each other ever since.
Bennie is amazing. She stays true to you no matter what, unless you betray her trust. She and I are alike in the fact that we trust too hard and, sometimes, not too well, as in the case of the other girls. She is shy onstage, only able to speak with someone else, preferably me (or Joss once sophomore reared its ugly head), with her. She is kind, beautiful, and dependable. She's smart and a fairly happy person. I love my Bennie. She is the one who got me into manga, first addicting me to FRUITS BASKET, and I dubbed her Bennie-chan, chan being an term of affection in Japanese culture. I love my Bennie-chan.
Hugz
HM
Bennie is in one hyphenated word soft-spoken. She is the sweetest, most sincere, most loyal, and quietest person I know. But once you get into her head, she won't shut up. And we all love her for it.
When I met her in eighth grade, I was weak and vulnerable. I had had... a bad experience in seventh and I went to Eileen Herald Memorial Junior High School, where Remy and Aaron had graduated from the year previous, for a fresh start. A girl named Tanya showed me around, but she was one of the popular girls; she didn't want to have anything to do with me even though eighth grade was one of my thinner years. But I was picked up by a few others: a group of five girls named Darleen Lopez, Zahara Izyan, Lacey Griggs, Ana Dotefsky, Riley St. Norton, and, of course, Bennie Barton. By the middle of November, Zahara and Ana were gone and me and a girl named Toni DiAngelo had replaced them. Out of all of them, Darleen and Lacey were the most ruthless when they dumped them. I should have learned my lesson, but no. About the middle of April, they dumped me too. Only Bennie came to me and apologized. Only Bennie didn't want to do it. She had gotten into an argument with the others about it. But she and Darleen had been best friends since they were babies and she had to. I understood; I wasn't mad at her.
When we entered high school at Horizon (the newest school in the county and, only in its second year, had one of the best academic and athletic reputations in the state), Toni and Darleen went to different schools, Riley and Lacey pretty much stopped communications with Bennie, Zahara and Ana went their separate ways, and Bennie and I found each other. We didn't know anyone else except for me knowing Joseph and we needed someone. For the first two weeks, we stayed out in the courtyard and Bennie never met Joseph. But finally, once it started getting cold, we moved inside the cafeteria and we have stayed with each other ever since.
Bennie is amazing. She stays true to you no matter what, unless you betray her trust. She and I are alike in the fact that we trust too hard and, sometimes, not too well, as in the case of the other girls. She is shy onstage, only able to speak with someone else, preferably me (or Joss once sophomore reared its ugly head), with her. She is kind, beautiful, and dependable. She's smart and a fairly happy person. I love my Bennie. She is the one who got me into manga, first addicting me to FRUITS BASKET, and I dubbed her Bennie-chan, chan being an term of affection in Japanese culture. I love my Bennie-chan.
Hugz
HM
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Clarysse Jennette Burns
Greetings.
I have been getting a lot of requests (mostly from the subjects except for Joseph who has never read this) to write an expository blog post on each of my friends. I already did Allyson, which sparked the whole request thing anyways, and I did Joseph. Quite a few times, in fact. So I am going to go from longest time known to shortest and, since I aready technically started with Ally, I am going to write about Clarysse, then Benjamyn, then Jocelyn.
...I just noticed that all four of my sisters have a 'y' in their names.
Anyways, Claire and I have known each other since we were five. My family had just moved into our new house and she and her dad came by to welcome us. We started to play a lot, but we didn't become best friends until Ally and I drifted apart mid-first grade year, sad to say. But this was back when I thought I could only have one best friend. (As of now, I am not going to have a Maid of Honor at my wedding. I'm going to have four ;) We played games and did normal kids stuff. She was most often over at my house because she was hardly ever happy at her own, but I sure as hell didn't mind. It was kind of like having a real built-in sister. Even BENTLEY liked her.
She's six months younger than I and that means, where we live, she's a school year younger than me too. (which is why I am not having any December babies) So we entered high school at different times. My freshman year was fine, as was her eighth grade year. It was when we started going to school together did drama arise. Freddy. Kenny Harris. Vic. Nate. Wayne. Guy troubles out the wazoo.
But I was happy. So was Claire. She had a lot of friends and no one was mean or spiteful to her except for this one awful girl in her film class, but she graduated last year, so yay! And now she has the first drama she's really had since Kenny Harris. Not only is there Ernie and WIlliam, there's now a guy who is A) a year younger, B) a SCHOOL year younger, and C) a member of her church. His name is Moral Camden. Basically he led her on and I called him out on it and now Claire is pissed ad both me AND Moral and I'm pissed at Moral and Moral is pissed at me. I frankly don't care about Moral. Once you screw over a friend of mine, you are dead to me. But I'm worried about Claire.
Claire is, despite all appearances, a fragile person. She never cries (I call her a Brit) but I know she's very stressed. She comes from a large family, she is the youngest of five, (I mentioned her older sister, Annegela, earlier on) and she got picked on a lot when she was little. So she sought refuge at my house. She's one of the kindest people I know and very trusting, something she inherited from me (ha ha). But sometimes, just as I do, she puts her faith in the wrong people and it cripples her. Claire is one of the dearest friends in the world to me, match only by my other sisters and Joseph, but I worry about her more than is probably healthy. Oh, well. It just shows I care.
Hugz
HM
I have been getting a lot of requests (mostly from the subjects except for Joseph who has never read this) to write an expository blog post on each of my friends. I already did Allyson, which sparked the whole request thing anyways, and I did Joseph. Quite a few times, in fact. So I am going to go from longest time known to shortest and, since I aready technically started with Ally, I am going to write about Clarysse, then Benjamyn, then Jocelyn.
...I just noticed that all four of my sisters have a 'y' in their names.
Anyways, Claire and I have known each other since we were five. My family had just moved into our new house and she and her dad came by to welcome us. We started to play a lot, but we didn't become best friends until Ally and I drifted apart mid-first grade year, sad to say. But this was back when I thought I could only have one best friend. (As of now, I am not going to have a Maid of Honor at my wedding. I'm going to have four ;) We played games and did normal kids stuff. She was most often over at my house because she was hardly ever happy at her own, but I sure as hell didn't mind. It was kind of like having a real built-in sister. Even BENTLEY liked her.
She's six months younger than I and that means, where we live, she's a school year younger than me too. (which is why I am not having any December babies) So we entered high school at different times. My freshman year was fine, as was her eighth grade year. It was when we started going to school together did drama arise. Freddy. Kenny Harris. Vic. Nate. Wayne. Guy troubles out the wazoo.
But I was happy. So was Claire. She had a lot of friends and no one was mean or spiteful to her except for this one awful girl in her film class, but she graduated last year, so yay! And now she has the first drama she's really had since Kenny Harris. Not only is there Ernie and WIlliam, there's now a guy who is A) a year younger, B) a SCHOOL year younger, and C) a member of her church. His name is Moral Camden. Basically he led her on and I called him out on it and now Claire is pissed ad both me AND Moral and I'm pissed at Moral and Moral is pissed at me. I frankly don't care about Moral. Once you screw over a friend of mine, you are dead to me. But I'm worried about Claire.
Claire is, despite all appearances, a fragile person. She never cries (I call her a Brit) but I know she's very stressed. She comes from a large family, she is the youngest of five, (I mentioned her older sister, Annegela, earlier on) and she got picked on a lot when she was little. So she sought refuge at my house. She's one of the kindest people I know and very trusting, something she inherited from me (ha ha). But sometimes, just as I do, she puts her faith in the wrong people and it cripples her. Claire is one of the dearest friends in the world to me, match only by my other sisters and Joseph, but I worry about her more than is probably healthy. Oh, well. It just shows I care.
Hugz
HM
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Ernie, William, and Claire
Greetings.
Claire has a lot of friends: Kira Pulliam, Ernie Rodham, William Gottfried, Chase Fuller, Mickie Phineas, Lizzie Gomez, Louisa Tyler, four different Vickies, and countless others aside from myself, Bennie, Joss, and Joseph. Well, two of her dearest guy friends, Ernie and William, are vying for her affections and now her life is full of drama.
About two or three weeks ago, we decided that Ernie was the best choice for her out of the two, given that she liked both of them on the grounds of the Quick Draw Game. You know, when you give the questionee two choices and they have to say the first one that comes to mind. Well it took five grueling rounds of the game, Ernie came out on top. And then earlier this week, the Dreaded Drama arose:
First is William. Sweet guy, a little on the dimmer side when it comes to math, awkward, older than me by almost a month, and affectionate. The drama got intense when his thug of a younger brother purposefully got expelled so he could go to another school. The same day, Claire and he were texting and he confessed that he liked her. She said she liked him too. (oy...) But in her heart, she was holding out hope that Ernie would ask her.
That's when I decided to intervene. I confronted Ernie, for whom I have been rooting for since Claire was a freshman. He said that he did like her and he wanted to ask her out but that he was scared. She had told him her issues freshman year (they dated for like a minute or two and then she dumped him unceremoniously) and he was scared for both of them. I told him that I would take care of him. NOTE: I have nothing, absolutely nothing against William. I just think Ernie and Claire are more suited. (Man, it is HARD to play Cupid.)
Now I am caught between a rock and a love place. And Claire sees this as a problem! TWO GUYS ARE SMITTEN WITH HER!!! I CAN'T EVEN GET ONE!!!!! IF SHE COMPLAINS, I AM GOING TO SMACK HER!!!!!!!
Hugz
HM
Claire has a lot of friends: Kira Pulliam, Ernie Rodham, William Gottfried, Chase Fuller, Mickie Phineas, Lizzie Gomez, Louisa Tyler, four different Vickies, and countless others aside from myself, Bennie, Joss, and Joseph. Well, two of her dearest guy friends, Ernie and William, are vying for her affections and now her life is full of drama.
About two or three weeks ago, we decided that Ernie was the best choice for her out of the two, given that she liked both of them on the grounds of the Quick Draw Game. You know, when you give the questionee two choices and they have to say the first one that comes to mind. Well it took five grueling rounds of the game, Ernie came out on top. And then earlier this week, the Dreaded Drama arose:
First is William. Sweet guy, a little on the dimmer side when it comes to math, awkward, older than me by almost a month, and affectionate. The drama got intense when his thug of a younger brother purposefully got expelled so he could go to another school. The same day, Claire and he were texting and he confessed that he liked her. She said she liked him too. (oy...) But in her heart, she was holding out hope that Ernie would ask her.
That's when I decided to intervene. I confronted Ernie, for whom I have been rooting for since Claire was a freshman. He said that he did like her and he wanted to ask her out but that he was scared. She had told him her issues freshman year (they dated for like a minute or two and then she dumped him unceremoniously) and he was scared for both of them. I told him that I would take care of him. NOTE: I have nothing, absolutely nothing against William. I just think Ernie and Claire are more suited. (Man, it is HARD to play Cupid.)
Now I am caught between a rock and a love place. And Claire sees this as a problem! TWO GUYS ARE SMITTEN WITH HER!!! I CAN'T EVEN GET ONE!!!!! IF SHE COMPLAINS, I AM GOING TO SMACK HER!!!!!!!
Hugz
HM
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Conducting the Choir... and Two B-words
Greetings.
Yesterday, my choir teacher, Mr. Privett, was away at a festival with the boys. (Lucky guys. But the girls' festival is next week so yay!) So it was a sub and our accompanist, Mrs. Tate, who had to teach the class. Well obviously the sub, who is a math teacher on campus, cannot conduct the class and Mrs. Tate has to play the piano. So she asks for student conductor volunteers who have been taking conducting classes with Mr. Privett to come up and direct the class. Both an alto (I have been demoted/promoted/moted to alto because they're super quiet and I'm super LOUD) named Alex Bell and I volunteered and, despite the protests of some of the class, Mrs. Tate let Alex try. I never saw her at the classes, which I have been taking in anticipation of this moment, so I pointed this out. Then her friend, Candy White, snaps at me, "She's been taking it at lunch! Leave her alone!" So I apologized and let her get on with it.
She. Was. Crap. Seriously! She just flopped her hand about and half the time she didn't even do that. And, to make matters worse, she got TIRED after two songs. TIRED! DON'T VOLUNTEER FOR SOMETHING IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP HALFWAY THROUGH. So she asked, "Anyone else want to try?" I raised my hand and the entire class practically begged, "Please, let Harmony Margaret do it! Let HM! Go up there, HM!" and things of that nature. So I went up there and Alex and Candy deliberately sat in the tenor section. So we got through one of the songs, a gospel by Moses Hogan, and we were going over some of the alto parts because some of the girls don't know it when Alex and Candy decide to be very disrespectful and move over to the basses. They won't stand or sing because "We're not altos, we're basses" and then try to sing low and then burst out laughing at their failed attempt. I try not to make waves so I ignore it and continue to work with the altos.
Mrs. Tate, on the other hand, got fed up with Alex and Candy and told them to move back. They move begrudgingly back to the empty tenor section in time for the next song, another gospel (Mr. Privett loves gospels, as do I) by a local composer. I have everyone stand up and everyone does except for, of course, Alex and Candy. I ask them politely to stand. Alex looks at me like I'm the world's biggest poo stain on her shoe and says, "I'm sick." I'm thinking to myself YOU WERE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO DISRUPT THE REHEARSAL but, again, I didn't want to make waves, so I ignored it. We kept working and at one point apparently they were cursing at me or something and two other girls, I'm not sure who but a couple of people say it was to acquaintances of mine, Delta Nielson and Ariel Bow, decide to stick up for me. Apparently, objects were thrown, but I didn't see it because I was working with the altos again. The sopranos have the easy part, the melody, and unless they asked for it, I left them alone. A couple asked for a few notes but mostly they sat quietly and listened to the altos or, in some cases, put Alex and Candy into their places.
Now, I didn't see the incident, but most of the other sopranos did. And they reported it to Mr. Privett after school when he returned from his outing with the boys. And BOY did he lecture us to death today. Not just Alex and Candy, THE ENTIRE CLASS. Apparently, the boys had an incident yesterday as well involving a guy in a truck in the parking lot where they all had lunch. And now I'm stuck going to the Dean to report what happened. (I'm not in trouble, but Mr. Privett needs my help. Mr. Privett also took me aside today and told me that he was sorry and that I should not have had to have been in a situation where I was disrespected. I felt so loved.) But all the girls from yesterday (except Alex and Candy) said I did a great job conducting the class and that Alex and Candy were complete b*****s to me. (Bennie and Joss didn't say the b-word, as did some of the girls, but the majority said the b-word)
I have never felt so loved by my choir. I thought everyone hated me. Now I know at least TWO confirmed haters.
Hugz
HM
Yesterday, my choir teacher, Mr. Privett, was away at a festival with the boys. (Lucky guys. But the girls' festival is next week so yay!) So it was a sub and our accompanist, Mrs. Tate, who had to teach the class. Well obviously the sub, who is a math teacher on campus, cannot conduct the class and Mrs. Tate has to play the piano. So she asks for student conductor volunteers who have been taking conducting classes with Mr. Privett to come up and direct the class. Both an alto (I have been demoted/promoted/moted to alto because they're super quiet and I'm super LOUD) named Alex Bell and I volunteered and, despite the protests of some of the class, Mrs. Tate let Alex try. I never saw her at the classes, which I have been taking in anticipation of this moment, so I pointed this out. Then her friend, Candy White, snaps at me, "She's been taking it at lunch! Leave her alone!" So I apologized and let her get on with it.
She. Was. Crap. Seriously! She just flopped her hand about and half the time she didn't even do that. And, to make matters worse, she got TIRED after two songs. TIRED! DON'T VOLUNTEER FOR SOMETHING IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO GIVE UP HALFWAY THROUGH. So she asked, "Anyone else want to try?" I raised my hand and the entire class practically begged, "Please, let Harmony Margaret do it! Let HM! Go up there, HM!" and things of that nature. So I went up there and Alex and Candy deliberately sat in the tenor section. So we got through one of the songs, a gospel by Moses Hogan, and we were going over some of the alto parts because some of the girls don't know it when Alex and Candy decide to be very disrespectful and move over to the basses. They won't stand or sing because "We're not altos, we're basses" and then try to sing low and then burst out laughing at their failed attempt. I try not to make waves so I ignore it and continue to work with the altos.
Mrs. Tate, on the other hand, got fed up with Alex and Candy and told them to move back. They move begrudgingly back to the empty tenor section in time for the next song, another gospel (Mr. Privett loves gospels, as do I) by a local composer. I have everyone stand up and everyone does except for, of course, Alex and Candy. I ask them politely to stand. Alex looks at me like I'm the world's biggest poo stain on her shoe and says, "I'm sick." I'm thinking to myself YOU WERE HEALTHY ENOUGH TO DISRUPT THE REHEARSAL but, again, I didn't want to make waves, so I ignored it. We kept working and at one point apparently they were cursing at me or something and two other girls, I'm not sure who but a couple of people say it was to acquaintances of mine, Delta Nielson and Ariel Bow, decide to stick up for me. Apparently, objects were thrown, but I didn't see it because I was working with the altos again. The sopranos have the easy part, the melody, and unless they asked for it, I left them alone. A couple asked for a few notes but mostly they sat quietly and listened to the altos or, in some cases, put Alex and Candy into their places.
Now, I didn't see the incident, but most of the other sopranos did. And they reported it to Mr. Privett after school when he returned from his outing with the boys. And BOY did he lecture us to death today. Not just Alex and Candy, THE ENTIRE CLASS. Apparently, the boys had an incident yesterday as well involving a guy in a truck in the parking lot where they all had lunch. And now I'm stuck going to the Dean to report what happened. (I'm not in trouble, but Mr. Privett needs my help. Mr. Privett also took me aside today and told me that he was sorry and that I should not have had to have been in a situation where I was disrespected. I felt so loved.) But all the girls from yesterday (except Alex and Candy) said I did a great job conducting the class and that Alex and Candy were complete b*****s to me. (Bennie and Joss didn't say the b-word, as did some of the girls, but the majority said the b-word)
I have never felt so loved by my choir. I thought everyone hated me. Now I know at least TWO confirmed haters.
Hugz
HM
Friday, September 17, 2010
Comeuppance
Greetings.
In just about every book, movie, play etc., there is a point where the bad guy gets what's coming to him for being so malicious and evil. In THE PRINCESS BRIDE, it's when Westley comes back from the "dead". In FAT ALBERT, it's when Albert picks Reggie up and pretty much threatens him. Anyways, this is called a "comeuppance".
Well, today, I pretty much had mine.
These last few weeks have been exceptionally crappy. I get yelled at by Bentley for leaving a football game when it's over and then I get a LECTURE from Bev about the same topic. She doesn't say boo to him about him yelling at me and I DIDN'T EVEN RAISE MY VOICE. Dad's never around, Bev is always yelling, and Bentley is yelling at me too for anything and everything. I want to move to Gramps and Nana's for a while. But I promised Bentley I'd go to his stupid show LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, (why am I going? I hate blood!) and I hate it when people break promises to me so I don't do it to them.
And then last night, at my request, Claire talked to Joseph about IT. I had been mad at Joseph because he didn't realize that, when I told him that he was the most important person to me, how dramatic and humiliating it was for me. So I was steering clear of the lunch table the last two days. Today I didn't go to school for the first two periods. I only went to school because I had a quiz in Mrs. Clark's Government class and I'd like to keep my A and Mrs. Yates only excuses two days a quarter (or is it semester?) for Library work.
Anyways, I was in the library during lunch like I told Claire I would be. And in through the front door comes Joseph. I think immediately: "Oh, crap." I have nowhere to run. So I strike up a quick conversation with Mrs. Yates and then shelf a book. He follows me and says he wants to talk. I sigh and we adjourn to the far back corner of the library, the most private place in the library. First, he tells me that he has known I liked him since sophomore year. Which is odd because *I* didn't even know until July, a few months later.
Then he gave me the verdict: Friends. Good friends.
He was surprised by my reaction. He said he had pictured me screaming and yelling and throwing punches. I had to laugh at that. That was the only time I smiled all day. But no, I was a big girl. I just collapsed to the ground because my knees gave out and I wanted to faint, to leave, to go home, to go faaaaaaaaaaaaar away. But I didn't say that. Truthfully, I feel numb. Like a part of me has died. I do still love him. That won't go away for a long time. But I wish, with all of my heart, that he loved me back.
Hugz
HM
In just about every book, movie, play etc., there is a point where the bad guy gets what's coming to him for being so malicious and evil. In THE PRINCESS BRIDE, it's when Westley comes back from the "dead". In FAT ALBERT, it's when Albert picks Reggie up and pretty much threatens him. Anyways, this is called a "comeuppance".
Well, today, I pretty much had mine.
These last few weeks have been exceptionally crappy. I get yelled at by Bentley for leaving a football game when it's over and then I get a LECTURE from Bev about the same topic. She doesn't say boo to him about him yelling at me and I DIDN'T EVEN RAISE MY VOICE. Dad's never around, Bev is always yelling, and Bentley is yelling at me too for anything and everything. I want to move to Gramps and Nana's for a while. But I promised Bentley I'd go to his stupid show LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, (why am I going? I hate blood!) and I hate it when people break promises to me so I don't do it to them.
And then last night, at my request, Claire talked to Joseph about IT. I had been mad at Joseph because he didn't realize that, when I told him that he was the most important person to me, how dramatic and humiliating it was for me. So I was steering clear of the lunch table the last two days. Today I didn't go to school for the first two periods. I only went to school because I had a quiz in Mrs. Clark's Government class and I'd like to keep my A and Mrs. Yates only excuses two days a quarter (or is it semester?) for Library work.
Anyways, I was in the library during lunch like I told Claire I would be. And in through the front door comes Joseph. I think immediately: "Oh, crap." I have nowhere to run. So I strike up a quick conversation with Mrs. Yates and then shelf a book. He follows me and says he wants to talk. I sigh and we adjourn to the far back corner of the library, the most private place in the library. First, he tells me that he has known I liked him since sophomore year. Which is odd because *I* didn't even know until July, a few months later.
Then he gave me the verdict: Friends. Good friends.
He was surprised by my reaction. He said he had pictured me screaming and yelling and throwing punches. I had to laugh at that. That was the only time I smiled all day. But no, I was a big girl. I just collapsed to the ground because my knees gave out and I wanted to faint, to leave, to go home, to go faaaaaaaaaaaaar away. But I didn't say that. Truthfully, I feel numb. Like a part of me has died. I do still love him. That won't go away for a long time. But I wish, with all of my heart, that he loved me back.
Hugz
HM
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Little Kids
Greetings.
I have said that I like church. I don't like, however, the songs. They go on FOREVER in the teen service. Okay, I am getting back on track, um, there are two services at the church I go to. It's a small, homey church and that's the way I prefer it, not the Empire State Chapel, you know? Well, first service is for the older folk and during said service, the little kids have Sunday school. And that's my favorite part. So I volunteered to help with the 2- and 3-year-olds. Mrs. Morton, who's pretty much in charge of Sunday school (seriously,if the Mortons ever left the church, the church would absolutely crumble), told me to go help Miss Mikayla. And out of nowhere, Joseph joins me. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
So we're playing with three little kids: two boys, Everett and Fritz (I kid you not, poor boy, what was his mother thinking?), and a girl, Alison. (I miss Ally now...) We were learning about creation and about how God created the animals and we were playing a finding game. The kids had to leave the room while Joseph and I hid the animals around the room for them to find. It was so fun. After that, we had to help the kids identify animals. Joseph was very patient with Alison. I was very impressed: you wouldn't think a robot would be so kind and gentle with little kids, but it just goes to show how wrong I can be.
Alison seems to have attached herself to me. She's only three, but she talks better than Bentley did. (I was kind of a genius talker, Bev says, so I can't compare her to me.) Anyways, as I was about to leave (I was not planning on staying for the teen service, I have four and a half hours of sleep under my belt and I was TIRED) she and her dad, the teen pastor, came into the room and she sees me and then turns to her dad and says, "I don't wanna go to the service." Her dad looks a little surprised and asks her what she wants to do. She points to me and says, "I wanna stay with her." He looked at me and I shrugged. So I spent the latter part of my church time with a smart little girl. We played house and she "covered" me with the pillows on the couches. Once she fell down and scraped her shin BAD (not bad enough that it bled, but it looked really bad) and I kept my cool and cleaned her off. I made her stop crying and got her Band-Aids and I felt SOOOOO bad. She's not even my kid (obviously) and I felt awful.
I had a nice day, so far.
Hugz
HM
I have said that I like church. I don't like, however, the songs. They go on FOREVER in the teen service. Okay, I am getting back on track, um, there are two services at the church I go to. It's a small, homey church and that's the way I prefer it, not the Empire State Chapel, you know? Well, first service is for the older folk and during said service, the little kids have Sunday school. And that's my favorite part. So I volunteered to help with the 2- and 3-year-olds. Mrs. Morton, who's pretty much in charge of Sunday school (seriously,if the Mortons ever left the church, the church would absolutely crumble), told me to go help Miss Mikayla. And out of nowhere, Joseph joins me. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
So we're playing with three little kids: two boys, Everett and Fritz (I kid you not, poor boy, what was his mother thinking?), and a girl, Alison. (I miss Ally now...) We were learning about creation and about how God created the animals and we were playing a finding game. The kids had to leave the room while Joseph and I hid the animals around the room for them to find. It was so fun. After that, we had to help the kids identify animals. Joseph was very patient with Alison. I was very impressed: you wouldn't think a robot would be so kind and gentle with little kids, but it just goes to show how wrong I can be.
Alison seems to have attached herself to me. She's only three, but she talks better than Bentley did. (I was kind of a genius talker, Bev says, so I can't compare her to me.) Anyways, as I was about to leave (I was not planning on staying for the teen service, I have four and a half hours of sleep under my belt and I was TIRED) she and her dad, the teen pastor, came into the room and she sees me and then turns to her dad and says, "I don't wanna go to the service." Her dad looks a little surprised and asks her what she wants to do. She points to me and says, "I wanna stay with her." He looked at me and I shrugged. So I spent the latter part of my church time with a smart little girl. We played house and she "covered" me with the pillows on the couches. Once she fell down and scraped her shin BAD (not bad enough that it bled, but it looked really bad) and I kept my cool and cleaned her off. I made her stop crying and got her Band-Aids and I felt SOOOOO bad. She's not even my kid (obviously) and I felt awful.
I had a nice day, so far.
Hugz
HM
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Kenny is DEAD
Greetings.
Okay. I told you all about how Kenny told Joseph and how Joseph KNOWS and how everything, all my courage and my plans and my dreams and hopes and fears and and and - (slaps self) Thank you, I needed that - were absolutely RUINED???????
HE LIED TO ME.
That's right. I considered him a brother (we even had this society called the VS and I was second-in-command and he was the leader. But it was more like a family deal so he was the big brother and I the little sister even though I am older than him by a few months.) and he BETRAYED ME. And he can't even tell me WHY he did it. He keeps telling me THE BOSS made him do it. Why? Why did her hurt me? I tell everyone, the one thing that I cannot and WILL NOT stand for is LYING. Disloyalty and cheating are up there too, especially or my boyfriends and the boyfriends of my sisters, which Stan did to Bennie, but I will get into that tomorrow so that I can vent vehemently, but lying... why do it? All I ever did was support Kenny. And he lied? I suffered for over a month because he lied to me?
You know how I found out? I asked Joseph to recall the conversation he had with Kenny. He said he couldn't. I asked him if he was sure. He said he was. I told him to swear on his mother's life. He did. And it got me thinking: Joseph doesn't lie and I THINK that, even though he's sometimes a numbskull when it comes to remembering things, he would remember this. So I confronted Kenny about it. And he ADMITTED TO LYING TO ME. I could have killed him. I would have if I hadn't been talking to him on FACEBOOK at the time.
Oh I am so ANGRY. And hurt... What did I do to deserve it? What happened? WHY DID SOMEONE, ESPECIALLY KENNY, DO THIS TO ME?????????? Everyone thinks they can push me around because I'm fat. NEWS FLASH: I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. Lie to me and I hurt. Don't most people?
Hugz
HM
Okay. I told you all about how Kenny told Joseph and how Joseph KNOWS and how everything, all my courage and my plans and my dreams and hopes and fears and and and - (slaps self) Thank you, I needed that - were absolutely RUINED???????
HE LIED TO ME.
That's right. I considered him a brother (we even had this society called the VS and I was second-in-command and he was the leader. But it was more like a family deal so he was the big brother and I the little sister even though I am older than him by a few months.) and he BETRAYED ME. And he can't even tell me WHY he did it. He keeps telling me THE BOSS made him do it. Why? Why did her hurt me? I tell everyone, the one thing that I cannot and WILL NOT stand for is LYING. Disloyalty and cheating are up there too, especially or my boyfriends and the boyfriends of my sisters, which Stan did to Bennie, but I will get into that tomorrow so that I can vent vehemently, but lying... why do it? All I ever did was support Kenny. And he lied? I suffered for over a month because he lied to me?
You know how I found out? I asked Joseph to recall the conversation he had with Kenny. He said he couldn't. I asked him if he was sure. He said he was. I told him to swear on his mother's life. He did. And it got me thinking: Joseph doesn't lie and I THINK that, even though he's sometimes a numbskull when it comes to remembering things, he would remember this. So I confronted Kenny about it. And he ADMITTED TO LYING TO ME. I could have killed him. I would have if I hadn't been talking to him on FACEBOOK at the time.
Oh I am so ANGRY. And hurt... What did I do to deserve it? What happened? WHY DID SOMEONE, ESPECIALLY KENNY, DO THIS TO ME?????????? Everyone thinks they can push me around because I'm fat. NEWS FLASH: I HAVE FEELINGS TOO. Lie to me and I hurt. Don't most people?
Hugz
HM
School and Other Pleasures
Greetings.
Well, I love school. I have to admit it. I might as well tattoo the word "Geek" my forehead. I don't mind. I love being a geek. I would hate to be powerless and stupid. I love being smart. Granted, the social part of school I could sometimes live without like in seventh grade when my school - MY ENTIRE SCHOOL - pretty much left me for dead. But I wouldn't want to cut it out COMPLETELY. It just so happens that I love my school friends.
I digress.
Well, I have the EASIEST schedule ever. So some nights I have no homework. And on those nights... well... Dad suggests that I job hunt. I have tried that. BELIEVE me. And so in lieu of that, Bev suggests... shudder... the GYM. What do I choose? The gym. I am still struggling with my weight. But I am struggling MORE with the gym. I have no lung capacity, I have realized. And I sweat like Hell. And I always feel like someone is judging me. I go to this pretty good gym: it has a LADIES' SECTION. I love it. No demeaning stares from hotter guys. Just hotter women. And I don't give a crap about them. (Well actually yesterday I ran into my hairdresser, Julie. It was a little embarrassing.)
I'm really strong. So I love doing the shoulder and arm workout machines they have. But legs... that's my weak point. I tried that biking machine. HA! I lasted fifteen minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES. I felt like John Pinette! And that's REALLY not good. So I swam today because I didn't want to drive and I STILL felt stupid because I don't know HOW long I lasted. And NOW Bev has this new diet she got from her doctor. I wish people would leave me alone. Although the diet looks tempting. Instead of one of my meals I'd drink a shake. If it's berry (or JAMBA JUICE! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!) I'm game. So yeah... I really hate exercise.
Wait, how did I get from school and the other good things in my life to THE GYM? (barf)
(reading, lips moving along with the words...) ...Oh. That's how.
Hugz
HM
Also, keep Ally in your thoughts. She tore her ACL, kind of an Achilles heel (oh, the irony) for an athlete. Love you, Allyson!
Well, I love school. I have to admit it. I might as well tattoo the word "Geek" my forehead. I don't mind. I love being a geek. I would hate to be powerless and stupid. I love being smart. Granted, the social part of school I could sometimes live without like in seventh grade when my school - MY ENTIRE SCHOOL - pretty much left me for dead. But I wouldn't want to cut it out COMPLETELY. It just so happens that I love my school friends.
I digress.
Well, I have the EASIEST schedule ever. So some nights I have no homework. And on those nights... well... Dad suggests that I job hunt. I have tried that. BELIEVE me. And so in lieu of that, Bev suggests... shudder... the GYM. What do I choose? The gym. I am still struggling with my weight. But I am struggling MORE with the gym. I have no lung capacity, I have realized. And I sweat like Hell. And I always feel like someone is judging me. I go to this pretty good gym: it has a LADIES' SECTION. I love it. No demeaning stares from hotter guys. Just hotter women. And I don't give a crap about them. (Well actually yesterday I ran into my hairdresser, Julie. It was a little embarrassing.)
I'm really strong. So I love doing the shoulder and arm workout machines they have. But legs... that's my weak point. I tried that biking machine. HA! I lasted fifteen minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES. I felt like John Pinette! And that's REALLY not good. So I swam today because I didn't want to drive and I STILL felt stupid because I don't know HOW long I lasted. And NOW Bev has this new diet she got from her doctor. I wish people would leave me alone. Although the diet looks tempting. Instead of one of my meals I'd drink a shake. If it's berry (or JAMBA JUICE! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!) I'm game. So yeah... I really hate exercise.
Wait, how did I get from school and the other good things in my life to THE GYM? (barf)
(reading, lips moving along with the words...) ...Oh. That's how.
Hugz
HM
Also, keep Ally in your thoughts. She tore her ACL, kind of an Achilles heel (oh, the irony) for an athlete. Love you, Allyson!
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